n/a

Yup. Letters aren't for everyone. My family can be very non confrontational but when there is confrontation...watch the hell out! So letters worked for us to keep things on a more even keel. Things got much better once I moved out at 18 and found my own space to exist in.

Parental love is a crazy thing. It's very hard to kill but occasionally it does need time to recuperate from the bumps and bruises of life. Even if mom is angry right now time will pass and she will find better things to worry about than your hair. Sometimes perspective takes time. Just take it slow and have patience with her.

You really need to make sure you remain calm. You want to come off as maturely as possible when you talk to her about your hair. In her mind you are just a kid even if you are technically an adult. The more maturity you can muster the better things will go

Baba is right. Your mom just wants the best for you and in her world view dreadlocks will hinder that. You have to show her that she's running on outdated information and that you won't be a smelly bum.

I really hope things go well. Keep us updated.

updated by @tied-up-in-knots: 07/22/15 07:43:51AM

The job of a parent is to raise their offspring in a loving, secure, safe environment. Once the child has reached maturity, the parent's job is finished. As for me, I am also trying to raise my daughters to be self-confident, independent, and compassionate. I have told them many times that my love for them transcends anything they might do or say, including life choices I may not make for myself. I am sorry that more parents do not raise their kids this way.

You don't sound like living at home is a very healthy thing for you or your mother. There is a much deeper issue here than simply the way you do your hair. I would seriously consider putting some space between you if that would help preserve your relationship.

Best wishes on your journey,

A Loving Mother.

When my mother figured out that there was something... different... going on with my hair, I didn't say anything about dreads. I just said that I quit using such harsh products on my hair; ya know, getting away from the cetyl alcohols and all that. But a month later when the loopies attacked for the first time the cat was out of the bag. I looked like a hot mess and her eyes got quite wide. So I made light of it. "It's a process, letting my hair lock up. It's HAIR. I can always change it any time I want and that's the fun part of having HAIR."

Her eyebrow twitches every once in a while when she looks at my hair but 99% of the time she's accepted that I've got an experimental soul. I shaved my head, dyed it rainbow colors, you name it. I've done it all. I think my mother has gotten more mellow in her old age(THANK GOD!) but she still can cut me to the quick with a look.

One of the quirkiest things she's said to me so far was, "I don't like what you've done with your hair but you're a good Mom. That's all that really matters."

In my head I'm thinking, wtf? But then it hit me: she's finally separated my HAIR from ME and now she sees ME instead of wanting to nag about my hair. Does that make sense?

Jasper, good or bad, either way that conversation goes, I encourage you to use light hearted rationality to keep your cool. It's just hair, right? *smile*

Oh, and you can always put a handkerchief over your hair to keep the confrontations to a minimum to give her time to accept it.You need to keep your hair loose and free as possible to continue the locking process but a handkerchief is the most modest way I can think of to get your hair out of close minded people's view.