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By Stephani, 2012-04-29
Today I am just drained and mentally exhausted. My brain has so many jumbled up thoughts, that I don't even know where to start this blog at. I apologize ahead of time if this makes no sense. It could quite possibly just end up being a crazy rant of sorts.
I thought my mom would have no problem with my dreads. My whole life she's known what a creative spirit I am. She has always been my biggest supporter, and never let me down. So I didn't think to ask her if she mined if I gave myself dreads. I am 26, a grown women with a husband and a 4 year old son. I have a great job, manage to pay all my bills on time, take care of my family and pets. Basically, I have my stuff together. It wasn't always this way for me, I had a rough childhood and some pretty wild teenage years. My Mom was by my side through all of the hell I put her through, and she always had my back no matter what. Anyway, The night after I did my partial TnR's, I was at work, on a smoke break. My phone started ringing and it was my mom. While chatting a bit about nothing in particular, I mentioned to her that I finally gave myself some dreads, after wanting them for SO long. The other end of the phone became immediately silent. I asked what was wrong, and she said, "you have never disappointed me with anything you've done ever, until now." I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart (I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but really that's how it felt). She then went on to say that she couldn't believe that I would ruin my "beautiful" hair like that. Out of our family my brother and I got the "good" hair, and he shaves his bald. How could I tie mine up in knot's? Anyway, A few days later I asked her to come out to dinner with my son and I. When she saw my dreads, I asked her what she thought. She said they looked okay the way they are, and told me to never dread my whole head. She wanted me to just leave them the way they were with my other hair still not dreaded. Today I went to her house to visit and help out in her yard for a while. I said, I'm going to dread the rest of my head, please understand that this means a lot to me. She basically made me feel like shit. I wont go into any of the details of the words she used because it's really unnecessary, but she ended with, "I will disown you if someone in public asks if you're my daughter". Another stab in the heart, and I was fighting back the tears. Once she realized that I was getting really upset she said "you do what you want, I just don't like them".
I never thought I would be so changed by my dreadlocks. I mean sure, I was expecting to change physically from them, but I never in a million years thought my dreads would change me on the inside. This was something I never could have prepared for. It's like I found myself, who I was always meant to be. I feel so truly happy for once in my life and I can't share that happiness with anyone, because everywhere I turn I havecondescending attitudes and judgmental opinions.
My husband doesn'tnecessarily like my decision to dread, but he would never tell me not to. I know he would rather me not dread my hair, but he wont say the things my mom said. Whether he thinks the same way or not.
I wont take my dreads out just because people I love don't like them. I just wish there was some way to make my mom see past the dreads, and realize that my hair does not make me who I am. I wish she would take a minute to see how truly happy I am, and how comfortable I feel in my own skin now.
The only support I get is from a few girls at work. I just wish more people were open minded.
If anyone has been through something similar, and has any suggestions on how to deal with this, please help me. I love my mom dearly. I don't want to lose her over this, but at this point I can't go back to who I was before, for the sake of myself.
By Cameron Zion, 2012-04-28
This life has definitely be a full journey so far and I am grateful for all of my experiences and enlightenment. I can now see that no matter what we call the higher-power in this life, we all feel the same universal love. No two people see anything exactly the same. So we must all find what works for ourselves as individuals, and keep others thoughts separate from our own. Two people watching a sunset will witness something entirely different, but it's still the sun setting. People seem to be so concerned with those around them and what they choose. If we love ourselves unconditionally we are able to provide the same to those around us. We are all family, any species starts with two. We contain the same energy the same life-force, and it is easily forgotten. The only race that we should keep in mind is the human-race. I hope that you all may find serenity and peace in this life, in whichever way you are able. May you feel the beauty in the day, for not all of us may see it. Jah Bless. - Cameron
By Kasa, 2012-04-28
By pyrobud, 2012-04-27
well a few months ago my girlfriend finally had the courge to let her hair be natural. so she shaved off all her hare to get rid of the chemical filled hair. and i was wondering if there was a way to combine her old hair into mine cause, to make her fell better about her decion i told her that i would do that so she could be with me as long as i had my dreads. now i feel that i could try doing it now that my dreads are more mature. but i was dubting it would work because it was over prosseded hair
By Stephani, 2012-04-27
I'm so glad I finally decided to dread. My hair rats so easily. If I would flatiron it and leave it straight, or curl it and let it be free, it didn't matter. After 2 hours it would be one big rat ball anyway. I really do not miss trying to brush out that mess all day everyday. It's so nice to not worry if people can see the rats nest that is forming at the nape of my neck. Instead I have no worries, and get compliments on my little rat snakes now haha I love my dread babies. I will never miss my brush.
By Mary White, 2012-04-27
I bought the wrap from a dreadhead on here, and the Tam on Etsy.. I no longer have dreads (caused too many headaches) and now have very short hair...
Would like to pass on the beautiful wares.
I still love dreads, but I can't wear them..
Tam is mossy earthtones, adjustable and can fit short to long dreads - worn twice- asking $15 + Shipping
Wrap is a beautiful golden yellow and brown, quilted look, braided ends... Gorgeous... best for long thick dreads - $15 + Shipping
BOTH for $30 Shipping paid.
email- firstname.lastname@example.org if interested!!!! I don't know if I will still get notifications from this site!
By kendra hutchinson, 2012-04-27
Wow. Dreadlocks... For me, it really is a journey, not so much about the the dreads themselves or my hair or whatever. I am beginning this journey after years of being unable to accept myself, as myself. As a woman, it has been very difficult dealing with society's views on beauty.
When I was younger, in high school, I was always busy with schoiol functions, debate, theater, dances, sports, and I worked 2 jobs.. Then, a few years later, I got married. Getting married followed with having our two kiddies who are now 2 and 1. In the past 4 years, I have completely lost myslef. My body has changed significantly, and I've become the complete opposite of who I used to be. My dreadlock journey is symbolic for me as a physical part of my journey to slef love and acceptance. Life should be what I want it to be not what everyone else wants it to be... I hope that with time I will learn to love ME and be able to truly not care what that lady in Wal-Mart was thinking when she gave me that mean look.. I don't want to beat myself up about it anymore. I want to be free.
So as my locs begin to grow from this frizzy heap of a mess into something healthy, natural, and beautiful, I hope that that transformation will lead my soul as well.
I don't know if that makes any sense really when put into words, but it works in my head.. Which is what matters to me!
By Valérie, 2012-04-27
I have finally come around to starting a blog post to keep track of my current dread journey.
First, I must kick off this journey with what my locks looked like prior to dreadlocking:
As you can see, I have pretty wavy hair.
I made the decision to twist and rip my hair on April 13, 2012. I really don't like brushing my hair anyway and, having it this long for the first time in a VERY long time was causing me all kinds of issues. Anyway, I decided to go with tnr because my hair (lower back) tended to mat in a giant ball every single day and I had to pick at it to get it loose regularly. I felt it would save me the anguish of dealing with the bber felted ball that would result if I went completely neglect... so I twist and ripped for a little direction and left it alone to do it's thing.
My weekly hair maintenance (for the record and those who care to know) consists of:
- Dr. Bronner's liquid soap (in lavender and/or tea tree) diluted with water 1/12, or
- Baking Soda 1/3 - 1/2 cup, lavendar/tea tree oil 20 drops, rosemary oil 20 drops, gallon of water This was not so great for me, imo.
- Apple Cider Vinegar (just a splash), gallon of water, same parts of the aforementioned oils, glob of aloe juice
- For flyaway control I lightly use Aloe Vera Gel
- Sea Salt Water spray the night before each washing
Now, I wash every 2 - 3 days alternating between no. 1 and 2, followed up with no. 3.
So, from this point onward, I am going to update my journey by posting comments. I can't change the chronology though so the top-most comment is the most latest (a bit backwards, I know. but I am not really sure how else I should do this...)
Happy reading and BB!
By pyrobud, 2012-04-26
So i made it past da one year mark so i guess the hard part is behind me. cuz i no i felt like giving up a long time ago but not now after i made it this long id have to be crazy. and i would like to take this time to give thanks to SE and this website cause, without it i probobly would have quit or i would of went the wax route because thats all i knew so to u i am very grateful. and i love my babys more and more every day.
By Stephani, 2012-04-26
While in the shower today, I woke up. Not just in the literal sense, but in the "my eyes have opened to the world" kind of way. I now know that I was meant to be a Cosmetology Educator. I have decided that in July I will go back to school to get my instructing license. I want to educate future hairstylists' the proper, and more updated ways of "doing hair". I want to inspire them, and have them see my passion that I have for this industry. I remember all of my instructors, and only one of them stands out to me as someone who truly was passionate about what she was doing. She inspires me still to this day, and I've not seen her since 2006. I want to be that person, even if for only one student. If I can invoke that kind of passion and love for this business for just one student, then I feel my job would have been worth it.
I went into this career knowing that one day I'd want to teach, but I kept putting it off. I think because of insecurities and what not. Having the experience that I do now, I think I am better educated myself then I was 6 years ago. I am more capable of teaching, and I have more knowledge to share then I ever would've back then.
It's amazing to me how life never takes us the way we think it will. I'm more then happy to roll with it though, and I know whatever happens was because I went into it with a purpose and direction.