One sad thing your hair could just be thinning. It does happen as we get older. One of my friends had a thick head of hair at 23 and at 27 was almost bald. Genetics, what can you do?
Forum Activity for @javalizard
dreadticians who see dreads as branches of tree of life?
Introduce Yourself
DaThrill I've read it 3 times and I'm not so sure. Perhaps he is more so asking for a priestess?
Who Am I?
Introduce Yourself
I'm sure most people hate what I think. What can I say I am not liberal or conservative. I try to look at that middle line. Often times it is the cry for rationalism that people hate the most. But thank you for putting that aside to hear/read me out on this one.
If you look at all my posts you will see my arguments usually fall in the middle or slightly towards what keeps the peace better. I feel that the family unit should never be guided by an outside force. I think all things in the family should go into that unit first, second and until peace isn't possible.
fire dancer said:
While I don't always agree with your statements, Java, this one is dead on! When I started my journey, my husband was nearing the end of his 17 year Naval career (midigating circumstances ended it 3 years prematurely). I feel that I am a direct reflection of him, especially then when we lived/shopped on base, we or I could run into any number of people that could make or break his promotions! At any rate, I made sure that he was completely on board before I began. It was actually him who pushed me towards starting sooner rather than later! He has since been medically separated and he has not had a hair cut or shaved since 6/2012! I guess my point is, marriage it a partnership and you absolutely have to consider the others feelings before moving forward.
JavaLizard said:As a husband I had the conversation with my wife first. I am my wife's and she is mine. I reflect on her as she does me. We talked showed pictures, possibilities of what my hair could look like etc. It sounds more like your husband was just not happy with the idea of dreadlocks because of misconceptions.
For my wife once I mentioned them, in her own words, "(I) She pictured some dirty hippy white kids with dirty looking hair" My wife is white by the way, and a naval officer-I have yet to meet one with dreads in 10 years( an on a quick note my wife says that cornrows are allowed but not dreads. IF they are then they have to be a certain length and clean and presentable, and be able to be put up.), but a lot of Americans, including one hot forum topic here, do not think of good looking dreadlocks. They picture the stereotypical burn out college kid. Sad but true, my own wife couldn't picture a black person with dreads.
I, and Im one of the most conservative here I'm finding, say take a good conversation with your husband, it may be a really long one, mine was 3 months. But the journey is a TON easier when your spouse supports you. We talked about it long enough that even my kids want them!
Everyone loves the , my body, my hair.. but when we are married it isn't just about us. And your husband, I guess the better question is do you go to nice places now that require dress codes etc..? I've been to some places where you had to be clean shaven to get in. He might also fear other perceiving you as the stereotype and including him in it. In the long run it isn't what others think and feel, but in the short run how people react to you makes certain steps in life less difficult.
Not being racist, or subjugating women, or anything, but rather saying, as a husband I would really like it if my wife spoke to me first. And out of respect I spoke to my wife first. It would be great and dandy if we all lived in a world where we could express ourselves however we want and be accepted and accepting (ironically most people who want to be accepted don't accept others values etc..) but we don't so we should strive to live at peace with all men when possible
Who Am I?
Introduce Yourself
As a husband I had the conversation with my wife first. I am my wife's and she is mine. I reflect on her as she does me. We talked showed pictures, possibilities of what my hair could look like etc. It sounds more like your husband was just not happy with the idea of dreadlocks because of misconceptions.
For my wife once I mentioned them, in her own words, "(I) She pictured some dirty hippy white kids with dirty looking hair" My wife is white by the way, and a naval officer-I have yet to meet one with dreads in 10 years( an on a quick note my wife says that cornrows are allowed but not dreads. IF they are then they have to be a certain length and clean and presentable, and be able to be put up.), but a lot of Americans, including one hot forum topic here, do not think of good looking dreadlocks. They picture the stereotypical burn out college kid. Sad but true, my own wife couldn't picture a black person with dreads.
I, and Im one of the most conservative here I'm finding, say take a good conversation with your husband, it may be a really long one, mine was 3 months. But the journey is a TON easier when your spouse supports you. We talked about it long enough that even my kids want them!
Everyone loves the , my body, my hair.. but when we are married it isn't just about us. And your husband, I guess the better question is do you go to nice places now that require dress codes etc..? I've been to some places where you had to be clean shaven to get in. He might also fear other perceiving you as the stereotype and including him in it. In the long run it isn't what others think and feel, but in the short run how people react to you makes certain steps in life less difficult.
Not being racist, or subjugating women, or anything, but rather saying, as a husband I would really like it if my wife spoke to me first. And out of respect I spoke to my wife first. It would be great and dandy if we all lived in a world where we could express ourselves however we want and be accepted and accepting (ironically most people who want to be accepted don't accept others values etc..) but we don't so we should strive to live at peace with all men when possible
New Dreads
dread wax and dread kits recovery
I'm assuming you used dread wax and a kit. If you are at a few days redo it, or get dread wax removal, do that.. then a dance,
Natural process 9 months.. doubts
Introduce Yourself
Dude hard call.I can see where they are going, sometimes that is a hard thing to do, finish the ride. It all depends really on why you have them, fashion, self expression, spirituality. Then depending on the reason you can justify keeping them or cutting them.
Just plain mean
Life Issues Facing Dreads
Rook Bee said:
Guys can i say...i think the person who wrote this is firstly female, jealous, probably has shite hair, violent, clueless of history (actually anything abut locs) and yes is racist, yes does have a point on the stereotypical side of things but isfar from factual here. We are alll going waaay overboarrd.
Totally agree Java "I never said anyone deserves to be harassed, but rather if one is then they shouldn't be offended. When you purposely choose to go against society there are some consequences. Being in Australia is different than the USA, so take things with a grain of salt.
No by reaching a mutual end means you can accept what they say as their point of view, in truer words, tolerance. One doesn't need to betray anything to tolerate another. Why would I judge you? That is an assumption. You are totally entitled to your opinion and world view. However don't read into things, that is one reason this thread is so long. If you read again when I was mentioning mutual end, it was in regard to helping people understand your point of view."
We have to accept locs arent really "accepted" by most...if we cant accept / get over the critism that WILL come with dreads then we shouldnt have them reaallly!
Brad: Don't you think that dreading your hair is quite rebellious..thus bringing a broad range of critism for us to learn to tolerate and deal with peacefully? you seem so uptight that anyone wuld ever say dreads aare dirty....its the biggest misconception of them!
You say "I must reach a mutual end' with them? is that to agree to what they say and betray my own beliefs and accept that hate and racism(dont matter what race you are) is acceptable?"
It would help you to find that innner peace that doesnt agree with this discrimination but that can see it thru the eyes of the hater to their words, partially understand their thoughts and even if anything pity / sympathise with their closed minded view...then return to comfort that you know better...dont let it infect you with anger....find peace in your own knowledge
Just plain mean
Life Issues Facing Dreads
Thank you Kerry,
Kerry LoCo said:
I saw that a few months ago before I started my dreads. Yes, it bothered me at first until I remembered that every stereotype has its roots in a little bit of truth, as painful as it sounds. I hope one day the author will meet whites with dreads that fall outside of the stereotype and change the author's mind.
Just plain mean
Life Issues Facing Dreads
I said they are racist from a certain point of view. There was a sense of absurdity there, I mean seriously to say two races are completely racist and mean it all encompassing?I'm not too concerned at the length
Brad Spitt said:
It seems i took what you said totally different to what you sayyou may have ment. No i dont have to accept going against the robots of masses means i deserve to be harrassed.I didnt accept what was taught to me by schools and the system that we all must be the same and not be different.No i dont and will not accept we should be tolerent of racism,maybe i must be tolerent the next time i see a skinhead beating on a immigrant and 'say hey its cool man,i must not get angry, let it all be'.. I wont bow down to the sheeple brainwashed theory of being tolerant to hatred,i will speak up and express my thoughts. I will read into things as most who say not to are protecting the real agenda. And when a black man says all blacks and hispanic are racist i take it your saying your racist so i assume you would judge me as your judging every one in both races or are you the only one who is not racist out of the word 'all'?,i just took what you said man. And if your worried about how long this thread is getting,why you commenting on what everyone says.. See you put stuff out there and it can be taken in many ways
Just plain mean
Life Issues Facing Dreads
Well said Tim
Tim said:
Why do we have a need for our "look" to be accepted?
It is our choice to have dreadlocks, tattoos and piercings etc. I personally feel a spiritual connection to my dreadlocks and I certainly do not feel it is a simple choice, I feel it is more of a destiny, but at the end of the day it is a choice. I live in a semi rural town in Australia. I can see conservative people looking at me in a strange way, I do not expect anyone to accept the way I look, especially when they come from a conservative background, and have very little experience with people who look differently to themselves. I feel that would be unfair of me to expect that.
I do not feel insulted in any way at all that my outer garments or hair be judged. I am not saying that I accept violence, I believe peace is the only way in every aspect of life.
A fire has never been extinguished with a flame.
Violence cannot be stopped with violence, or even subtle violence. Shouting, swearing, getting angry or even thinking angrily are all acts of violence.
Until we all meet violence head on with a peaceful mind, the world will not move forward in the great way it needs to.
peace and many blessings to all
tim