Hello... I have to say, u are a symbol of true strength n will power. You have by now answered all those people who said that you were a lost cause. I am a student of psychology myself, and i know how much tormented a kid may feel when he/she is abused. It lowers the child's self esteem and makes her feel cursed because of which she starts hating herself in most cases.. It can create agitative violent behavior as the kid grows up.. criminalisation of such kids when they grow young can be another major issue.. In ur case maybe the panic attacks were because of the early age abuse. U need a really really patient counsellor to deal with kids who go through sex abuse, main reason being that they are not as mature as grown ups to understand (even when told) that it never was their fault.
Your story n introduction has really filled my heart with multiple emotions. but it has also given me n a lot of those who have read this a sense of hope... You are extremely courageous and im so glad that u are living an independent life where u know how simple things can lead us to happiness and satisfaction. Please keep following ur heart, stay good to urself and ur loved ones the scar will slowly heal. even if it doesn't heal fully, trust me it will only enhance ur beauty. if the panic attacks ever happen again, try breathing deep with ur nose and realeasing with the mouth.. cover ur mouth with ur hands in cupped postion.. (i dont know how to explain ths better) and breathe deep. only and only focus on the word 'relax'..
Keep up with the meditation and yoga.. it really does help in uplifting your mood. and please... keep playing the guitar.. :P Good luck and late welcome.. :P Lol..