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Dealing with Criticism

yakerdeets
@yakerdeets
11 months ago
8 posts

How do you all deal with criticism from family and friends about your dreads? Comments from people? etc etc....

Over the holidays I got a lot of mixed emotions about my dreads. Some thought they were cool/pretty. Most had all kinds of questions and wanted to know more. Then the rest hated them. For example my step mom didn't talk to me all day and when she did she said "so when are you going to be done with your dreads?" I said "like matured or like cut them off?" she said "cutting them off...."

Just when I was starting to feel really good about my dreads then all this came out and as I am still feeling good about them I am trying to move past the criticism.


updated by @yakerdeets: 01/04/17 12:42:24PM
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
11 months ago
28,055 posts

well i ignore it always have

but for 1st 15 years not a single convo i ever had with my mom didn't mention cutting dreads, every glance in her direction got the reaction of her fingers making cutting motions

always got the im embarrassed to be seen with you like that..bla bla bla

then we went out xmass shopping 1 year.. and about 15 blue haired old ladies surround me saying how they never saw anything so beautiful

that was the end of that.. next year got a tam from them as an xmas present




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
fundoo
@fundoo
11 months ago
37 posts

yeah, you've gotta shrug it off. Be as nice as you can about their genuine concerns, be educated and answer their questions, but as far as preference, you can't force people to like what they don't like. I get this almost every single day, but it has gotten to be more jokingly now so it's more just fun. And every once in awhile, a joke that they are liked gets thrown in too! haha However, I'm still hoping and waiting that one day they will actually be liked, without the jokes. ;) 

You can remind them that YOU would still love them if they ever got a bad hairstyle or something. A preference doesn't take away from the love, and if it does, well then you might have to re-evaluate your relationships or how much you really want these. Is this a relationship breaker or not? Is there a compromise or are you deadset on it? I'm only just over a year in right now and I'm still not sure if I'll keep them forever, but I am secure in my choice and have support, and I am definitely not ready to get rid of them yet! :D

I love reading the positive comments on these threads for hope that folks might change their minds when the dreads mature, but also just because even the most secure people like reassurances every now and again. :P

dawntreader62
@dawntreader62
11 months ago
1 posts

I have 53 medium size dreads about 6-7 inches long now. I regularly palm roll and I condition once a month. All my dreads have brightly coloured beads in them. I am complimented daily even by people who say they don't like dreads but say mine are lovely. I am also told my head is a work of living art by some. If i have had any negative reactions, they have not been to my face. I believe it is because I do not look unkept/neglected...not judging anyone that chooses that look but being in the professional work arena that i am, I find that method would not serve me. I am still all natural in my maintainance methods but my dreads are very neatly groomed. I hope that I am changing peoples' perceptions of both dreads, tattoos and glitter ;-)

yakerdeets
@yakerdeets
11 months ago
8 posts

Thank you guys this helped a lot Happy

Yea I think with most people they expect dreads to look "perfect" as in very mature and long right away but since I am in the messy 3 month stage they aren't as "pretty" (even though I think they are Wink).

I was just feeling really down on myself and this helped a lot! <3

yakerdeets
@yakerdeets
11 months ago
8 posts

My friends love my dreads! My one friend makes me say "for the Horde" all the time as a joke that I look like an orc from World of Warcraft since I have the septum piercing too lol which is his way of complimenting them. That stuff I love and can laugh at but the "when are you cutting those things out...." not so much...

Irie
@irie
11 months ago
41 posts

Just have to remember whats right for us isnt right for everyone else.
Opinions are like  assholes, everyone has one and they all stink eh?

Ive come to understand people who hate dreads dont know much about them in the first place.
They assume dreads=low life drug user or dirty bummy hippy.
Need to explain to them dreads are the natural state of human hair, and they are the ones who are actually strange for spending so much excess money/time trying to fit the "normal" standard made by humans.

Its all love from me but sometimes I wonder, did theses peoples parents ever told them "If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all.

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
11 months ago
28,055 posts

i'll say that i have worked in corporate offices  with daily meetings with politicians multi millionaires   deans of universities  etc etc (even the head of homeland security) and that's complete rubbish that keeping them well maintained matters

mine have never had a thing done to them and whether its a congressman or a preist, a ceo  or anyone .. they don't give a flying fug what your hair looks like if you do your job well

the only comments i ever got was "thoswe are the most beautiful dreads i ever saw" and "can i touch them"

in fact in polls on fb it was shown that  people with natural, unmaintained dreads had an unemployment rate 1% BETTER then the national average

while those with maintained dreads had a whopping 65% unemployment rate!

(for statistical purposes, about 70% who took part in the poll had unmaintained dreads)

furthermore, not 1 person was ever told they had to maintain their dreads, yet all those who did ..even though unemployed said they felt they had to to be employable.

this is far far far from the truth.

in all my years of dreading and helping people with dreads there has never once ben a single case of anyone saying their employer said they had to maintain their dreads, nor was there 1 case where anyone was not hired because of messy dreads.... not 1

so if you choose to maintain  that's your choice but it is not  changing perceptions it is not making you more employable ..if anything its making you feel more secure..that's it..nothing more




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
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