Well, dreading my hair has been the best thing I could've done in terms of my confidence as well as my outlook, patience, etc. It's such a cliche, I know, but it's true, it's helped me a lot. All in things I never expected it to make any difference with. That said, there's one thing it can't really help with, and that's feeling self-conscious over my eczema/sores. I have this huge, deep sore on my forehead at the moment, and I went out today and no-one even looked at me twice. It's a huge relief to feel like I can go out and not be seen like a freak, because although things like that usually don't bother me, it's not particularly pleasant.

Anyway, I went to my nan's house to see her after going out and it was petty busy. My uncle and auntie were there, cousins, one cousin's friend, etc. Everyone was fine, but the friend of one of my cousins just stared at me for literally about thirty seconds. She didn't say a word to me at all, just stared at me. That made me feel really self-conscious. It's annoying, honestly, cos that's what kids do. We're all curious creatures, but kids are the ones that openly stare or say insensitive things. She's a couple of years older than me, so I would've thought she'd have had the maturity to not openly stare at someone without saying anything. At the very least, you can ask about it. But to just stare at someone like they're an outcast is just...rude and insensitive. I don't mind people staring regarding the dreads, cos that's my choice, I love them, so why would their opinion bother me? But this is different because it's not something I choose, it's something out of my control and that I aready feel bad about.

Rant over, basically. I'm not a confrontational person whatsoever, so it's nice to just be able to let it all out on here.

Most of my dreads are quite stiff, and a couple of them have hard spots. I assumed the worst: WAX. So I combed out one of the thin-ish, only half-way dreaded ones out, expecting to see the horrors of waxy remains...but no. There was literally nothing there. So I dunno why they're stiff or anything. Anyway, I decided to comb a couple more out, mostly the ones in the front/middle, because...the ones in the middle are basically forced into sections that don't feel right, and I get the feeling the roots will never tighten in those ones, because they're just too...unnatural, I guess. Plus, the past few weeks I've had the urge to start again using the neglect method, but I love my progress too much. So now I've found a good middle ground, and I'm excited to see the transformation from normal hair to dreads

On a related note, if anyone reading this is early into the dreading process and wants to comb them out and start over, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO IT NOW, DO NOT WAIT. Combing out 8-month old dreads...it took me two hours to comb out each dread, and I have blisters all over my hand. And a headache. I still have one left to comb out, but there are tears in my eyes over the thought of doing that again :\ ah well.

I was just thinking today about the whole meat-eating, vegetarian, vegan thing, and I had this quite interesting thought come to mind. First of all, I'm not bashing anyone's lifestyle choice or beliefs. I think it's worthy of huge respect to make a transition into something different from how you usually live. I have Coeliac disease, and even with my own well-being as motivation, the transition to a gluten-free diet has been very difficult. So...no-one reading this be offended, it's really just something I was thinking of. This doesn't really apply to people who don't eat meat for other reasons, like how we aren't really designed for meat-eating.

Well, I'm not a vegetarian, I eat meat. But I do love animals, hate animal cruelty, the idea of animals suffering, etc. That's a huge reason for people to not eat meat, but the problem is...to survive, you have to eat living things, be it animals, vegetables/fruit, etc. You have to. If the reason for not eating meat is solely because of the pain caused to the animals, then doesn't that mean if you could completely eliminate pain from the equation and kill the animal with 0 pain, it'd be OK to eat? Hypothetically, what if it could be proven that plants do feel pain? Would they be cut from the diet of people with those beliefs too? You'd have to starve just to ensure you don't eat anything that feels pain.

Even that has its own flaw though. If life is bad to take simply because of the suffering caused, then you could kill a human who has that condition where they never experience pain, and that would be morally acceptable. So obviously it's not just the pain factor, it's respect for life itself. But then, plant life is still life. Is it OK to take lives that are so different to our own (plants), but not lives that belong to animals, who are adorable, who have eyes like we do, who we anthropomorphise and see as happy and sad, who feel like we do? We can connect to animals more than with plants, so maybe the conscience won't allow you to eat food from an existence similar to our own, but plants are...different. Easier to consume.

I don't know, but life is still life. Even killing bacteria is killing a living thing, so where do you draw the line on what's acceptable and what isn't? That's why I don't see the point in people arguing often about these things. Humans have awareness, and as such, we have a responsibility to minimise all suffering and do such things in a humane way. Not this stupid thing of keeping animals confined to tiny spaces, pumped full of God-knows-what and then killed without ever having truly lived. But it doesn't mean it's wrong to actually take an animal's life for use as food, as long as you respect that life for what it's given you. The same as with every other living thing that we may eat.