Thank you for posting this. I'm Filipina, I come from a very traditional family and I feel that same pressure. I haven't started my dreads yet (I'm super prepping!), but this is a good reminder of what is to come.If solely ignoring them and being confident doesn't work...I know what I'm going to do, at least for the people that matter. Some background...as a young girl, my mother let my hair grow waaaay down my back, probably almost to my knees until I "accidentally" got gum in my hair and it had to be chopped off. And her and my step dad always love my hair long whenever I'm too lazy to get a hair cut, so needless to say they have always loved my long high maintenance hair more than I do. I know when I finally dread it will be a shock. I'll get bull shit from parents, siblings and dozens of aunts and uncles. They'll give similar but more intense phrases like when I dyed my hair in high school and later on got piercings: "Your hair looks ugly." "What's that on your face? You look silly" "Only entertainers dye their hair and get facial piercings." and I know I'll get, "You'll stink" and "Filipinos don't wear dreads. You're crazy."So for my mother, I'm gonna give her a gift as soon as I dread. I'm giving her a huge box of my shampoos, combs, brushes, conditioners, all the different conditioners and repair crap I've tried, all the various dandruff removers that were useless, the hair dryer I never used that she gave me for Christmas, gel, pomade, hair spray, etc. And if she asks why, I'll say...I love the aesthetics of dreads and she doesn't need to...but I'll tell her all the practical reasons for dreads and correct all the misconceptions. (And if anything the health reason, I have eczema, I need to take shorter/less showers for the benefit of my skin.) Same with my sisters. If they still don't understand and the rest of my family...blah, I won't care. This isn't high school anymore. I won't hear it 24/7. I'm an independent woman and I'm living on my own. I'll only have to semi-put up with it at family parties and even then, I have a car.Hopefully, there's some sort of escape or earplugs, because I know traditionally us brown girls have to live at home with the family FOREVER. And they constantly complain about the same things over and over until there's giving in to their way, the traditional way. I think there's enough strength to ignore them, but if it gets really bad there's always moving out, it's another tradition altered for the better. (Hehe, very drastic I know, but of course I moved out for more than just the freedom of choosing my hairstyle, but choosing my own way of living MY LIFE without the constant judgement, nagging and negative pressure to be a mini version of my parents or some perfect dream child.) But I'm going to stay positive and hope that the people that matter, my mother, my sisters, etc. are going to understand my dread-ucation. They don't have to be inspired enough to want dreads themselves. But I just want them to understand, not bash, and know the reasons why I want dreadlocks.Good luck, stay strong and keep going with the beautiful dreads!
