Is there anyone else who takes out frustration on themselves?

I skinned my finger and im still shakey from the loss of blood. But ive been crying for hours and i cut them off because i love them so much, this story isnt reeally rare either. Ive had so many boards ive demoloshed with my hands. I love skTing man. It hurts, all time. I envy the monks in tibet they can handle outside aggression. It seems like every year around this time comes a great purge of feelings unfortunaley this time i had the hair ive always wanted. Im so sad, i just needed to vent. Maybe advice on how i should treat my mostly 1" long locks now? Should i like let it grow more before i try to start locks again? I feel so horrible, please tell me i'm not the only insane person whose done this... I used to look like coolio paradise days, now my heads nappy and i look like odb coming out tha brooklyn zoo or something oh geez
updated by @john-taylor: 02/14/15 12:13:31PM

Just let your hair grow. Wash it a couple times a week. Don't comb or brush. There is absolutely no need for crocheting or rolling. Dreads form naturally, they don't need to be forced. Just let your hair grow and be.

Thank you, i apologize for the purge, i got asked not to come to confession if i didnt sin the father said.... Eh

ha what?

dont most preist believe breathings a sin? everything u do is a sin?

did u go and tell the preist u feel bad cause u cut your locks and he told u to go aay maybe connfessing to the preist is useless but here you will get the understanding and support u need

just let youir hair grow let it dread as it grows

and swear to never cut it again..

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Ouch. -A lot of people react on impulse to situations, so don't feel bad. Hair grows out, and living with regrets is not living at all :] keep your head up

Thank you all for the support, and i was raised in an aggressive home as a kid so tend to build up my aggression internally and let it out on myself. But i didnt goto a church for guidance this time, but i have before. And they never help all that well. I just feel guilty about it.

let the natu5al dread journey be a healing meditation

you said you crochetted daily?

you realize they wouldnt have lasted another month anyways right? you were doing an insane ammo0unt of harm like a cutter carving at their flesh trying to controll the tears they never let flow you were agressively..violently trying to force dreads knowing dreading was the salvation but going about it all wrong

you got to let go

a cutter can stop the bleeding with tears by just letting out the emotions they try so hard to control

you can stop the agression by letting go let go of the need to contri]ol

dont violently stab at your hair...let youir hair go wild..uncontrolled

this is 7youir healling

when you feel the ned to "fix" it close your eyes empty your mind and just let it go..

cutters and control freaks tend to also suffer from a pressure to be perfect

anything else makes them feel like a total failure to the point where theyd rather die then let others down who hold unrealistic expectations

you demonstrate an unrealistic expectatioin of having perfect dreads in 4 months hence the daily struggle to acheive perfection

that struggles killing you and your dreads and myusrtt be let go

today..you stop that u give up the hook the comb even the mirror

your dreads just are..

you dont see them ..u dont look in the mirror for all you know they never were cut

they have no imperfections needing fixing

they dont bneed to be touched at all nor thought aboiut

(ok u should wash and seperate as needed thats all that u do by feel not sight)

you will not look at them for an entire year

when you next see them you will really feel gratification and acheivement

u reached a natural perfection without having to do anything at all

no stress

no guilt

no agressiveness

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

You're Awesome, bro. I think thats what i needed to hear, i ( to be completely honest) used to self harm. And i havent for years since i had a gnarly scary incident, so it really rung a bell, thank you so much man, very much and ill go with what your saying its an easy thought on my hectic mind. Thank you:)

i sorta suspected but wasnt my place to reveal that but since u felt ok revealling it there aeealot of paralels

and letting go will help u all around as a person

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I feel like this was supposed to happen, its just nature and i reckon this cut on my finger will remind me of where my innward aggression leads. It will give me a good while to heal my mind, body, natty head. I feel alot better now man.