Hello everyone, uh, my name is Gullbrandsson.
And I'm a Dread Abuser
For about eight months now I have been using and.. now I want to get clean, no, I've decided to get clean. I want to get it all out and start over, clean slate.
I guess I just woke up one morning and knew something was wrong, that something was wrong with me. So I got up to look myself in the mirror, and for the first time in eight months I could truly see myself.
I bet you're thinking "Meh, how far can you fall in eight months, I've seen a lot worse", but let me tell you.. Eight months is long enough, and it's taken it's toll on me..
I guess what I have been doing can be called a way of "reverse neglecting". I did not pay attention to what the stuff was doing to me, and I suppose the friends I had werent the best to rely on in this matter either. They seemed trustworthy enough telling me all kinds of comforting stuff "it's not dangerous", "you're supposed to do it" and since I knew they had been doing it for a long time, I trusted them.
I've been through this the hard way.. I've done it all- needles, ripping, "waxing", I've done concoction brewing, yeah you name it..
What's really fucked up is that I never thought twice about any of it, NEVER. It all felt so good I just went with it, into my own dreaded demise I guess, heh..
I don't think I'll ever get rid of everything, I think it's always gonna be in there as some kind of grim reminder of just how fucking stupid I was.
Maybe that's for the better..
I have been reading up on some threads here on the forum and I really feel I can get the help I need to get clean here. And I want to help others like me as well, I know that not everyone wakes up to see it with their own eyes, sometimes they need someone to push them through it, especially around friends that use too.
I remember one time when I was over at a friends place to watch a movie, and even though we didn't decide to do any she suddenly put out a needle in front of me and asked if I wanted some. I remember actually telling her it wasn't good for me, that I wanted to stop. But then she got mad at me, telling me how fucking wrong I was and the other friend that was with us started bashing at me as well, so what could I do?
Yeah, I used that fucker all up
My plan is to become quite active on this forum, trying to help as much as I can and I'm going to post another thread where I document my progress towards cleaning up, telling you about what methods I use and how it's working out for me.
So yeah, thanks for reading, I realize I made quite the novel here, bare with me ; )
I'll see you around
updated by @d-gullbrandsson: 02/14/15 04:42:56AM