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By Tia, 2013-03-22
Wow, when you put it that way... 600 messy, outrageous, bad hair, good hair, untamed, annoying, painful, wonderful days of dread. That makes it seem like it's been much longer than it actually has been. It's been good for me, though. This journey is allowing me to become the person I really have always been inside and only partially shown. Some people have stayed in my life and accepted me for exactly who I am and love me no matter what.... Some have distanced themselves, for what reason I'm still not entirely sure... It's just hair, right? I know some people can't handle my brass confidence and the fact that I truly do not care what others think (aside from my husband. I like to know he loves who I am.).
I had a best friend who I thought I needed at the time. I thought she was good for me. She told me my quirky make-up, different colored hair, mismatched socks, funky clothes, and way of thinking just weren't right. She "taught" me how to do all the "right" things and shook her head at me when I would continuously revert back to my "odd" ways time and again. She even thought I was wrong to be completely alright with being single and possibly never finding my perfect person (the least I could do was settle for now... WTF?!). I realized more than a few years ago that she was the one who was wrong the whole time and I think she knew it, too. She was intimidated by the fact that I was alright being different. So much so that she pecked away at my confidence every chance she got (and damnit, I fucking let her. Still kicking myself in the ass over that one) and made me believe that I was wrong for whatever reason. Life choices I tried making for myself she would belittle them and me, using my doubts against me until I believed what she was saying and changed my mind... every fucking time I was going to succeed at something, she would convince me that it was the wrong thing and that I would fail (which is my biggest fear.).
She moved away to another city, got married, and had a child... And I started hanging around with people who were okay with me being me. It was amazing and refreshing to just be accepted as I was. When she would come back to visit, it would go right back to her convincing me that I did things wrong, and the people I was hanging around with were wrong. And I still hadn't realized that she wasn't all that good for me yet... YET.
There was one good... no great thing that happened to me during this friendship. She decided that I needed to get back on the horse and start dating. So, she set me up with her cousin, whom she thought I could use as a "starter" to get my feet wet. She of course didn't tell either one of us this and figured we'd self-destruct because we are such opposites (him being a Marine and me so wishy-washy) and that when he rejected me for being so different I would see that I needed to go back to being "normal".
It's funny how things backfire in people's faces... Her cousin actually fancied me and I him (before she even considered getting us involved). We are definitely opposites, but what we have works and works really well. So much so that after seven years we still make people want to gag being around us. We have been through some pretty bad things in those seven years and have come out the other end smiling. We take our vows pretty seriously and didn't jump into the marriage part for the hell of it. We're in it for the long haul. My husband encourages me, there's nothing I can't do in his eyes. As independent as I am, he was what I needed (a real best friend) to really make me believe in myself.
I know I'm rambling (I'm on some pretty good pain meds for an injury lol). I just really love the transformation my life is going through. Not all of it has been good, but we are making it work and I am just thankful that he's been by my side through it all.
I'm done rambling and making no sense at all HAHA!
By Tia, 2011-10-02
Two months into this hair journey and I'm still going strong. The frustration I speak of does have to do with my hair, since I am in that stage right now, but it has to do with other things, as well.
Just as Isettled into the "Kramer" stage, along comes another... I am stumped as to what I should call it, actually... I guess the name will come to meafter the nextstage hits lolI didn't take a picture for the last month. I just wasn't up to it, really. My head has been killing me with the itchies, and I have been investigating the reason why... I'll get back to that in a minute. I'm starting back with the pictures this month, though. I'm interested to see what the season changes will bring.
So, my hair is still sticking out all over on the sides, and coming along pretty well. The top is doing pretty good as well, just a little bit of loose hair in the front "bang/fringe" area, prompting the thought of possibly combing the front out for now just to have some bangs for the holiday season, since no one knows I'm doing the dread thing yet. I still haven't combed them out and I'm not sure that I will, either. I have already committed two months to them, I really don't want to back-track on that...
Speaking of back-tracking, that's where I get to the itchies I was speaking of a minute ago and where the most frustration has been for me. First, the back is just not dreading. I thought it was separating for a little while there, but to no avail, it is not. Then I have been battling a case of dermatitis back there as well. I get this a couple times a year, on the exact same strip of scalp everytime.I had added the baking soda/ACV routine and cut my shampoo use in half and at first I didn't think anything of it... Until the back of my head was red, itchy, burning, tender,and bleeding. First I ommitted the acv and nothing got better. Then I ommitted the baking soda and it felt a little better. Since then I've stopped using the bs and acv and my scalp is improving. I guess I'm just not going to be able to use it as I want as few flare ups of that as possible.
I have decided that I do need to make sure that back part is separated properly so I can get to that strip of scalp easily between my dreads because one of the only things that soothes it is antibiotic ointment which is greasy and completely defeats what I am trying to do. So, instead of back combing, which I really don't want to do again to any part of my hair, I have decided to braid the sections around that area and let it dread that way. I can't imagine trying to pick through my dreads to get to the problem area. It hurts/itches so bad when it's happening, I need immediate relief or I'd probably cut my dreads off in that area trying to get to it.
Anyway, enough about my sore head. The flyaways at the front of my hair are definately frustrating as well and really making my hair looka complete mess. Any other time, I wouldn't care, since I mostly stay at home and can cover my head when I go out... But, again, the holidays are coming and I have events to go to and I need to look presentable (I'm always the quirky one in the group no matter what I do, so that's obsolete lol). I guess I have about 6 weeks before there is really anything I need to decide on... So, I won't be combing the bangsout until the day of if I decide to do it. My hair will probably look completely different at that point, so we'll see...
I'll post an updated pic of my hair soon...
By Tia, 2011-08-24
My hair has been pretty "Sonic The Hedgehog" like thus far in my journey. I get up, take pictures and see more of my hair fell out of the backcombing, everything getting messier and messier, and the new little dread babies that are forming where the backcombing has disappeared,and that is completely cool, it's doing it's thing. If I have to go out anywhere, I throw on my hair cover and go, which isn't very often since I work from home.
This morning, when I woke up and took my pictures, I noticed that my hair is quitea bit puffier today. I haven't done anything different to it, same wash routine, same sleeping place,same everything... So, maybe it's just progressed to a new level of dreading? Or undreading... I'm not sure. Maybe it's the changing of the tree colors and the new season approachinghaha!
So, I guess I will embrace the new stage... Good-bye, Sonic... Hello, Cotton Ball... What will you turn into next? I look forward to the continuance of our journey together...