What do you do if...

What do you do if people in your life react negatively to your decision to dread?

My mom wasn't happy when I told her...so unhappy, in fact, that she told me she wouldn't come visit me any more if I dreaded. Tomorrow is day 7 of no brushing, and instead of being happy, I'm sad and stressed out. The 'what if's are getting me. What if everyone hates me? What if I really can't get my career going with dreads? What if I look horrible?

What if what if what if...

Has anyone else felt this way? What did you do about it?

Thanks!

Love,

Bonnie

updated by @sadangel777: 02/14/15 09:15:01AM

my mom said the same thing then i dealt with 15 years of everyuy conversation turnuing to when are u gouing to cut those and everytime i looked her way shed make scissor motions with her fingers..then 1 day we were at the mall xmass shopping and a really conservative old woman (must have been 80) came up raving bout how shed never seen hair as beautiful as mine..that day ended 15 years of her avoiding going places with me and i realized what it was she was worried how it would make her look as a mom but the 1st time she say ppl admired dreads not just thought they were a sign of a worthless bum it completely changed her attitude..so basicly the kety to dealling with yout mom is to show her ppl admire dreads and admire parents openminded enough to let theyre kids dread as well as show her sucess and happiness is possible with dreeads, shes probly looking at dreading as you throwing your life away givuing up on carreers turning away from things they expect of youif she sees your still the same person still lookimng forward to the same goald just developiong your own expectations different from theyres buty equal, maybe even higherbut in the end its up to her to be willing to understand..if u try to show her why its good for u and she refuses to see then its her fault not yours u did all u canthen u just go on live your life and be happy..let your happiness be the proof that your decisions were right for usrry biut typos kindas typing in my sleep asfgain


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

oh and hope u dont mind a tight reasuring hug..maybe a group hug if anyone else wants to join in


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I'd Love to join in on this ( ( ( (HUG) ) ) ) soaringeagle said:

oh and hope u dont mind a tight reasuring hug..maybe a group hug if anyone else wants to join in

My mother has gone so far as to make comments about my "once beautiful hair"...and I doubt that she will ever change her mind. I had to explain to her that I'm not doing it for the aesthetics, and am instead growing dreads to connect to myself and remind myself what really matters in life. She still can't understand it, as to her, all that really matters is beauty and money... if you don't have those, then you're doomed to a 'sad and lonely life'; pfftt I say... I figure, that's her problem. I love what I'm doing, and I love how I feel while I'm doing it. I think that this is something that everyone in the dreading world has to deal with at one time or another, if only for the fact that dreads are often portrayed by the media as these nasty, stinking mats of hair that only the homeless and drug addicts wear. It's a shame, but there's really very little that we can do about it, save for being kind to those who aren't informed, and informing them if they ask. The dirty looks, snarls, nasty comments... those we still have to deal with. Lucky for us, it only makes us stronger.This also, however, sounds like you really need to sit back and evaluate why you're getting dreads... when you figure that out, hold on to that reason like glue. Let it keep you smiling through all the bad, all the negative. Within my first week of dreading, I had a homeless man stop me on the street and ask me why I would want to do that to my hair... he told me that it looked like caked in shit in my pretty red hair. Once again my response was " well then it's a good thing I'm not doing this for the way it looks huh?" He was incredibly confused...Keep your chin up sweetheart. If this is really something you want to do, then ignore the nay-sayers and better yourself!

Thank you so much for all your support - it means a lot to me! (((HUGS)))

i know u can always count on us to support u


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

i delete all contact with people who refuse me for who i ameven if it was my family, sometimes we have to cut off contact from negative psychic drains on your emotions

oh man u have no idea the hell i went through with my father over getting dreadlocks, he said that if i got them he would kick me out the house, never speak to me again and bla bla bla. so i just ignored him and thought ull get over it. So i got my dreads one day and came home and he didnt talk to me for about 2 days and then everything was back to normal but like Faelwynn said my family keep making references to my "Once" beautiful hair and i just turn around and say its still beutiful and if u cant see that i feel sorry for you

I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough time of it...I think it is so horrible and mean how people are. My cat loves me no matter what I look like! I'm glad I have this site, and my friend Kim who understands.Peace and Love, Dreads are beautimous! Jack Roth said:

oh man u have no idea the hell i went through with my father over getting dreadlocks, he said that if i got them he would kick me out the house, never speak to me again and bla bla bla. so i just ignored him and thought ull get over it. So i got my dreads one day and came home and he didnt talk to me for about 2 days and then everything was back to normal but like Faelwynn said my family keep making references to my "Once" beautiful hair and i just turn around and say its still beutiful and if u cant see that i feel sorry for you