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Dreadlocks Forums

Second thoughts

Casey Fay
@casey-fay
2 years ago
90 posts

The last few weeks, I have had second thoughts. I am getting ready to enter my seventh month and frankly my hair is unsettling to say the least. My hair has strunk so much in the back, but not the front. The dreads are flat and lumpy. I am ripping them to keep them from congoing.But more important, the looks I get ranch from funny to down right nasty. I know when I go out in public, I get judged easily and wrongly.Somehow I started questioning why I did this.All the preparing I did seems to be crumbling. Is this normal???? Is this just a phase of my hair?? Did anyone else question themselves as it gets more real?


updated by @casey-fay: 02/14/15 11:49:44AM
Sarahface
@sarah16
2 years ago
108 posts

You should post up photos so we can give you some feedback on how they are coming along. Sometimes the best thing is to have people that know what you're going through take a look at your progress and compare it to what they have experienced and give you encouragement. The best thing I've personally learned about growing dreadlocks is letting go. Over time they become more and more special and going through the process really teaches you patience. I'm sure they are coming along beautifully, keep it up. Seven months isn't long for a lot of hair types to start maturing. Most of mine are still in teenage stages and I'm nearly a year and a half in. :P And I love mine more and more every day. Best of luck!

Anna Blocker
@anna-blocker
2 years ago
25 posts

Mine did this, and still is somewhat longer in the front, and i have a few that were too big so i separated them which made the ends come undone, therefore they are strangely longer than the rest.

Its a phase, mine was only that way for a while, and would have been for less time if i hadn't pulled my hair back so much.
People will judge you regardless. I'm so used to being stared at already that my hair only seems to cause them to stare a bit longer and more blatantly. Oh well. So they are rude and have no self control, so what? You are going to let a strangers opinion dictate how YOU choice to wear your hair?
Let your hair go. The point of dreads is to relinquish your need for control, gain power from freedom.
Let others opinions and judgement go. How can you be YOU, if you let others who aren't even part of your life, just people without decency, have such an affect on you?

Wishing you strength on your path :)

(p.s. lumpy bumpy dreads are the best!)

Karen Guy
@karen-guy
2 years ago
36 posts
Definitely hang in there. I am at the end of my 9th month and I started out with hair just past my breasts and it has shrunk to just above my shoulders! I also have 4 sections of hair on the side of my head, close to the front that have barely begun to dread so I understand the frustration. I have wanted dreads for about 20yrs and I never would just let go in fear of my hair shrinking. You never know how much your hair will shrink and well mine did shrink! I would say about 60-70% of the length is gone. I know this is a process and it will continue to change and my dreads will grow. I also have lumpy bumpy dreads, it's OK just let them be, they will work themselves out. I just keep telling myself this will take time & patience. Hang in there. Your dreads will be beautiful.
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
2 years ago
27,420 posts

lets see some pics

but really the judgement u get is 1 of the best ;arts thAt make u stronger as a person

many christians look at dreading as a negative because of a line in the biblesaying to keep the hairlong on a man is shaqmeful

but rerally what its saying is thats a positive that makees you stroinger morwe connected

the back dreads fastesat so will shrink more at 1st the front will catch up

but lets see pics im sure they look great




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Maria Tyler
@maria-tyler
2 years ago
5 posts
Hang in there!My hair has also shrunk quite a bit. I started with waist-length hair. That was 10 months ago. My hair is now just past my shoulders.-- about HALF the length that it was! And it is lumpy and bumpy and I LOVE it that way. It has so much personality. Don't worry about the looks. 'Letting go' is not just about not brushing your hair... it is also about releasing the hold that other people, places and things have on you. I am sure your hair is wonderful -- the fact that it is shrinking tells me so.Post some pics! Peace.
taye
@taye
2 years ago
836 posts

My hair was to my lower back. It shrank for 2 years. It took 4 years to grow back to the original length. I have a lot of people that come up to me and ask about my hair. I tell every single one of them that the first year is hard. My hair looked awful. Scarves were my best friend. I just did not look at myself in the mirror.

The point is most people who start dreads don't make it past 6 months. They give up. They do not have a vision of what is to come. Their vanity keeps them from continuing the journey. That is why long dreads are not seen often but short dreads are everywhere. I see a lot more synthetic long dreads (extensions)than I do natural ones.

People are always going to stare. Dreads are different. Dreads are misunderstood. People look at me all the time. I could care less. Their opinions are not our business. Their opinion belongs to them and can not effect us unless we let it. You started your journey for your own reasons...not for them. You know the old saying....you can't please everyone...but you can please yourself :) This is what my hair looked like at around 6 months. It was a mess but I promise it gets better :)

Jimmy DC
@jimmy-dc
2 years ago
87 posts

Hey man no idea how old you are, but I started my dreading by the end of my senior year in a town that is very preppy/rich suburban area in CT. And well most of my friends and teachers have not really seen somebody with dreads before, other than bob marley and sadly Lil wayne haha. But yeaa I got both support and questioning to my decision. But I found the secret formula, give zeros. That simple, those who support and think your air is awesome might desire to do the same as you but due to fear to judgement haven't even started. If somebody looks at you wrong and is judging you hard, smile back and wave (I've done it) and those people will feel bad because they realize that their ignorance in judging somebody due to their hair or appearance shows poorly on their part. And if they don't feel bad, doesn't matter, you most likely wouldn't want that person as a friend. Life is as simple as you make it, we're not the center of the world, maybe that person is having a bad day or has bad sight and you might think they are looking at you strangely. I work as a cashier in a supermarket and go to uni(summer now tho) And I have mostly experienced positive experiences. If you smile at somebody it is very likely that they'll smile back, that's what I try to do, and people see that I am a friendly individual and small talk mostly about my hair and how long I've grown it and all this other stuff comes up, and they leave smiling. Some people are just grouchy but we all have crappy days so I try to now judge them even when they give me an attitude, I also have to suck it up, but I just brush it off, no need to worry about it. Keep the dreading up man, you're getting lots of support from us, and probably close friends at home, maybe not family, but I think growing dreads shows maturity and an opportunity to grow as a person and get past society's norms, and many of the norms are just outdated tradition, or pure prejudice and judgement, which I hope as a society we grow out of. Well best of luck man, keep those dreads up and separating is a pain but we gotta do what we gotta do, at least we're not combing haha

Black Ralph, Has No Name
@black-ralph-has-no-name
2 years ago
8 posts

I can tell you that natural locks won't be perfect. Some will be flat, some will be zig zag. I currently have a weird round dome lock on the back of my head. It's just the way it is. Nothing is perfect.

Why did you decide to go with locks? You say you get looked at and whatnot, but what did you think would happen? Don't you look when someone walks down the street with blue mohawk? Screw everyone else and what they think. I have many, many reasons for letting my hair lock up, but one of those reasons was I wanted people to know I was different, that I wasn't one of them. I expect looks, I don't care what so ever what anyone thinks about me. I'm proud to be the person I am and I like the way I look.

That's a cool thing about locks. They teach you to just let things go, go in which ever direction the wind may take you, you are who/the way you are and that's just the way you need to be.

I guess some advice I can give you is to really think of what you want/expect from having locks. Maybe you'll decide that it's not for you, that the attention is too much. Believe me you'll get everyone's dumbass opinion or comment about your hair. Or maybe you'll see the beauty in it and why you wanted locks in the first place, possibly even come up with a whole new reason for locking up your hair.

In the end just do what makes you happy and what you feel is true to you. Fuck everyone else. I wish the best of luck to you and much love.

Janice Gallagher
@janice-gallagher
2 years ago
1 posts
I am about 4 weeks deep and find myself pondering about my dread decision a lot. Being a 24 year old girl, in a new home (from Kansas living in Florida since February), having two kids, living near my in-laws... all these things make me take everything into consideration. But as many have mentioned before me, this isn't for anyone other than myself. And I find there are some super rad people I am meeting via hashtags on instagram or on here that are on a similar, yet different, journey with locks.Patience is something I need to improve upon, and I believe this will help me. I also tend to have self esteem issues and I think this may be a huge step toward resolving them. I hope you find what you seek!
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