Late introduction... That's so me

Hello... I have to say, u are a symbol of true strength n will power. You have by now answered all those people who said that you were a lost cause. I am a student of psychology myself, and i know how much tormented a kid may feel when he/she is abused. It lowers the child's self esteem and makes her feel cursed because of which she starts hating herself in most cases.. It can create agitative violent behavior as the kid grows up.. criminalisation of such kids when they grow young can be another major issue.. In ur case maybe the panic attacks were because of the early age abuse. U need a really really patient counsellor to deal with kids who go through sex abuse, main reason being that they are not as mature as grown ups to understand (even when told) that it never was their fault.

Your story n introduction has really filled my heart with multiple emotions. but it has also given me n a lot of those who have read this a sense of hope... You are extremely courageous and im so glad that u are living an independent life where u know how simple things can lead us to happiness and satisfaction. Please keep following ur heart, stay good to urself and ur loved ones the scar will slowly heal. even if it doesn't heal fully, trust me it will only enhance ur beauty. if the panic attacks ever happen again, try breathing deep with ur nose and realeasing with the mouth.. cover ur mouth with ur hands in cupped postion.. (i dont know how to explain ths better) and breathe deep. only and only focus on the word 'relax'..

Keep up with the meditation and yoga.. it really does help in uplifting your mood. and please... keep playing the guitar.. :P Good luck and late welcome.. :P Lol..

A late welcome for a late introduction, everything's perfect with that

Thank you so much for your kind words Ojas, seriously, you made me cry. Because I felt like you were understanding what I've been through, because I felt like it was ok to feel like I'm feeling about all that. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful psychologist. You are so full of empathy, compassion and true love.

I wrote a letter to my pedophile uncle this week, to tell him how much I loved him, and to tell him how deeply he hurt me. I didn't send it yet, and I'm not sure I'll do. But probably. Anyway, I felt so good after writing it. I was crying my soul out, but it felt so really good. I mean, I'm 29 and was abused at 10 and never ever cried out my pain. I have so much compassion for my mom, wich was abused at 12 by the same man (he's her older brother) and never been able to free herself from him in 46 years of suffering. Child abuse is so hard to deal with for children, and for adults those children become. I wish I could do something to help people about this kind of issue in the future...

I still have alot of panic attacks and there is a huge possibility I'll always remain a super agoraphobic, socialy anxious person. I've been diagnosed with a schizotypal personnality disorder with boderline traits (wich is so hard for me to accept and talk about, well, yet). And I suffer from fibromyalgia too. But I'm doing better now with dealing with panic attacks. I know you are totally right and the key is to "keep calm" and BREATH. I so often forget to breath haha. It's been really cold here these past few weeks, so my extreme fatigue and body pain (from fibromyalgia) kept me in bed for the most part, but as soon as I can, I'll begin my yoga and meditation routine again. Yoga was what kept me on the surface of my moody river of life for many years. Yoga is my little miracle

Oh, and I totally understand what you mean with the respiration technique. And I'll definitely keep playing the guitare. This is so soothing