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Just plain mean

DreadfulAmenita
@taby
4 years ago
80 posts

I came across that statement early in my dread process and felt really discouraged at first. I was really sensitive at first, sometimes even searching out negative ideas of dreads online and afraid to walk outside without them covered in case someone might say something hurtful. But after a while, I started going outside without the hat, and soon I was forgetting I even had dreads. NO one has said a word to me about them, good or bad. Now, after a few months I'm feeling more comfortable with myself and how I look with my baby dreads, I don't think I'd feel as upset if someone told me they didn't like them. (I think I'd be hurt if a bunch of people pointed and laughed, but that would hurt me no matter what. That's just rude to do to anyone if you're over the age of 3.) This kind of statement doesn't rub me as raw as before. I know my dreads will never look like a black person's dreads. Personally, I think their dreads are so beautiful and smooth, and I don't expect mine to look like theirs. But I'm not trying to be rasta. I've never been to Jamaica, and I don't personally like the rasta colors or listen to reggae music, though I have so much admiration for Bob Marley as I've learned more about him.

Everyone's got an opinion. Sometimes I wish they'd keep them to themselves more often. I know my family thinks dreads don't look great on caucasians, they're just polite enough to say, "Ahhh... yeah, they look... nice on you." :) It's nice that they are able to keep the negative comments to themselves, but that's only because they know and love me. I think a girl shaving half of her head and dying the rest purple at age 40 and 40 lbs overweight looks kind of silly. :) Then I think about what she might think about my hair. Dreads have made me a bit less judgmental, but I still have some negative opinions about others' styles. What this guy wrote is rude, and I think he took his opinion to some really cruel places, but I'm not trying to steal anything from the black style. I started mine, because I actually love the look of caucasian dreads! I know a lot of people don't like them, but it's my hair. And that makes my hair all the more fun and exciting to me.


updated by @taby: 07/23/15 06:31:24PM
Kato
@kato
4 years ago
19 posts
i found the comment when my dreads first started, and i just thought that person was a douchebag! when i think of the kind of dread i like african people dont come to my mind rather spiritual indian men! so i guess everyone has their own view on what cool dreads are!
ToTheAnkles!
@totheankles
4 years ago
102 posts
It's not racism. It's criticism. If you are a white person and you have never been to Africa then you haven't been the target racism. Even implying this is offensive to people who actually deal with racism their entire life.Most people know exactly what the guy is talking about. I'm sure many people here do aswell, because you have to understand it in order to be offended by it. The picture he described is crystal clear in my mind, and I can immediately spot when I see one of those "types".We can get all cuddly wuddly PC but someone is free to think you look ridiculous. They are also free to tell you in your face or write an article about it and put it on the internet. It's just a funny (well I thought it was funny) and slightly inaccurate article. And I happen to think many black women with relaxed hair look bad. I have no idea what that particular person's natural hair would look like, but I know the whole relaxing looks ridiculous to me. I don't feel the need to tell them this in their face or to write an article about it and put it on the internet, but if I would that wouldn't be racist regardless of what people would say about it.9 out of 10 times a black person will look very good with neglect dreads. For white people it's hit or miss. This is what the author meant.The stereotyping of dreads is no fun to deal with, but it isn't racism. You make a choice about your appearance and appearances affect how people percieve you. They will think you smoke pot, eat organic, are unemployed, a vegetarian or vegan, promiscuous, dirty and generally easy going and relaxed. Without dreads people assume I am allergic to animal products. With dreads they figure out rather quickly that I am a vegan. It's just the way it is.
ToTheAnkles!
@totheankles
4 years ago
102 posts
Wanting to cut off someone's hair is not racist. And saying straight hair belongs to white people would be as incorrect as saying dreads belong to black people. Actually it's more incorrect. Straight hair "belongs" to black people. Virtually all human physical attributes "belong" to black people because all humans descended from black ancestors. The genetics for straight hair come from black people.And minor vs major was not the point, it just isn't racist to say you think certain hair choices don't look good on certain races and that was the whole argument of the letter.Your example is completely different. "Black people aren't ALLOWED to straighten their hair". That sounds very different to the letter which basicly states "White people can't pull off dreads and should choose another hairstyle so they don't look like tools", now doesn't it?
Joshua Perez
@joshua-perez
4 years ago
11 posts

Word Java your right about that. Bob this rasta that. I love it when white folks rock the rasta gear. Not knowing a damn thing. But The history of dreads go waayyyy furthur than rasta. The dude who posted this has some points. A few good ones a few One sided opinionated points. Its what 2013 or something. Get over dude. Dreads may be mostly associated with balck folks but so was Hip-hop. Hell even Rock n Roll. Not so much anymore.

taye
@taye
4 years ago
836 posts

Bravo Noodle-Doo!! Very well said. Buttrulymy biggest issue with the article/letter is the lastsentence. Cutting someone's hair is an act of violence. It is considered an assault. Because of this letter...I am going to pay way more attention to who is sitting behind me on the bus. This has given me a fear that I have never had before. That was a serious threat and it gives other people with his mind setsimilarideas. Just because someone does not like my hair does not give them ANY right to threaten to cut it....just like it does not give anyone who does not like my clothes the right to tear them from my body.

JavaLizard
@javalizard
4 years ago
89 posts

How can it be racist if everyone thinks that way? Most white people I know feel the same way as this guy. My Father in law, an ex black footed hippie, thinks this guy is spot on, though cutting someones hair without consent is wrong.

@ ToTheAnkles and Joshua Perez

It isn't about sides, but thank you for trying to offer the median view point as well.

As much as we want people to accept us for who and what we are however we wish to express that we must still live in social responsibility. People are totally pissed about this, but how is this different than everyone hates blacks sagging, or now laws preventing sagging?One group primarily sags, and every rags on them for it. But that isn't racist to most people. In this guys opinion he was stating that, to him, whites shouldn't dread.

hair envy example Byonce. Horrible, talk about not knowing history, try growing up told your skin color is evil, that you are not pretty because your hair is kinky, no barbie dolls look like you, no disney princesses look like you. Black women are not trying to look white! They are stuck in a society that declares their natural state as ugly, they just simply want to be beautiful. According to social norms.

We want to fit in and be acceptable. I have met many professional blacks with dreads, they wear suits, their dreads are tight and nice looking. I've not met any other race that fits that description. Most others I meet are hippy looking, and I know the natural dread process and all, but in truth it does not look good socially. And being able to accept that is one thing, that your hair may just not look good. But expecting others to be all loving about it, not going to happen. And to me honestly they look dirty, does that mean I won't accept them or talk to them? Nope, do I think less of them? Nope. Can I see beyond the stereotype? Yes and no, it is always there I just chose to move beyond it.

Now let's see if we could draw parallel racist statements. Blacks shouldn't dye their hair blonde, it doesn't look right and it is silly... wait not racist just an opinion.

What makes it appear racist is that he says all white people, in my first comment I stated that all black, mexican, asian people may not look good in a certain style. With taking what he is saying at face value ... I give up,If you find this letter racist, sorry. I've talked to 20 people and shared this post and they all think both parties are silly, but side with the person writing the letter. They think he has a valid point of those types, and thinks people declaring racist are overboard.

Noodle-Doo

I'm sorry you don't understand I am not defending the latter as in saying he is right, I am saying his perspective is quite normal and isn't racist. I am shocked that in this forum adults are telling kids to tell their parents to fuck off, or telling spouses to do what they want. If dreads are to be loving and open people keeping peace should be a big thing. And when you don a particular lifestyle you must be ready to face those consequences. Being open minded is one thing, doing your research another. But expecting the world to have the same values and concepts that you do is not just. Most people still believe everything they see and hear on the TV, to tell them that they are wrong and get all pissed off when they give off the rhetoric shows that we, yes we, are the ones who still need to deepen. Obviously he doesn't know dread history, duh. So why get pissed when he is making a social commentary?

JavaLizard
@javalizard
4 years ago
89 posts

It was not a literal threat, would you feel that way if the person who wrote the article was white?

taye said:

Bravo Noodle-Doo!! Very well said. Buttrulymy biggest issue with the article/letter is the lastsentence. Cutting someone's hair is an act of violence. It is considered an assault. Because of this letter...I am going to pay way more attention to who is sitting behind me on the bus. This has given me a fear that I have never had before. That was a serious threat and it gives other people with his mind setsimilarideas. Just because someone does not like my hair does not give them ANY right to threaten to cut it....just like it does not give anyone who does not like my clothes the right to tear them from my body.


updated by @javalizard: 07/23/15 07:42:21AM
Tim5
@tim5
4 years ago
359 posts

Will you start looking around at skin color, or shifty eyes or ?????

I think you will be ok

peace

taye said:

..I am going to pay way more attention to who is sitting behind me on the bus. This has given me a fear that I have never had before.

taye
@taye
4 years ago
836 posts

It was a generalized threat to any "white" person with dreads sitting in front of this guy. I don't care what color he is....a threat is a threat. What is important here is that this guy has such strong feelings about someone else's body that he would make such a statement. Personally I don't care what someone else thinks about me. It is his issue....not mine. If he spends that much time criticizing the way people look.....he isn't the kind of person that I care to have around me. His letter made me giggle til I saw that last line.....then I took it very serious. There have been several instances in the Caribbean islands recently where people have been followed out of bars and had their dreads cut off. We even had a post about it in this forum. It is a physical assault. It is an act of violence. Judging people based on hair just makes him an ass but when someone puts into writing a threat it then becomes dangerous and it makes it real whether he meant it to be or not. And no Tim..I won't be looking at shifty eyes or skin color lol I will just make sure that my hair is pulled over my shoulder so that whoever is sitting behind me will not have access to it. :)

 
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