Forum Activity for @honeybee

getting obliterraated is the worxdse thing u can do
stop that
try a greif councelor 1st
if the greif councelors not helpful enough id recomend a mourning cerimony you might not like this but
1 take all objects that remind u of him and remove them from the home except a couple special items to be used in the cerimony
next cut your hair dreads hold all our past experiences and at times it is appropriate to seperate from our past to move on this might be 1 of thiose times
next, burry those few items u set aside along with your dreads while saying what you need to say to him then releasing him ..and yourself


its probably too soon to concider or do the cerimony tho you need to exoperience the greif begfoere moving on
not in a drunken haze but clear headed
and u need to talk to someone who can help you through this
when he passed they should have offered u the grief counceling especialy because of the nature of it

He loves you, you are not and never will be alone. He'll always be there. I'm going through a really hard loss as well but mine might only be temporary, I still feel your pain and I think that it's easier to go on remembering someone that loves you than to deal with someone who you love when they are confused about their feelings for you. Wish you luck. Just remember, he is around you and always will be waiting for you on the other side.

Getting wasted daily isn't going to do you any good, short or long term. Counselling is your first step. A support group will show you physically that you're not alone & there will be others in similar situations more than willing to help you through the dark times. I sincerely hope you will take the advice the guys here are offering. Developing a destructive habit will make things far worse than they need to be. Please keep yourself focused on all the beautiful, positive things about your life with him & remember you are blessed to have had such a bond. Don't let this beat you.

I'm so sorry this happened. My advice, for what it's worth, is when you begin to go into a funk consciously make a decision to think of good times and memories. The good times are what will get you through. Also, it is cliche but absolutely true, that it will get easier. Time is the great healer. Too, opening up to your friends so that we can help support you is a great step.

Hi,

Very sorry for your loss.

Not sure if this helps but it can't do any harm I guess: I first saw spirits of "deceased" humans when I was 2-3 years old and I've come to learn that nothing or noone ever dies, what we perceive as death is instead a continuation of life..just in another form.
In my experience our memories, experiences, thoughts and emotions remain intact, and our love connects the 2 densities of life in a bond that can never be broken.

I'm not saying that it's wrong to grieve or that you should let anyone tell you how to feel and for how long... just saying that even tho such a 'seperation' leaves us feeling like we're left alone in a pit of despair, we are really never alone - our loved ones are only a thought or emotion away.

Best wishes

I backcombed both my sets and have no regrets.

I'd had my first set for 6 years, and for various reasons I combed them out. But I just didn't feel like "me" anymore without dreads. After a 6-month break and another 3 months trying the patience method and not getting anywhere, I wasn't willing to wait any longer... I was impatient to get back to having dreads, so I took the backcombing shortcut. I'm very happy with how they turned out. I have a few twist & rip dreads and they took awhile to get going, but I love how they've developed all wavy and zig-zaggy!

Would I try the full-on patience method again, if I ever started another set? I honestly don't know. I totally get the philosophy behind the patience method, but I don't know if it's for me. I've embraced patience, spirituality and mellowness in many other aspects of my life (which is already a huge change from my pre-dreads personality) so I honestly don't feel like I'm missing out on any of the lessons that the patience method teaches. I dunno. It's just not a big deal in my personal dread journey, but much respect to those who fully embrace it.

I am curious to try twist & rip next time, but frankly, I don't see much difference between that and backcombing -- both are shortcuts for forming sections and getting tangles started. The only real difference is whether you use a comb or your fingers.