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Be Kind

Rafael Rodriguez
@rafael-rodriguez
4 years ago
41 posts

A more subtle way would be to point them tot he dreadeducation guide. It is a nice read. Not too long. I did it over my phone screen so from a computer it should be more easy.

That way they will know what they might be doing wrong and get good info at the same time without having a bunch of at that moment strangers telling you how bad your choice was and to fix fix fix.

Just a suggestion.


updated by @rafael-rodriguez: 07/23/15 04:13:10PM
taye
@taye
4 years ago
836 posts

I am all for good advice. This site is full of it!!! That is why I am a member...that and all the beautiful ,wonderful people here. My point is that some people are going to deal with criticism differently. Some may be very grateful.....others are going to go on the defensive. The best advice I have seen is to encourage new members to look through all the information. To research on here. Let them ask questions. ENCOURAGE them to ask questions. Don't automatically jump in and overwhelm. It does often sound like an attack and people will take it personally. I can guarantee that human nature does not work that way. Criticism is not taken well..especially if it is completely unexpected. "You did the worst thing....you made a huge mistake....that is the biggest mistake....that is the worst thing you could possibly do.....that is gonna take you 6 months to fix....you need to join the recovery group....and so on and so forth..." to people who have only joined...people who have not posted....people who have not asked a single question. It doesn't sound very welcoming for most people.

I am only saying this because a point was posted. To the majority of people...there is no positive or negative....just criticism i.e. a personal attack.

taye
@taye
4 years ago
836 posts

hahaha i did not see this comment til after my reply.....2 great minds that think alike huh?

Rafael Rodriguez said:

A more subtle way would be to point them tot he dreadeducation guide. It is a nice read. Not too long. I did it over my phone screen so from a computer it should be more easy.

That way they will know what they might be doing wrong and get good info at the same time without having a bunch of at that moment strangers telling you how bad your choice was and to fix fix fix.

Just a suggestion.

Jayke Watson
@jayke-watson
4 years ago
118 posts
I'm with Taye and Raf on this one, sometimes the advice is very intense and sudden like 5 minutes after people joined they're told everything they're doing wrong and that their hair is horribly damaged and while I know everyone is just trying to help, maybe just point them to the dreaducation section and make sure they feel comfortable asking questions. And I know this might get me on the wrong side of people but I think if people want to use wax or crochet or anything and they fully understand the risks (presented to them in a totally friendly and non bias way) then who are we to tell them their dreads are inferior? I look at it in the same way as the people that tell us that dreads will 'make you look ugly' or 'people will think you're a dirty stoner', we resent being told that and I'm sure the people that come onto this site choosing to use alternate methods to natural feel similar and o think it's our job to provide a friendly and loving community for everyone with dreads, regardless of their reasons for dreading and the methods they use.
taye
@taye
4 years ago
836 posts

I know you guys...I read your words. I know all of the good intentions. I think it is very important for us to be here. I am not trying to be argumentative. I respect and care about each and every one of you. I agree with the views on this site. Just adding my 2 cents into Baba's post. I just don't necessarily think that it makes someone feel welcome when they join and are automatically bombarded. Like I said....they do not know you...they can not hear your voice. What may sound compassionate and informative to you may sound judgmental to the new member reading it.

Kelsey Cliche!
@kelsey-cliche
4 years ago
122 posts
I agree with Taye. No one ever likes to hear that they're wrong about anything. A welcome and a mention of the dreaducation page is plenty for newcomers that haven't posted anything yet other than their profile. Not a "Welcome...but you did it wrong." Even if it's sincerely to help them, it does not come off that way. Sometimes I avoid commenting on posts from newer people that have crocheted or waxed because I know they're going to get blasted and I don't want to overwhelm them further. They'll figure it out soon enough and will ask questions when they're ready to hear the answers. Thanks for the post Baba!
the Barrellady
@the-barrellady
4 years ago
1,302 posts

I am glad I brought this post up to the front. First time I read it was tonight and he made it October 2012. I know that I had good intentions always, but did not see it from another point of view. I thank you too Baba Fats......peace to all

Ojas Acharya
@ojas-acharya
4 years ago
173 posts

Thank u for this post baba. very thoughtful of u to start this. n i am sorry to anyone whom i might have offended in any way. it was absolutely unintentional.. peace :)

 
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