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Jakk Lyman


Location: Portland, OR
Zipcode: 97201
Country: US


Blogs: 6
youtube videos: 5
images: 14

Where I'm coming from.....

user image 2012-03-02
By: Jakk Lyman
Posted in:

I decided to write this because sometimes its difficult to relate to people, they make so many assumptions. I suppose its something we all do for convenience, but the past few years Ive begun checking myself--somewhere between studying logic, epistemology and personal experience Ive begun leaving the assumptions behind. For all intents and purposes Ive been on the street for the better part of about 20 some odd years. I got used to being treated like a second class citizen a long time ago, and this definitely affected how I saw the world. Even though I squatted and traveled I had to recognize that most of the people in these groups came from nice middle class families and had left home to have an adventure. Im not saying theres anything wrong with that, I think its great, but my experiences and their experiences were radically different. In 1988 when I was 12 and eating out of dumpsters there was nothing cool about it. The local schools would have nothing to do with me, and most kids werent allowed to be around me. I was considered "scummy" by most, and it wasnt until much later that being a dirty kid became a cool thing--and that was only cool in a very limited sense. I crossed the law a bunch and was on a serious habituary offender list at 13, my first arrest was a home invasion. This high school kid was making a 12 year old run away girl 'put out' for shelter while his parents were out of town. I went up in his house with a gun and a couple homeboys and got her out of there as well as robbed him proper. Ive never felt all that bad about it. I was kind of jealous that other kids got to go to school and after sort of re-teaching myself how to read in juvenile (back then I never did more than 90 days-but it was all cell time,no yard or movement) I began reading everything I could get my hands on. I spent about 7 months in the DSHS system, but after calling CPS on a facility that was beating (and later I found out raping) the kids, CPS told me to shut up or they'd shut me up, and then sent me to a boys ranch/work camp run by wherehauser. After i escaped the DSHS system basically let me go and I never had trouble with them again. Later in my life when I was selling dope and living in SF I would get a call from a lawyer to tell me I was the only one to ever say anything about the OK boys ranch in Olympia Wa. and that there was a class action lawsuit going on-thats when I found out the workers were raping the kids. One kid won a million dollars from that place but killed himself about a year after the suit. SF was the first place I ever paid rent, I tried to do it the legal way at first, I was squatting this shit-hole church on 15th and delores and working at a movie theater making 4.25 an hr.-that wasnt getting me anywhere, so I invested. I sold speed (never used it, never liked it) and eventually grew weed as well. Later I would move on to heroin, cocaine (hard and soft) as well as guns. Im sure this all sounds horrible and hypocritical, after all, I was and am an anarchist--and I dont mean I listened to too much punk rock, I learned about real anarchism from a college kid that put me up for awhile when I was 13-14 and began directing my thoughts and research in that direction. In my teens I was organizing demonstrations--all that good stuff. I did get really disillusioned though, where I constantly questioned and searched others seemed to accept whatever as a part of their identity, and if anything was brought up or a position taken that conflicted with those identities....well, Ive seen people basically blacklisted over straight bullshit. As angry as I was, and still am, Ive always had a strong compassionate and empathetic side as well.--anyway, at one point i moved to TX cuz it looked like the dea was about to catch up with me. TX sucked. I got locked up so fast in TX over such minor shit. Dallas was the worst, the neighborhood I was in was right next to a street with a bunch of clubs, several of them were gay clubs and one night I came across a small crowd of people standing over this poor guy who had just taken a brick to the head for being gay. "dont touch him he probably has aids" I heard one of em say, there was blood everywhere and the guy probably thought he was dying--I did. I took off my shirt and used it for a pillow and to try and stop the guys bleeding and held his hand while I tried to make them call an ambulance-which they finally did. I just didnt understand people. Not more than a week after that I come across this Asian guy being beat with bottles being called a communist gook-I used my body to take the bottles so he could get to his car. A couple days later I tried to bum a cigarette on that same strip in a crowd of people outside a club, as I put a cigarette in my mouth I got slapped blindside by this lesbian and people cheered as she cussed me out for being a bum and a mooch. This type of mob hatred for the downtrodden was pretty common, I'd go in a coffee shop to buy a coffee and be told my business wasnt wanted (homeless people not allowed)-cuz at that point I was back to being homeless--I got my apt. raided when I was living in austin for distribution (it was pathetic really I was peddling dime-bags to make rent) While I was in state jail in TX I refused to get with my "race" as your supposed to. I saw this poor white boy sold to the BGF for a bag of coffee cuz he shared his commissary with a black. I stuck to my guns though, I dont get along with nazis, I dont get along with any of that. After several confrontations with various whites the Gangster Disciples brought me into their organization, they liked how I carried myself and that I fight for mine.I was also pretty open and outspoken about my politics and made some good friends with alot of the older gangsters--we'd chop it up about the black panthers and I loved to introduce folks to revolutionary perspectives that they hadnt been aware of. When I finally left TX and went up north I was having trouble finding work-shit I was having trouble getting an ID, I ran into my Dad, he was living alone and dying of dementia, I wanted to help but I was living in the woods. Sooo, I started doing the only thing that had ever consistently got me on my feet, I was snitched out and did another year. That sentence wasnt that bad, as far as time went. I told the prison I was a buddhist and was vegan for religious purposes. There were alot of swastica tattoos at classification, but since I was GD I just found the G's and did my time with them. The whites hate that. In TX even the guards got in on it, stripping me down on the main line to chow. Washington wasnt as bad though, I did have to go before a security threat board where they asked me about my anarchist politics--they were more concerned with that then my gang affiliation (cuz its all on file) When I got out though I had the stuff i needed to get an ID so I could work. I got a place and moved my Dad in, but after he broke his hip I had to quit my job because he needed round the clock care--thats when I got into school, I figured financial aid could help with the bills and I could do what I enjoy most-- learn stuff. School was alright, a little on the eazy side, but having to take care of my Dad at the same time definitely made things difficult. I watched as he grew more and more frustrated because his mind was turning on him--and the world around him no longer had use for a human that couldnt create profit for somebody. He died last August, and I moved here. Now Im living in a borrowed RV, Im getting the chance to buy it though for 1500, a good price. Never had a drivers license, thats on the list. Since Ive been here in portland its alot of the same old shit, I dont sell drugs anymore, Im sick of going to prison, but if someone with money says "move that thing" its time to move, ive gotten $, tow notices....its illegal to sleep in a vehicle, they'd rather have you under a bridge where they dont have to look at you. A few weeks ago a couple homeless guys were shot while they slept. Its ironic, the system that instills these types of relating to one another uses these examples as an excuse for why we need it. We dont though, its a common misconception that how we currently act is "natural" or a result of "human nature"--but these are cultural constructs. As I continue writing articles (Ive already written the education one) I hope that it will become clear that a considerable amount of time and resources are dedicated to upholding these constructs. For something we'd supposedly do "naturally" it sure does take alot of work to keep us on task. Particularly in the U.S. where we are all immigrants, what we lack in traditional culture has been replaced by capitalism. Capitalism is a way of relating to one another. It carrys the ideal of authority throughout every institution, after all, there is always a boss and a hierarchy, and the american dream is to become the boss, to climb the social ladder-stepping on everyone that gets in the way. Competition and greed have become the center pieces of our social, political and economic system. When people say-oh thats human nature, I say thats a cop-out, cuz human nature is very diverse, so much so that there have been cultures and systems that do not work like this. Nothings perfect, but to base our entire system on our worst traits is insane, not only are we glorifying them, we are refining the worst we have to offer. When I say these things I dont say them glibly or easily. This is based not only from a life of experience, but that life has been aware, nearly from day one, of what was being experienced--and Ive also violated statistical probability, statistically I should be barely literate and emotionally disturbed--Im one of the most intelligent, happy, and emotionally healthy people I know ( I couldnt think of a modest way of writing that so I figured fuck it)--but in this sense Im lucky, because things are organized so that those who would normally gain the most insight about our culture are cruelly marginalized and simply cant articulate how, why, or what. This is to say nothing for the fact that information is managed so that on the one hand there is a cacophony of opinions and theories competing, and on the other, a slow repetitive clear voice of official "reason."

Hopefully I'm not just writing this to myself. There is a simple solution. Its taken me 20 years to understand it, and its already here after a fashion, its been emerging though cloaked in alot of useless sophistication.--and no its not love, while yes thats a good thing people have been telling people to love one another for freakin ever and things are still screwed up. Its not Jesus, at least not for me and a good portion of the world, if religion could solve our problems or even get us on the right track we'd be there by now. It isnt some complex system that requires everyone to get on the same page and do things the same way, that will never work-and as the population grows we get further away from that possibility. No, Im convinced we need to work toward anarchism, but thats not it either-cuz we'll never get everyone to go for that, they need to get there themselves. We need something simple that doesnt require alot of explaining, something that allows everyone to do things however it might work best, something that allows failure but not ruin, something where success spreads rather than being horded. A simple principle that has real active applicable results, one that changes perception as it spreads. Something we can actively work with, something we can do that demonstrates what the world could look like. Something that gives results we'll want to defend.------------As soon as I figure out how to present it, I will. Its something Im sure everyones heard of in a way.Ive been mulling it over and the more I think about it the better it seems. Its not perfect mind you, but its a way to start, to get our foot in the door of real change.---Jakk

Angel Frye
03/04/12 09:48:42PM @angel-frye:

But but.. Jakk! If the state disappeared who would we bitch about every three years for an ENTIRE year on national news forums in preparation for elections? ROFL

I am all for elected officials if they are effective and are not lining their pockets. We need representation to a certain extent to make sure anarchy doesn't become synergistic with complete lawlessness. But our current systems aren't working. In this context, talk isn't cheap. Talk is motivating. We need more of it.

Also, I am of the mindset that human beings have an innate internal compass. We may require representation for the common good when we have jackasses who want to discriminate but other than that....? Leave us the hell alone, I say. I read a telling article a few weeks ago stating that a high percentage of Congress are multimillionaires. Why should the 1% represent us? The 1% should be audited and then let's see how many don't wind up in prison for their crimes. Very few, I'd say.

Look up "pleroma." Now look up "philotic web." For the second you'll have to go to Wikipedia as it is a science fiction term created by Orson Scott Card. The first term is as old as the oldest "Christian" codex found so far. Both bear witness that we are connected to one another at such a deep level that we even share dreams. We share ideas. We share love. We share the same desire for peace and happiness by any means necessary.

I think that human beings have great potential, Jakk, but our egos get in the way of our own collective happiness.

Jakk Lyman
03/03/12 04:14:24PM @jakk-lyman:

...cont.regular people powerless is extremely inefficient. there are businesses that are using models based on anarchist methods to simulate an anarchistic environment because it creates happier more productive the anarcho-syndicilists found during the spanish civil war. For most people, they go their whole life without ever needing the state, they'd eat sleep and work quite normally if the state disappeared tomorrow and nobody told them. get rid of capitalism and damn near every reason the state uses to justify itself would disappear.---but this is all stuff Im preparing for an article after Ive covered the mechanisms that are used to artificially prop up the current narrative, and the consequences resulting from capitalist economics that drive the Grand Narrative....thanks for the comments, Im enjoying this (I couldnt find a "comment back" so I just did this)--jakk

Angel Frye
03/03/12 04:08:51PM @angel-frye:

Jakk, when my (then) fifth grade son was going through information about the American Revolution and I explained to him that Americans were the ultimate anarchists(and what that meant) it completely changed the way he looked at American history. I think the real problem is that (North)Americans aren't taught anything about the other countries in the world who also have the type of drastic upheaval-by-anarchy. We're very narrow minded in this regard. I think about the South American countries and it boggles the mind with just how many coups they've had and how far they have to come before their people are truly happy.

Jakk Lyman
03/03/12 03:54:00PM @jakk-lyman:

Theres alot of misunderstanding about anarchism, as well as the real functions of government. People assume people need to be more independent or in some way outstanding compared to how our current culture operates. This isnt true though, the reason's we seem to have such a need for the structures we have in place today are almost all related to the system itself. For instance, our constitutional amendments were born from a conflict between 2 political party's, one wanted to ensure the other couldnt monopolize all the power, it had nothing to do with granting ordinary people rights. Prior to this meeting of the minds one could say much of the country was anarchic, certainly the democracy created by the Iroquois natives was extremely anarchistic (as was many cultures throughout the world)-our government was merely a means of protecting the property and power interests of the few, basically an extension of the monarchy system except the "nobility" didnt want to be subject to the King anymore, they wanted to rule collectively amongst themselves. Currently, through capitalism and authoritarianism, the people are kept from the resources necessary to manage their own affairs without participation within the system, as well as subjected to a vast and constant barrage of "pushes and pulls"--which I'll basically be covering in my posts. Those that hold power professionally know that without this constant barrage and resource control our real natural nature emerges and the narrative they've created begins to break down. Now Im not saying that by ordinary nature we are a utopian species, on the contrary, one of the central themes of anarchism is that we are both capable of great good and evil, so it stands to reason you do not create vehicles for evil. Positions of authority are one of these vehicles, their are many ways of organizing for convenience and with large numbers of people without conferring positions of coercive power. In individual can be shitty, but a person with authority can redefine evil. Also, and this is perhaps the most important, nobody ever was meant to be a millionaire or anywhere near that kind of wealth. There is no way to accumulate that kind of wealth without a system to "lawfully" support and protect that kind of economics. For a person to be that wealthy many people have to be poor. This creates an authoritarian structure into our economic system as well as refining the greed and competition that accompany such an ideology. Even this system which many people think functions quite naturally off our worst traits needs an extraordinary amount of resources dedicated towards regimenting the public mind for consumerism--without which it would have either leveled out or collapsed (I think just prior to WW2). It was actually deliberately decided by leaders in business to manufacture consumerist culture and extend the hours of work for ordinary people rather than raising wages and lowering hours to compensate for massive overproduction..(they had to do this to keep their riches cuz they found that once people basic needs are met they naturally stop buying things, thats why so much money is spent on identifying products with happiness, cuz we dont function in this manner left to our own devises, also, they wanted to minimize leisure time as much as possible because if people had more time on their hands they were more likely to stop and rethink their position .)--So anarchism really isnt anything special in this respect. Another misconception is that its easier with smaller groups, as crazy as this might sound, anarchism actually gets easier and functions better the more people are involved. Organizing ourselves without the state is really no big thing;everyone thinks we need some massive organization, but even for those that want to control--all their system is is a conglomeration of other smaller organizations, and the way they confer power and responsibility in a rigid structure while keeping regular people power

Tara C
03/02/12 10:06:42PM @tara-c:

I've always thought that assumptions and judgments were some kind of loose instinct to identify those who appear to be your ally or your enemy. Which made sense a long time ago I guess, but not anymore. Your best friend can deceive you, and the person another race and religion to you speaking another language might care about you and offer you help. So I think it is possible to get rid of judging people, but I also know it's not easy. I don't judge people, but there are still instances where my mind will react before logic.

When I was reading through everything you wrote about your life, I couldn't help but look at my own life and see how easy I have it, even though it never feels that way. When you hear about the difficulties someone else has gone through, it makes you remember that there are always people in harder conditions. But it's great that you haven't become another statistic, that you've gained all of this knowledge along with your experience, it gives you a unique perspective of the world, most people (in developed countries, at least) don't ever see it from that point of view.

As for anarchism...people are too dependent to be independent. I mean, we can adapt, but I think as a whole, people will be more willing to protest about it than to adapt. Anyway, I loved reading this, you have really interesting thoughts, and it's great of you to share those thoughts with us.

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