The Demon Drink
We all make excuses for our behaviors, but if its excessive, id say its problem. U may think ur not an alcoholic, but ur addicted to alcohol. Dont wanna tell u what to do, but im assuming since u made it public, u wanted unbiased views from strangers. Saying ur not an alcoholic sounds like denial, and the mere fact that you make provisions to have it once a week, or one drink every 4 hours, means u need it in ur life enough that you make these provisions. If u werent addicted or an alcoholic you wounldnt keep count of when u drank last. Ill drink here n there, but never to get drunk or be social. I drink a glass of sangria at a restaurant cuz i like the taste, and because i am a husband and father n im usually driving thats all ill have with my meal. I can sympathize with you because i also have an addictive personality, i either hate something or i love it, theres really no in between with me. This is why ive never smoked weed, cuz i know i could become addicted. I understand ur feeling of not wanting to join AA, but if u cant do it on ur own, then maybe being around others that are going through the same and have successfully quit wouls help. Maybe you couls start ur own ssupport group? Maybe find some folks n meet weekly, more as a group of support friends as opposed to being under the AA umbrella. Dont mean to preach to you bro, just my humble opinion. Bless.