Forum Activity for @rude-bwoy

Long Emotional rant, not 100% dread related.

General Talk

Well, beyond anything else. I greatly appreciate your response and see the value in the words of your response. I also, can relate to that life, and those decisions whole heartedly, because money never held value to me beyond survival and making other people happy.

I honestly view my future to be similar to the past you just mentioned, my main uncertainty, is can I survive a freezing cold winter living in the woods, with little to no previous survival knowledge.

I didn't really need a program. I turned my life around on my own. It just didn't work for me, I was a stay at home, dad for 3 or so years, after leaving my insane childrens mother. I was only able to see them on weekends.

Swiftly, and abruptely without notice, their mom mysteriously disappeared. I had no number, no address, no anything.

Initially I thought, the child support stuff would work it all out. I would get my visitation of my kids, which is all I really cared about. However, she was allowed to decline mediation of this situation, and I was backed in to this corner of 'You cant file for REAL court ordered visitation without an address, and its illegal for us to give it to you" regardless of the fact, they have no problem sending her my money, they refuse to send her visitation paper work. The reason I bring this up is because of the following.

Come from a long life of criminal activity, I never really saw a place for me amongst the working class. However, the situation above, spiraled me in to an aggressive goal oriented mode, where I strived my best to achieve a position where I could live comfortably.

Needless to say, I worked my way up to an 18$ an hour position, basically managing a warehouse, more money then I would have ever thought I could make legally. I saw hope, I saw acceptance, I thought even though my soul would suffer conforming to the slavery we call american society, I would be able to afford a lawyer, and get to see my kids again, and set a positive image for them to follow.

This is where the system had worked its hands so far around my throat, there was really no hope in breathing.

In my typical 40 hour work week, making 18 $ an hour...I would bring in roughly 100$ a week...100$...Of course at least half of that is going to go gas and food...It just didn't leave room to save money for a lawyer, to have a house payment, to have car insurance, etc.

I'll touch more on it in a second, someone is yelling at me to come help them with somethin so I gotta cut my reply short temportarily.

Needlesss to say I have almost given up.

Long Emotional rant, not 100% dread related.

General Talk

If you want to avoid the non thought provoking part of this, skip down to the line I made. (This is really long, and not really "dread" related, outside from this journey is what is allowing me to re-attach to my spiritual side. Or at least provoking greater growth I had never fully disconnected. But with every new milestone, every time my soul grows in passion, my life grows twice as much in difficulty. I am aware, evil takes its ugliest form, at the times you become the most positive, as to try and break your spirit and keep you from finding a better path, to make being a loving caring person seem like a negative thing.)

So as I question my future, with the uncertainty if I will be able to keep up with this society, or if I will have to force myself to go to jail, just to have somewhere to rest my head at night. I also like to rant about the currently folkery of the average American person.

I know, no one here gives 2 craps about me, or how I feel about life. But oh well, odds are I won't be alive, or at least I wont have the ability to access the internet here in the up coming months. Only time will tell.

Looking back, there are some people whom I wish I didn't let off easy. People who I wish I would have punished, be it death, or a non fatal bullet wound. Honestly, sometimes I feel like the wrath of god, is the only way to break people out of the way they think today. Like you have to break someone down to the point of begging for mercy in order for them to be humble. (That might sound weird, but having used to retaliate with drive bye shootings etc. Its hard for me to accept the instances where I had grown soft, and let someone get away with robbing me with no retaliation, because I let my emotions get in the way.)

_________________________________________________________________________

I wish I was the type of person who could put my own luxuries over other peoples necessities. If I could order Chinese food twice a week, go to the barber shop whenever I wanted to, and still be able to tell my old friends I'm struggling to bad to be able to spend time with you guys, or to help you out when you need it.

I wish I was the type of person, who could replace real friendships, with the average everyday work relationship, and create the illusion for myself that the people around me actually care about me.

I wish I could accept grimey people, as my best friends, while throwing away the people who actually care about me, just because they are who is currently around the most. While over looking their selfishness.

I don't know why I can't be as shallow as the average person, I'd be much happier that way.

Its a cold hard life when you don't live in the fairy tale of your own imagination, and you don't decide how you feel based on what the easy way out is.

Its weird when, you let someone you don't really like get away with something you should have killed them for, out of respect for someone who you do care abouts feelings, yet that situation creates a breaking point in the relationship, where your 'friend' decides, it would be easier to walk over you such as he see's other people do, when they start to view you as a push over, just because out of respect for them you stayed silent on a certain issue.

I'm pretty sure, even white lies won't help anyone when judgement comes. If your unable to be honest and realistic, I'm not sure where you might end up. People need some serious meditation, I fail to see how the human race could have devolved to people who are lacking of love and emotion, who's cellphones mean more to them then friends. Babies quit being an object of effection and love, and become a tool to use as an extension of yourself, who only really cares about showing other people what you got. (Don't get me wrong, Its 100% ok to try to make your kid superfly and show them off. The statement is deeper then that)

These are things that all of us deal with, but only some of us care about and try to change. It saddens me to see the lack of caring and spirituality in people these days, I guess we all could blame the world for causing the disconnect, but how much value does that really hold?

Can you really say "Oh well I went through some bad things!." so its ok for me to not really care about anyone else outside of surface value or what they can bring to the table today.

Even if I don't make it, even if I died tomorrow homeless huddled under a bridge of starvation. I still feel like I am 100 times more of a man then you superficial material people who make $800 a week, and don't really care about anything besides yourself.

Also, I have been on both sides of the fence. I have severed several relationships with people I shouldn't have, just because it was less of a convienence to try to hold on. I have turned my back on or pushed myself away from many people who love me,and would still love me to this day had I not distanced myself.

Can I honestly blame my dads death and emotional spiral in to 'forcing' me to do this, NO. And even if I was going to try to blame that, its not ok to continue on living that way. It was never 'OK' for me to sever ties with family, to avoid family completely so I wouldn't have to think about my life, or my old memories, because you know what. I was still holding on to 'friendships' I was still surrounded by 'friends' who's numbers got suprisingly 'thin' as my pockets became less able to support the group...

I am guilty of all the things listed above, throwing away the people who DO love me, because it was easier to keep around the people who I saw everyday, and pretended to be my friends. I don't want to influence anyone to change, I don't want to pretend to be perfect or exempt from these curses of materialism myself. All I want to do is acknowledge them, and them make the necessary changes to better myself. And you know what, I CAN DO THAT, BECAUSE IM NOT SET ON PRETENDING IM PERFECT AND TRYING TO IMPRESS EVERYONE ELSE. I CAN ACCEPT MY FLAWS, I CAN SHOW THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE, HELL, OTHER PEOPLE CAN TELL ME SOMETHING I AM DOING WRONG WITHOUT ME SAYING "OMG YOU DONT THINK IM PERFECT FUCK YOU!!!"

I know this holds little to no relevance to everyone on this website. And some things I said may be contraversial, especially the ones that touch on how I used to conduct my own life. May make me seem bad or evil myself, but I never really had I'll intentions, ever. I never wanted to be the best, to reach a plateu beyond everyone else...That was never my motivation, even in my darkest times, when I may have been committing 'evil acts'

In those times, I honestly felt like I was sacrificing my own pureness, like I was damning myself to hell if you would, through my actions, in order to put food on the table for other people. I was able to scapegoat myself a reason to do the things I used to do.

And as soon as I quit risking my life needlessly for other people. They all disappeared. Being just 'Me' wasn't good enough for people to want to maintain a relationship with me.

updated by @rude-bwoy: 02/14/15 10:00:25AM

I think a lot of people struggle with this, at one point or another. Be it appearance related or otherwise.

Beauty is subjective...You can't convince someone a ruby is better looking then a diamond or vice versa, they will like what they will like.

You CAN question rather or not that is how she really feels, or if that is how Big Brother America has taught her to feel. Its mind control really, I had someone recently trying to be-little me for growing dreads.

Its just like "yeah ok, meanwhile you keep trying to look like george bush, obama, and all the other people you claim to hate, and it doesn't bother me at all, but of course if I choose to grow my hair like Jesus, or various or religious figures its an issue."

Its kind of sad when people think its ok that anything out of the normal is considered wrong, weird, bad etc. Like we get 5 different style choices that america says are 'ok.' anything outside of those hair/clothes/speech wise etc. is considered wrong and taboo, you will be outcast if you don't look like the rest of the sheep!!

Ok I guess I'm ranting, but long story short. Do what makes you happy, but dont let your mothers judgement of your appearance get in the way or your relationship or feelings for you. If your heart/spirit/soul whatever is free, or so you say, then you should be able to accept her with this flaw for the sake of a loving relationship. This is why I like REAL Rasta culture...They are not going to debate the differences in religion or culture, so much as celebrate and spread love based on what they can agree on.

How to respond to people's reactions

General Questions

I notice I get a lot of weird looks from people, and its funny cause my hair doesn't look THAT bad yet however the top looks like a completely messy horse maine...Lol

Just today I was walking around Kroger, I had several people give me the double look. But to my surprise most of the woman who took a second look and made a weird face, then looked at me and smiled flirtatiously.

I think its partially because I am doing my own thing with confidence. The way I am carrying myself, I got the energy that I feel and look good. So when people look they go UGH WTF E....Aw he's kinda cute I guess. Hahaha

If you are walking around trying to lurk in the shadows, and turning your head away when someone looks at you, of course evil will feed off of that weakness. Hold your head up and let these fools know god made you look that way, they will then have no choice but to respect your confidence, or attack you out of jealousy.

Just keep your hair smelling nice, and when people hate on your or say its dirty, offer them a smell and feel test vs their own hair. And see who wins.

please!!! vote my photos!!!

General Talk

Even though pugs are fugly I will vote for you!

Tying hair up/pony tail during during early stages of neglect method.

Introduce Yourself

Muchas Gracias

Tying hair up/pony tail during during early stages of neglect method.

Introduce Yourself

Not trying to hijack the thread, but in regards to starting the dread process. But this thread made me think.

What about wearing regular hats? I know skull caps and tams are ok when you are already dreaded, but for some ole nub like me who does not have dreads yet, does wearing a normal hat hurt or help the process? I got one of those animal hats, Its like a wolf head winter hat type deal, not sure what its made out of would those be cool to wear instead of a beenie or tam? Really don't think those would fit me to well XD

Also when I get out of the shower, should I be drying my hair with a towel as usual, or just let it

the Barrellady said:

tying up your hair with your hair is okay, it does not cause pressure points and is gentle. It is when a tight scrunchie or anything along that line is used, and is tight, that will cause problems down the road, unseen right now.

Reggae lover said:

I have to tie it up for sports practice. I try to just do a single knot, but sometime i have to do double since it keeps falling out.

Newbie, Questions Included!

Introduce Yourself

I see, thanks for the reply.

I was just posting to you in one of your other threads that 99% of the information I took from the internet on this topic that I considered to be valid all came from post YOU made on these forums.

Also, I like the way your dreads look, they look semi maintained and reasonable, a good medium which Is what I wanted. I just didn't want to be forced to have a certain thickness or style.

Your dreads look really good, long natural, and none really seem 'out of place' good to know you can kind of separate them as they grow naturally. I really just want to be able to keep them from getting overly thick or all dreading together.

Perfection, or them all being the exact same size is not really a goal. But I want to still feel like I have hair that flows and moves instead of just a giant ball on my head...If that makes sense.

I guess it will take awhile before I have anything to show since my hair is only a couple inches. Guess the best way to go is just leave it alone. I suppose its long enough now not to brush anymore and we will see what happens.

During daily showering through out the process, do you avoid getting the hair wet all together, or is it only important not to comb/use products?

Also, can you pull thick dreads apart in to thinner dreads? Or do you just have to keep them from dreading together?

Probably a stupid question. x.x

Will possibly try to take pics to upload of the process for future newb's who are contemplating natural vs. other methods.

Newbie, Questions Included!

Introduce Yourself

So, a couple years ago I had done some reading into the idealism behind dreadlocks in various cultures and religions. I was intrigued and also thought they were cool looking and had decided to grow my hair out.

Long story short, I had to cut and shave for a job, never having gotten around to putting dreads in.(Or having the knowledge to do so, however you look at it) Anyways, I have since broken free from the mind control of modern society and began to "Do Me" again.

I have some questions about the natural method of locking.

In general, is it possible to form smaller 'cleaner' nice looking dreads through natural methods? If so, how much more/less complicated are they to keep and maintain?

I deleted most of this post to make less reading, and I expect to get flamed when I say this. :-/ (Sorry trying to make it shorter and easier to understand, I have no personal issue with any style of dreads or hair, but I think certain ones would look horrible on me, and not fit my personality.)

But when I look at some of the "TimeLines" on here. That is exactly what I do NOT want my hair to look like. I guess I would not mind it temporarily some of them seem to be over a year + in to the natural process and they still have hair that hardy really resembles dreadlocks, looks more just like dirty unwashed curly hair.

Will these peoples hair eventually look good, or always just nappy/oily/curly? Do they choose to keep it that way?

My hair is only 2-3 inches right now, contemplating the natural method vs. some that people do not seem to like.

Basically I do not want to have the "Side Show Bob" style dreads that are random sizes and places. Is it possible to section/maintain natural dreads!?

I know this sounds cliche, but I am using it for convenience. Can get "Lions Mane" style dreads starting from natural? Or will I be forced to have "Hobo Rockstar" dreads?

Also, I have rather straight & thick hair. How bad would it be to start using interlocking, and then cut the interlock parts off once developed. Would that be a better way to maintain size/shape?

updated by @rude-bwoy: 01/13/15 09:52:33PM

Racist dreadlocks page with SE in it

General Talk

I got $10 that says he probably had some salon dreads thatended up falling out, or getting ruined due to products/mold.

Now, I am not in the least bit racist. And I have lived with & around African American people my whole life.

Am I the only person who wants to point out that his 'culture' has some of the worse hair care habits known to man?

I have seriously questioned people, as to rather or not most black woman have short hair naturally, or if the bad ways they 'take care of it' over the course of thousands of years has caused it to ruin and be like that.

I have seen white girls & the mother of my kids actually. Who grew up around mainly black people just like me.(Just to reiterate, Aside from my mom. My closest friends, or as I would call brothers are black.)

She did stupid stuff like using an Iron on her hair, crappy productsetc. growing up, because she was learning the stereotypical hair care procedures africanpeople use.

Needless to say it made her hair frizzy and crappy. And coming from the ghetto, people just joke around "Oh your a white girl with black girl hair!." No...She ruined her hair the same way you do following your stupid ways...

I have seen plenty black woman with long beautiful hair, but guess what. They don't follow the traditional ignorant ways of their culture...

I don't know if people just don't realize you can get dreads naturally? Or they actually think that using products and twisting their hair constantly is a good thing?

But if I was going to copy hair care/a hair style/ or techniques from 1 culture directly. I'm not going to pick the one that has the most harmful and stupid practices...

I think the reason most of these people post these kind of racist topics, is because they are mad that they started their dreads using horrible unnatural methods, andeventuallyended up having to shave their heads to look like Obama or George bush. So the get mad/jealous at the people who DONT practice those non-natural methods, and can actually grow and keep beautiful, healthy hair. (Most black people with dreads, and I am only really referring to american ones all have fake salon dreads,Most white people with dreads again Americans, are hippie/all natural types...So I could see where jealousy would pop up in certain people.)

Again, I am not racist. But I just think that in general, the African Culture has the absolute worse habbits when it comes to maintaining hair, and I can't see why anyone would copy that...

Not to mention, as far as I know. Dread locks didn't become a real part of the 'black power movement.' oreven a concrete part of 'rastafarianism' until recent history...When your talking about something as old as humanity its self(dreadlocks), why should we be restricted by the meaning it took on in the last couple hundred years?

Not to mention the black power movement is no different then the K-K-K and I don't respect or acknowledge racist power groups. And I can't picture any ->Real<- genuine loving caring rasta being offended by non-black people wearing dreadlocks...

One more thing I will point out, Notice that he only focused on white people...Doesn't mention any asian people with dreads spanish peopleetc. Because his post actually had nothing to do with dread locks. It was all about how white people are born with silver spoons and no grasp of reality.

I got 2 replies to that.

1. That is not true for all white folks.

2. Buddah was born with a silver spoon too, a prince in a sheltered life...

edit: I want to say this also. If this guy was basing his decision off of white people who do crochet hook dreads. I would agree 100% with him, they look stupid as can be...But that doesn't make it wrong imo...

Actually, I think all of the pictures he posted aside from 2 or 3 actually do look pretty bad, theyeven look like they are fake or started fake to me =/. I wont say which ones for 2 reasons.

1. I don't want to offend anyone.

2. Beauty is subjective. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean they don't.