That's not what I said, I said culture big difference. National identity currency boundaries and culture is not the same thing and yes it does have a lot (culture) to do with it. Wrong is not just plain wrong as you put it is a question of belief and is highly influenced by culture. I am not arguing that what she did is right or wrong or what he did is right or wrong ( like I said not enough info IMO) what I am saying is that how we react to the video (this is what thediscussionis about) is influence by back ground ( how we were raised) and culture is a part of each andeveryone back ground.
Angel Frye said
I don't think this has anything to do with national identity or currency boundaries. Wrong is just plain wrong. So is the reaction sound or over the top?
I don't have a gun but if I was in that guy's shoes I'd have taken a screw driver and taken the thing apart piece by piece right in front of her. We could always use the pieces for art projects. My husband makes custom toys for clients and man can he upcycle!
like i said. "it all depends on the standards of discipline people are used to being held to."
Jdwood said:
That's not what I said, I said culture big difference. National identity currency boundaries and culture is not the same thing and yes it does have a lot (culture) to do with it. Wrong is not just plain wrong as you put it is a question of belief and is highly influenced by culture. I am not arguing that what she did is right or wrong or what he did is right or wrong ( like I said not enough info IMO) what I am saying is that how we react to the video (this is what thediscussionis about) is influence by back ground ( how we were raised) and culture is a part of each andeveryone back ground.
Angel Frye saidI don't think this has anything to do with national identity or currency boundaries. Wrong is just plain wrong. So is the reaction sound or over the top?
I don't have a gun but if I was in that guy's shoes I'd have taken a screw driver and taken the thing apart piece by piece right in front of her. We could always use the pieces for art projects. My husband makes custom toys for clients and man can he upcycle!
I just watched the video. Like JD said..we really don't know both sides. The thing that bothered me was the fact that she is 15 and he is trying to force her to get a job (he even brought a job application home to her)...and because she hasn't he is calling her names such as "lazy". She is 15 for goodness sake. In my opinion that is too young to be employed. You have to have special circumstances and get legal permission to work at that age in my state. Not sure if that is federal or not. Also he did work on her computer then shoots it...then says she "owes" him $130 for the parts. Why should she be responsible for something her father (an adult) breaks? He ruined those parts...not her. And the humiliation.....She did not post what she wrote for the whole world to read....but he posts to the world to shame and humiliate her. I don't now what people define tough love as....but i define those actions as bordering on abuse.
This video really gave me a bad vibe and yes it isprobablybecause the standards of discipline I was raised in was not that great (abusive). I was always living in fear, either the fear of the cult leaders or of my father.Highlycontrollingauthority figures make me sick to mystomach.This is why Isympathiesmore with the girl then the father but again not enough detail to really know.
Amy Lee said:
like i said. "it all depends on the standards of discipline people are used to being held to."
That whole you owe me $130 dollars for the parts (that i just destroyed) attitude reminds me of the "you made me hit you. It is your fault that i hit you attitude. I think his lack of maturity and his act of vandalism is not something to be applauded. He keeps saying that something similar happened that caused her to be grounded for 3 months....but he can't remember what it was exactly that she did. I am not condoning disrespect for parents. I am a parent and my children have been upset with me before. I know they talked to their friends about it...or they wrote it in their diaries. It sounds to me that she chose to vent to her friends on facebook instead of fighting about it with her parents. He even said it was on there set to privacy.
I'll go ahead and repost my comment from youtube as it sums up my feelings:
"This whole family is disgusting... just the fact that she posted that rant on facebook instead of feeling comfortable to talk to her parents about her concerns shows she doesn't have a warm family environment... and the fact that her dad chose to humiliate her like this instead of dealing with it privately shows that even more. Sick, and a pathetic example of a role model."
Whip Thehooper, have you never done anything idiotic or embarrassed your parents? Have you never had toys taken away from you?? A lot of kids DO have a 'warm environment' and still end up acting like self-entitled little shitheads.
My kids talk to me about anything and everything and lemme tell ya- some stuff I really don't want to know, but I'm glad that they do feel that comfortable around me. I'd rather they get the info straight instead of from their all-knowing friends.
I'm the first one that'll praise them but I'm also the first one that'll take a paddle to their ass when they do something idiotic or unsafe. And they know that I love them with all my heart, mind, and soul. I give them my all every single day. As a matter of fact I got a Valentine's day card this morning and both kids wrote "To my mother" type notes in it and saying that I treat them like they are my own and they love me for it. (Actually, their birthmother acts more like a sister to them so I am their only mother and I count myself as such. Not aloud, but in my head.)
Honestly, I think it comes down to this girl in the vid not feeling appreciated and not being told 'Thank You' for helping out. I was forced to help out around the house and felt demeaned because of not being appreciated. I vowed that my children would grow up to be independent and responsible adults while still helping around the house BUT also knowing that they were appreciated and exactly WHY they were appreciated-- not just because they were helping out but because they were learning and growing and trying. If I see the effort then I praise and hug. If I see snotty behavior then I call out on it. The snotty behavior always stems from them wanting to play video games instead of taking care of responsibilities first and then playing video games. I've never seen snotty behavior from my kids because they thought they were being taken advantage of.They are never taken advantage of. They are loved and given anything they want within reason if their attitudes and grades are good. Our house is like a Toys R Us.
So I guess all those farm kids' descendents would have a pretty good class action suit, eh? Farm/slave labor.
If her father chose to publicly humiliate her then so be it. He could have done far FAR worse and I think we should be thankful for that. And besides that, you don't know how many times he could have been dealing with her privately and it going in one ear and right out the other. He was at the end of his rope, obviously.
The one time I privately humiliated my mother she kicked me out of the house. Rationality and logic wasn't her strongest virtue back then. So what, I should have burned her house down? Would that have been fair? Because you know, she couldn't deal with me privately and was a pathetic example of a role model. But after a decade of silence and distance we both came together again and said our apologies. We're cool now. Not then, but we are now.
I think that the more publicity this girl gets the worse her attitude will be when she finally grows up.
thank you angel. ive been stewing on that reply myself. if calling a 15 yr old girl 'disgusting' for making a mistake makes you feel good, thats disturbing. we have all been young and dumb and made stupid mistakes. most of us have learned some very hard life lessons by way of those mistakes, at least i can say i have. just because this family may not have a 'warm environment', as you put it, in no way makes them disgusting. (actually you have NO idea what this families home life is like, so even making that assumption is ridiculous.) if you want to disagree with the fathers actions, thats one thing. but attacking the little girl is crossing the line.
