Standing up for your dreads

i couldnt have said it better myself

dreads can be a filter of sorts

what you want in a lover is someone who will love you even if your face was burned severely someday

not someone who will be turned off by you if you change your hair or gain a few pounds Earthiest said:

Exactly! When I told my fiance that I was growing natural dreads at first he was skeptical, he admires those he sees with them, but wasn't sure for me. I remember asking him if he thought he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore if I had them, but he said he was more concerned with how other people would judge me and react... I told him that I needed to do this for myself and that perhaps I could be an "eye opener" for close minded, uneducated peopled on the beauty of dreadlocks (soooo very many people out there are misinformed...so sad). After I started my journey and he has seen the "messy" beginning look, I ask him again, "are you still attracted to me?" and he said at first he was a little worried, but after actually seeing the process he likes how it looks.

Moral of the story: No matter what, love is love. If he is only loving you for looks, then he's not really loving YOU. In a true soulmate-ship, you only want the best for your partner and you will support them in what makes them happy even if it's not necessarily something you would choose.

Good luck to you

Jake Cooper said:

Just tell him it's part of who you are.

If he loves you then he'll understand soon enough.

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1
updated by @soaring-eagle: 07/03/15 06:11:57AM

Sadly I live in New Jersey...lol Do I really need to explain? >.<

soaring eagle said:

i couldnt have said it better myself

dreads can be a filter of sorts

what you want in a lover is someone who will love you even if your face was burned severely someday

not someone who will be turned off by you if you change your hair or gain a few pounds Earthiest said:

Exactly! When I told my fiance that I was growing natural dreads at first he was skeptical, he admires those he sees with them, but wasn't sure for me. I remember asking him if he thought he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore if I had them, but he said he was more concerned with how other people would judge me and react... I told him that I needed to do this for myself and that perhaps I could be an "eye opener" for close minded, uneducated peopled on the beauty of dreadlocks (soooo very many people out there are misinformed...so sad). After I started my journey and he has seen the "messy" beginning look, I ask him again, "are you still attracted to me?" and he said at first he was a little worried, but after actually seeing the process he likes how it looks.

Moral of the story: No matter what, love is love. If he is only loving you for looks, then he's not really loving YOU. In a true soulmate-ship, you only want the best for your partner and you will support them in what makes them happy even if it's not necessarily something you would choose.

Good luck to you

Jake Cooper said:

Just tell him it's part of who you are.

If he loves you then he'll understand soon enough.

Sounds like a confidence issue with him...he maybe sees your actions asreflecting embarassment not at you but himself and he cant take the judgement that he gives out so freely. I see parents do this all the time. They insist that little johnny or mary keep their hair combed and tidy bc they thing it reflects badly on them. Maybe he should look into that a little more. Dont let his insecurities bother you wear your hair proud and confident, I have a feeling that if he saw other people diggin' ur dreads then he would change his mind (sad but often true). If he cant get past the dreads he would have a hell of a time getting past the other ways a woman grows and changes overtime. But if I had to guess he will grow up and not depend on what others think so much. You look beautiful in your pic.

HAHA I'm in NJ too'] South Jersey...

I think this is sooo well said! I have found alot of people who are down on dreads have the assumption that they are dirty, so they are turned off. My husband and daughters thought this at first. After I gave them the run down on what dreads were really about they supported me all the way (2 of my 3 daughters are now dreading too!). Infact, there are days where I feel messy and unattractive and my family says, "No Mom, you look great...don't worry. Your dreads are cool." So, maybe explore that with your BF...find out if he assumes they are dirty or what it is about them specifically that he doesn't like. Guys are funny...I have heard guys say that they hate alot of make up...but, if it isapplied well and looks natural...they don't know the difference. Good luck! I think you look fantastic

Patty Haynes said:

Sounds like a confidence issue with him...he maybe sees your actions asreflecting embarassment not at you but himself and he cant take the judgement that he gives out so freely. I see parents do this all the time. They insist that little johnny or mary keep their hair combed and tidy bc they thing it reflects badly on them. Maybe he should look into that a little more. Dont let his insecurities bother you wear your hair proud and confident, I have a feeling that if he saw other people diggin' ur dreads then he would change his mind (sad but often true). If he cant get past the dreads he would have a hell of a time getting past the other ways a woman grows and changes overtime. But if I had to guess he will grow up and not depend on what others think so much. You look beautiful in your pic.

Me too! Atlantic County!

ExaltHimx7 said:

HAHA I'm in NJ too'] South Jersey...

Yeah it definitely IS a confidence issue. He is always concerned about what people think. We are TOTAL opposites...lol It makes things interesting. I've explained to him that dreads are NOT dirty but he's not listening. I think over time, he'll see and learn to accept them. If not...it's his problem.

Panterra Caraway said:

I think this is sooo well said! I have found alot of people who are down on dreads have the assumption that they are dirty, so they are turned off. My husband and daughters thought this at first. After I gave them the run down on what dreads were really about they supported me all the way (2 of my 3 daughters are now dreading too!). Infact, there are days where I feel messy and unattractive and my family says, "No Mom, you look great...don't worry. Your dreads are cool." So, maybe explore that with your BF...find out if he assumes they are dirty or what it is about them specifically that he doesn't like. Guys are funny...I have heard guys say that they hate alot of make up...but, if it isapplied well and looks natural...they don't know the difference. Good luck! I think you look fantastic

Patty Haynes said:

Sounds like a confidence issue with him...he maybe sees your actions asreflecting embarassment not at you but himself and he cant take the judgement that he gives out so freely. I see parents do this all the time. They insist that little johnny or mary keep their hair combed and tidy bc they thing it reflects badly on them. Maybe he should look into that a little more. Dont let his insecurities bother you wear your hair proud and confident, I have a feeling that if he saw other people diggin' ur dreads then he would change his mind (sad but often true). If he cant get past the dreads he would have a hell of a time getting past the other ways a woman grows and changes overtime. But if I had to guess he will grow up and not depend on what others think so much. You look beautiful in your pic.