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letting go- how my loopy dreads point out neurosis

Aya Heartright
@aya-heartright
7 years ago
91 posts

:sigh:

I'm starting to understand why so many spiritual paths regard dreads with high esteem. I see my emotions being so tied to these little knots, and seeing how my reactions to them also reflect how I react in the "outside world," so to speak.

I started this post to complain about my loops and how I HATE them, they drive me batty. Really they do. The last few days I have been waking up not exciting thinking "oh cool, I wonder what my dreads are doing now?" But instead "Oh GOD, I wonder what those little punks are doing now." They are only a little over a month old but I feel like I am raising teenagers that once they find out something annoys me it's the coolest thing in the world. lol.

Then a little voice whispered "just let it go,"... but... but... but.. they are so loopy! Zigg Zaggy, you just don't understand!! "Really? Is it the loops and shrinkage that annoy you or the lack of control?" said the voice. I was left in silence. Are the loops what are annoying or the fact that I have to wait for my perfect dreads? Or accepting that my perfect dreads by nature might be absolutely chaotic?

I'm not too sure if I am looking for reassurance that my crazy hair will settle down in to "beautiful" uniform dreads one day, preferably soon.... or if I am just looking for someone to tell me to shut up and enjoy the ride. Who would have thought that a hair style would have such profound effects on me?

I've always thought of myself as a spiritual person but to be blown away by the wisdom of my hair is very humbling to say the least.


updated by @aya-heartright: 10/09/17 09:14:49AM
Shanxon Lemasters
@shanxon-lemasters
7 years ago
411 posts

This is MUCH like what I've learned in this process!

Angel Frye
@angel-frye
7 years ago
409 posts

Yes, absolutely. Lack of control is what drives most of us batty in the beginning. We're used to being able to use products which smooth and separate the hair nicely and now we can't. So our nerves are shot to shit, naturally. It can most definitely bring out some OCD behavior.

When a lock starts eating all the hair around it like a hungry monster.... patience.....Separate. And patiently wait for the cranky teenager to grow a bit wiser and older.

Or, you can wrap a few of the worst offenders loosely with embroidery thread in a wonky braided criss-cross pattern and let the other hair around it figure out what it's doing. Then alternate which ones are wrapped and which ones aren't so they can mature without being so bossy in one another's territory. They really are like cranky kids. They need separation from time to time. That's what I did yesterday because one lock started gobbling up all the hair around it. I had to painfully rip it apart. It was hell. My lesson learned? Learn to love those loopies but pay attention to them when they get hungry. You let them go too long without attention(separating) and you're going to be crying later. Unless you want a few big congos...

Castaway J
@castaway-j
7 years ago
585 posts

totally understand what you mean here. it is quite the experience is it not? you have to love it because in a way it forces you to look at yourself. challenge any other person in the world to look inwards and really have a look at themselves, chances are theyll shut you out of their lives, or avoid the situation all together.

Aya Heartright
@aya-heartright
7 years ago
91 posts

Angel, I am def. planning on wrapping them but I think i want to wait a little bit for them to get phatter. They are still pretty skinny and I'm they get bigger since that's the look I was going for =/ I want them to be more uniform but at the same time I don't want to stunt any growth either.

I just bought a wool tam off of etsy. Hopefully that will do some work and help with my OCD tendencies that I am having.

Angel Frye
@angel-frye
7 years ago
409 posts

Aya, if your gut says wait, then definitely wait. I understand the desire to let them plump up a bit more. The one I wrapped was pitifully thin once it was wrapped. I didn't realize it until I compared it to the monster it came from. But the two were like magnetically attracted to each other and when they were together it pulled my hair painfully. So a choice had to be made. I had to put one of my babies in time out so the other could mature. In two weeks I'll take off the wrap and see what it does.

oO you can find some lovely dreadhead stuff on Etsy. And unfortunately, some wax head 'tards, too, who actually sell their own brand of Wax Nightmare In A Jar. But the beads and the tams and wraps are gorgeous!!! I have quite a few Favorited over there. So much to choose from.

Speaking of wool, I wondered if you'd ever heard of using a knitted/crocheted wool pillowcase instead of a tam? Do you think that'd work? I have a hard time keeping anything on my head in bed. I can crochet. I'm willing to put forth the effort if anyone says it works.

Change: "challenge any other person in the world to look inwards and really have a look at themselves, chances are theyll shut you out of their lives, or avoid the situation all together."

Therapists call that denial, don't they? And your sage bit of wisdom really came in handy this evening when I read it, btw. Perfect timing. Bright spark, you are appreciated.
Aya Heartright
@aya-heartright
7 years ago
91 posts

<3

I sleep with my head on an alpaca blanket. It works awesome., haven't tried sheep wool yet... If you are crocheting one DEFINITELY spend the extra few bucks and get alpaca hybrid wool. It is so much softter (I used to raise alpacas) and I think knots just as well.

Janice
@janice
7 years ago
49 posts

You brilliant, precious soul! How eloquently you have put my own struggle into words this day! Thank you for sharing. I am so glad I didn't just go to a salon to have my locs done, as I would have missed out on this very important aspect of my journey. Hang in there, my dear!

hugs from the Great White North

Angel Frye
@angel-frye
7 years ago
409 posts

Alpaca it is, Aya! Wool is rather scratchy....

There are some wonderful Etsy artisans who raise alpacas and sell their raw loose wool or even twist it themselves into yarn. I'll check them out. Thanks!

Patience = natty hair love.

Aya Heartright
@aya-heartright
7 years ago
91 posts

Are you going to buy 100% alpaca wool or like an 80/20 or even a 60/40 mix? 100% alpaca is really hard to work with because the hairs are really fine. Think of sheep wool as coarse thick strands dreading and alpaca wool as fine silky hair dreading and that's what the process of turning it into yarn is like. You need to be careful who twists it otherwise you are going to be doing it again yourself (if its 100%) since it comes undone so easy.

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