Aight dude Mike is right that you do have to respect and honor your parents, but if they are not being what i would call mature, then tell'em that you really wanna talk to them from man to man (even with your mom). Sit down with them and in a civilized manner explain your reasons and also explain that you are not doing those things that they connect with dreads, drugs, crack, u actually wash, etc. Finally tell them that this will help you grow as a person and that if they are not gonna allow to make your own choices now then how are you supposed to grow up once you leave? Just be real with them and don't forget to tell them cuz you never know when will be the last time you see them... If they say no either way just let them now that you'll eventually do it and there'll be nothing that can stop you. But that's worst case scenario so just make sure you sit them down and tell them to actually listen to you. Aight man best lucks of you, kinda going through the same so I had to do what I had to do. I'm 17 in my last year of highschool and just got to my second week, but i think my mom is convinced by now. Haha peace dude
Help me keep my dreads!
Hey all of you,
Well, I may have explained it badly earlier. My dad has not spoke about my dreads since yesterday (when he told me to comb them out that night!), this morning we were talking as if nothing was ever mentionned.
I have to admit, yesterday they were poking out everywhere like medusa though, today they're a bit better (I put on a wool hat, and in about an hour it "flattens" them, stops the "medusa" look! Probably slows down the dreads, but at least they look a bit neater).
I have missed out on loads of opportunities because of my parents, but I have also had many because of them.
They know I am "anti drugs", they know I wont do them even if I have dreads, it's just that they think everyone will think I do drugs. They have been asking all of my friends "what is the first thing you think of when you see someone with dreads", they all say weed. I can understand, BUT when someone imagines dreads, they usually think of the "thick bob marley style" ones (no offense to people with big dreads), and I'm looking for the thin style, which is usually less messy (messy dreads look awesome dont get me wrong!), the type that many people dont even realise are dreads until they look closely!
The way this morning went, I think I can keep them AND go in the garage, I think he realised I won't "let go"! I'm still the same person, I can still help him with whatever even if I have dreads lol
JP
i disagree completely with mike
i went through hell when young with my parents forcing me to dress the way they wanted me to dreass and do things the way they wanted me to do them
i was bullied every day because of the way i was forced to dress
i was tolds " you can have your own identity when your not living under our roof"
i say fuck what your parents want if u need dreads to be happy then dread
teen years are hard enough to survive withoit being able to feel like you
now im not saying to say f u mom im doing it anyway (unless it came to that)
but search the site for
letter to parents
or
convincing parents
edit 1 of my letters
they have so far convinced 100% orf the parents
you do not need to accept their ignoranvce yu can change their attituedes with facts
--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1
Thanks for that, it seems to have passed without anything now though, wait and see 
if hes also your employer search the site for letter to employer
appeal to him both as a dad and employer
Jonathan Poll said:
Hey all of you,
Well, I may have explained it badly earlier. My dad has not spoke about my dreads since yesterday (when he told me to comb them out that night!), this morning we were talking as if nothing was ever mentionned.
I have to admit, yesterday they were poking out everywhere like medusa though, today they're a bit better (I put on a wool hat, and in about an hour it "flattens" them, stops the "medusa" look! Probably slows down the dreads, but at least they look a bit neater).
I have missed out on loads of opportunities because of my parents, but I have also had many because of them.
They know I am "anti drugs", they know I wont do them even if I have dreads, it's just that they think everyone will think I do drugs. They have been asking all of my friends "what is the first thing you think of when you see someone with dreads", they all say weed. I can understand, BUT when someone imagines dreads, they usually think of the "thick bob marley style" ones (no offense to people with big dreads), and I'm looking for the thin style, which is usually less messy (messy dreads look awesome dont get me wrong!), the type that many people dont even realise are dreads until they look closely!
The way this morning went, I think I can keep them AND go in the garage, I think he realised I won't "let go"! I'm still the same person, I can still help him with whatever even if I have dreads lol
JP
--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1
well i dont consider cannabis use as 'drug use'...but your parents are just functioning on old fashioned notions and its EXTREMELY hard if not impossible to convince people like that to see your point of view. im speaking from personal experience. if you feel you do not want to brush your hair, then dont. are they really gonna be like "you cant go to england with that hair"! they might see even more dreads over there and realize they are being irrational and rude. its your hair. if its not negatively affecting your performance in school or whaatever, then they really should lay off. and i would stick with natural. i think those would make you the most happy because you would get to see the birth of them, not force it. just be polite and likeable and perhaps they will change their mind.
haha and i agree with you!!
soaring eagle said:
i disagree completely with mike
i went through hell when young with my parents forcing me to dress the way they wanted me to dreass and do things the way they wanted me to do them
i was bullied every day because of the way i was forced to dress
i was tolds " you can have your own identity when your not living under our roof"
i say fuck what your parents want if u need dreads to be happy then dread
teen years are hard enough to survive withoit being able to feel like you
now im not saying to say f u mom im doing it anyway (unless it came to that)
but search the site for
letter to parents
or
convincing parents
edit 1 of my letters
they have so far convinced 100% orf the parents
you do not need to accept their ignoranvce yu can change their attituedes with facts
Sorry your parents were so bad SE, but to tell a kid to tell his parents to fuck off, is wrong.
Sorry you had a hard time coping in life. My parents were quite bad too, then add getting beat up for being the only black kid in class on top of it, getting jumped by a bunch of white kids for just being me. That is still not enough to tell my parents to fuck off, that is just wrong.
I guess I'm just not that liberal to think that a teenager has enough rights to be that disrespectful to their parents. Sorry that respect is such a long for gone thing. Yet it's crazy that every one wants respect and tolerance. It is amazing you disagree with me, but not the people who agree with me. We all walk different walks of life and should respect that. But as a parent if someone told my kid to tell me to fuck off I'd kick their ass. The world is a hard enough place trying to raise kids without people purposely trying to make kids rebel. The idea of free love, self expression is subjective. We DEMAND rights as kids, you can't vote, you can't drink, buy cigarettes, by law when you are of legal age to be responsible then by that age expect to be respected unless you are willing to do more.
If you care to read here is my upbringing.
I couldn't go out, have a girlfriend. I was forced to do piano, sing, dance, soccer, basketball, track, dragged to church, the symphony and musicals. I had to submit every song I listened to my father in writing. I spent my Saturday morning cartoon time at toastmaster meetings, or radio shows with my dad. I had to beg to grow a flat top, I had to get a summer job to get braids. I had to earn all my soccer gear, had to buy my own guitar,
I'm glad things just died down. My biggest thing is if you want respect give respect. I think you and your dad can work things out, but you now have a good deal of ideas to do another step if needed. I completely disagree with anyone who tells you to tell your parents to fuck off. They are your parents and they don't seem to be oppressive other than the subject of your hair. I don't think I was wrong in offering you ideas to work with your parents and show your maturity. Respect and maturity are at the root of growing up. So to clarify work with your parents to keep them, if you can't show some maturity and wait. Two years won't kill you.
Jonathan Poll said:
Thanks for that, it seems to have passed without anything now though, wait and see
updated by @javalizard: 07/13/15 09:20:20AM
