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A Battle With My Self-Esteem
Well, dreading my hair has been the best thing I could've done in terms of my confidence as well as my outlook, patience, etc. It's such a cliche, I know, but it's true, it's helped me a lot. All in things I never expected it to make any difference with. That said, there's one thing it can't really help with, and that's feeling self-conscious over my eczema/sores. I have this huge, deep sore on my forehead at the moment, and I went out today and no-one even looked at me twice. It's a huge relief to feel like I can go out and not be seen like a freak, because although things like that usually don't bother me, it's not particularly pleasant.
Anyway, I went to my nan's house to see her after going out and it was petty busy. My uncle and auntie were there, cousins, one cousin's friend, etc. Everyone was fine, but the friend of one of my cousins just stared at me for literally about thirty seconds. She didn't say a word to me at all, just stared at me. That made me feel really self-conscious. It's annoying, honestly, cos that's what kids do. We're all curious creatures, but kids are the ones that openly stare or say insensitive things. She's a couple of years older than me, so I would've thought she'd have had the maturity to not openly stare at someone without saying anything. At the very least, you can ask about it. But to just stare at someone like they're an outcast is just...rude and insensitive. I don't mind people staring regarding the dreads, cos that's my choice, I love them, so why would their opinion bother me? But this is different because it's not something I choose, it's something out of my control and that I aready feel bad about.
Rant over, basically. I'm not a confrontational person whatsoever, so it's nice to just be able to let it all out on here.