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So ive had my dreads awhile now and my bangs nor back of my head will not dread. The hole top of hair is dreaded
so im getting to the point of giving up. I love dreads but some reason my head wont finish. Im open to any opions..
I was born and raised in Bakersfield, California until I was 18. I move to Missouri after I graduated from High School to be with my mother. I had lived with my Step-father since I was 13 years old, but now I'm really getting home-sick. I haven't seen any of my friends or other family members for 6 years already. Anyways, that is not why I've been getting home-sick though. I miss being so close to the Ocean and being able to go to the Beach to go surfing. I miss the sand between my toes, the wind blowing through my hair, the sound of the waves. I really miss the rush when I head into the water with my surf board knowing that when I'm out there waiting for that perfect wave before my Step-father will yell it's time to go. While I'm out there just sitting there waiting it gave me the time to think to set my mind free for awhile. The way my spirit just aloud me to be me I can't explain it just made me fell free. I miss it so much.
After testing a variety of shampoo bars I'm starting to think that they aren't for me.
I have tried rubbing the bar directly at the roots, lathering in my hands applying to roots only ( which was great and set off a flare up of my eczema, my hands hate any change), rubbing the bar all over, etc etc.
It makes hair just too oily no matter what I do. After washing my hair with a natural shampoo bar, after it dries it looks like I haven't washed it for a week.
So my plans now are to use up my bars and really give each one the good old college try and then I will move to the liquid version I see on the dreadlock shampoo site. Hopefully changing the method of delivery will give me results I enjoy more.
I won't be doing a baking soda wash because literally everytime my skin has come into contact with it I've had a horrible reaction and I'd prefer not to be washing my hair and having to wear a hazmat outfit at the same time.
It's all a learning process and I'm kind of entertained. I never planed to be gaining such an intimate knowledge of my hair's likes and dislikes.
To dread or not to dread. I can't say that it was a struggle to make that decision. I've been exposed to dreadlocks, not through any media outlet, but through family and friends. So the decision to dread was a somewhat easy one for me. The how, however, was a more difficult decision. I did all the research I could, asked for advice from current dreadheads, contemplated and thought through my decision. I wanted whatever I chose to be something I was both comfortable with and would stick with.
I chose TnR, because for me, for my hair-type, that method made the most sense. It was, I felt, something I could easily stick with. Even today, three days later, I do not regret my decision. I have found the path for me and I am more than content with my choice.
When I first did it, I wasn't capable of voicing my reasons; it was something my heart understood but which my brain could not adequately convey with words. I contemplated and meditated upon this for three days before attempting this blog. I wanted it to be a heartfelt look into my journey, for myself. Maybe for someone else who has made the decision I did, to dread, for their own personal journey. I have always been good at writing, at conveying words into written -- or typed -- form; this, moreso than pictures which do not adequately convey the inner workings of one on a journey such as I am on, was the most appropriate way to share my journey with others, to record it for posterity's sake.
My reason to dread is really a simple one; I wanted to display an outward change which both kept pace with and reflected the inner change within myself, as a person. As my dreads mature, I hope, so too will I.
I have not always been a good person. I have not always been a kind person. I have never been happy, content with myself, with my life. I have not always been compassionate towards my fellow Man. I have not always been without undue judgement. I have not always had kinds words to say to one who needed them. I have not always had hope, had joy, had faith. I am as vastly imperfect as every other human being, and yet my imperfections were tearing me apart. I did not want to exist. I did not want to continue living. I have tried in the past to stop living. I consider myself lucky, today, that those attempts failed.
My journey, both to dread and inwardly, is to change myself for the better. To find those things that I don't like, to cause change in them, to become the person I want to be, to become the person I want others to see. It's not an easy process. I struggle everyday, with choices, with words... I struggle to feel, to think before speaking. I don't always succeed. Sometimes I fail. I struggle to not let my failures tear me apart, take my faith, destroy my sense of self-worth. I struggle with my patience, both to see the changes inward taking hold.. and now to see my dreads mature as I hope -I- am maturing inside.
I hope that one day I can finally find that person inside whom I've been looking for, striving to become. Just as one day I hope that my dreadlocks will be beautiful, unique. Like I am.
This is a little heavy-handed of a blog, so I think it's time to end it here before anyone who happens to read this decides that I am being disingenuous. This was also a bit hard to write; I'm not really good with bearing my soul to absolute strangers. Be patient with me, I'm still learning and still growing. Just like my dreads are.
