I am amazed at where my life is right now. I absolutely adore my dreads, although I keep them hidden under a scarf while in a hospital setting (mostly about germs). I am a volunteer birthworker (doula), volunteer hospice worker, and volunteer with the medical reserve corps. I graduate with my oldest son in May of this year! I will be an RN and he will have an associates degree in liberal arts and has been selected by an ivy league school to continue in their environmental science degree! They are giving him 1300 a year in scholarships! I am very proud of him! He will also be turning 18 later on this year! Kudos little dude! lol!
On another note, I spent three hours teaching hula hoop dancing to students and staff at the college yesterday! I am amazed at how much happiness is missing out of peoples lives. Lets all do something to change that!
Well now I am four and a half months into my fourth pregnancy and I kinda think this one will be a girl. Three reasons.
1. My face has been breaking out like I'm 14 again and usually my skin is very clear. Didn't happen with any of the boys!
2. I want fruit all the time, I am still tossing my cookies every afternoon and then I want fruit again. So much for morning sickness disappearing for me! I never had it with the boys...
3. Will all three of the boys even before I knew they were boys I had dreams that I had boys all around me. People walking up to me and giving me more boys and opening boxes with little boys in them... you name it they were boys! This time around I have had many dreams where I am walking along and I see girls hiding behind trees. I call out to them not to be shy and they eventually tuck themselves into the folds of my skirt or hide in my hair but I can feel them. Always the same, I can't look directly on them but I can see the mess of hair and the little dresses! So sweet!
I go for another ultrasound on the third of next month I have been hoping for a girl for so long but now that I am pregnant I think having another boy would be Awesome!!! I just don't think it will be.
On a dready side note! I brushed them out hormones! But that was a few months ago and I haven't brushed my hair since then. They were so dull looking and just lacked that spark I know they have! So, going all natural no matter how long it takes. Just wash and go! I almost cut my hair but I have a rule not to cut my hair due to hormone changes. So for now it is safe! Lol!
well, I found out last week that I will be having a baby. This past summer I told my DH that my clock was ticking away like no bodies business! He was once again the voice of reason and convinced me that it wasn't a good time, we already have three boys, the world is going to end in 2012 and so on! lol! So I heard his words and snuggled back into the world of looking forward to my grandchildren some day and praying fervently for the wives my son's will someday find <3September came around and I found my new passion, hula hooping! It was awesome!!!(still is but you know!) I got a huge bruise on my left hip and then had my cycle for three days, it was kinda sandy too. Wierd, maybe stress? I took a test at the end of September (cheepy from Walmart just to be sure) and it was negative. October came and I went to my grandmothers wedding, it was beautiful! I also noticed that I was late. When it did come it was very lite and left promptly. I figured school and life was stressing me out!!!November comes around. I was talking to my gram on a friday, she asked me how I was doing and I paused to formulate an answer. She blurts out " That's a pregnant pause, are you pregnant???" I swore up and down that I wasn't!!! then I looked at the calendar. I decided to wait through the weekend. On Monday morning, I took kids to school and stopped by Walmart for a box of the EPT's. Got home instructed my middle son until he got on his independant studies and ran to the bathroom! first test positive.Waited an hour and a half, second test positive... Waited another hour, rechecked the tests and took the last one, positive! I called my husband from inside the closet and told him "I took three tests, all are positive, don't call or come home till you are happy about it!"He usually comes home at almost 4 pm, this day he ran in the door at 1 pm. I was in the basement I can hear him ask kids "Where's your mother?" then his heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. He ran towards me and held me in his arms.I went to the doctor the next day and then called my grandmother. When I heard her voice I knew something was wrong. We cried together for a while as she told me about her niece who had passed away over the weekend. Her long battle with Diabetes and the kidney she got from her brother. Finally the anti rejection meds had taken their toll. She was found by her best friend asleep in her apartment. My Ree Ree (gramma) has such an amazing faith! She had just returned from the funeral, or as she called it the festival of Anne's life that evening. She said she just knew she had to take my call.I didn't want to bring it up, this little Italian fire ball she got me! She said she needed to hear something else. I told her I was pregnant, she was right! Her gasp was so amazing. "God bless you my sweetest angel Pranee!" I think we cried again! then she quoted, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away!" I am so happy to know her! My life is blessed in so many ways!!! Once the tears of joy were washed away she stated that she no longer felt up to grieving her loss, only rejoycing over her blessings!Not everyone in the family will feel the same way I am sure. Some have reminded me that I "have options". Every child has a right to live.
So yesterday I tried to get an appointment with my primary, who was unable to see me until wednesday, so I took myself to the ER. Don't you just love good old fashioned discrimination? I personally love it...NOT!I went alone thinking my sinus infection would not put me on as a top priority and the kids would be more work for me than anything else. So I put the oldest in charge (he's 14) and took my tam that I am knitting and drove across town to the hosp.I tell the admitting secretary that I am in horrible pain from my sinuses and that it is my medical opinion that it is a sinus infection and I need antibiotics before it gets any worse. She just looks at me... "you said you are in pain" umm it feels like a tractor trailer ran over my head... "so are you looking for pain medication?" dip tird, I need antibiotics... "ok go over there and a nurse will tell you where to go." so I go and wait...Now I know that we all have a personal responsibility to look a certain way in order not to draw attention to ourselves. We should invest in products and services advertised in the main stream media in order to fit in with the rest of society but it has never felt right to me. I felt stress as a teen because I never had the money to wear designer logos or the cool shoes. My life was revolutionized when I met Sara G. This friend spent a whole year on wardrobe fashions. One year she was on safari so all her clothes reflected it! The next she went all gypsy and had a great time with it! She told me that yeah kids laugh and ask stupid questions but she does what she likes and she isn't hurting anyone! Wow, at that time I was trying so hard to fit in... but she had purple hair, was as tom as she wanted to be and dressed "like a freak" which only translated to AWESOME! So thank You Sara!So now I have dreadlocks and was dressed like shy violet (rainbow brights friend) only crossed with little house on the prairy. Sniffling and knitting away. behind the little curtain I hear an elderly lady telling her daughter in law some of her symptoms (dry mouth, painful hard belly, difficulty swallowing, dizzyness, frequent urination) and asking for a drink. Her daughter in law tells her no you can't drink any water, just wait a while. Lady was only getting more stressed. tells the nurse about all meds and recent changes. I waited till the nurse left and told the daughter from behind the curtain that her mother in law is dehydrated, ask for some water and tell them about the new med. She is also constipated due to dehydration and it is common for this med to cause this. Oh my was she receptive, you think so? I told her I work with the elderly and I see this from time to time when they are adjusting the meds.They leave for some tests and meanwhile the doctor comes in to see me. "So, you're in pain. Tell me on a scale of 1 to 10." no I feel like I can handle the pain I just can't wait fro next week for antibiotics because I have an infection that will not go away. "are you currently on any drugs?" which comes with a look like your eyes are red from smoking like cheech or are there needle marks some place? No, nothing like that.So as I am rolling out of there the lady next curtain over comes back and asks the other nurse where the lady in the next curtain was (me) I introduce myself and tell her that I hope her mother in law recovers and that I will add her to my prayer list. She seemed more suprised that I prayed!So after this ordeal I get my prescriptions and head to the pharmacy where I get the nervous looks from some people.I guess it shouldn't bother me. Usually I have the kids with me so I am more concerned with not losing one or more of them while in the store. I don't concern myself with how I am perceived by others. At work I am confident. My peers might think I have a screw loose but my residents see me and they are so happy they all ask if I will be visiting them and are so happy when I tell them yes! One lady asked me why I don't brush my hair before coming to work. I told her I didn't want to waste a minute of my day that would keep me away from seeing her! She just smiled!I keep my affirmation strong.I am Pranee. A red haired dread locked Gemini. A strong mother, a good wife, a good friend. I am a decent Christian with a testimony to share. I like tattoos, music, and dancing in a field. I am on my way to becoming a hospice nurse. For now I am in nursing and love the experience. I am going to be me no matter what!So I am done. Felt good to get it all out... So, how do you deal with people being negative toward you based on appearance?