wondering how I should feel about life right now

of course. I must be thankful. for everything. I am so blessed it's disgusting in comparison to the less fortunate. but given just the my own high expectations i tend to force upon myself, just really confused... I really don't know whether I'm a social person or not. I enjoy talking to people, but really just don't like the whole social hustle and bustle of being thrown into situations where you have to make new friends.. well.. it's not so much that as, I hate being thrown into positions where you have to try and project your own image in order for people to like you. and now I'm at a point, where I'm just trying to distinguish who are my real friends, who aren't, and who are just good acquaintences. there are the people I feel i can approach and just talk to, there are the people i deeply admire and would WANT to talk to, and there are the people who i just see around. Facebook tells me I have over 200 friends. Yea.. right... Do I really even need friends? of course I do. I can't try and convince myself I don't, but sometimes I really just feel like being alone. Hell, I'm a pretty solitary person, and frankly, I just don't like trying
updated by @lino-sanchez: 02/14/15 07:36:39AM

wasting my time trying to get people to like me. like at school for instance. people generally like me, but fact of the matter is, they wouldn't ask me to hang with them or anything. so it's like i've been trying to get them to like me.. and for what? social groups are annoying. but the thing is, i can avoid all that. but in terms of the significance of friends, do we really need a ton of friends? people always say that its better to have a few true friends than a whole bunch of not true ones. but what makes a friend a true friend? Is it the fact that I see them all the time? that I've known them since I was little? what if I don't even feel I can have a deep conversation with? What if the one person I feel I have a true connection with, is the person who I've only talked to or seen a couple times? Is it wrong to strive for friends you don't have? What if your friends just don't make you feel good or loved? It is times like these when I just want to say fuck it, and tell myself I'm just going to live in my room all the time, and just work on personal goals. Writing a book, recording songs.. things I want to do, but damn frankly, I couldn't just work on those all effing day! it would be boring as hell and i don't have the discipline! so i can either force myself to stay isolated and try and progress in personal endeavors, throw myself into social situations that make me very uncomftorable, or just gawk at other people's lives on facebook. The last one, is one I hate to say, I do all too frequently... Why do I crave some one else's life? It disturbs me and scares me how unsatisfied and apathetic I feel about my life sometimes. I'm trying very hard to just appreciate everything and not take everything for granted, but I just can't seem to overcome this need I've created for human interaction, an outside life, and love. I want to create my own memories, not just dwell on those of others. sorry, just had to let that all out.

Sounds like you need to go outside and have some fun doing something adrenaline filled.

alotta true freinds u may not even realize are freinds they are the ones willing to piss u off trying to help youthey are not cassual acquaintances but those willing to take that extra step go beyond hanging out to takinmg the time to listen when your downhow u should feel about life doesnt depend on the number of freinds but what u do with your life not your social life but your value if you feel life has value sitting home writing reading creating or searching inwardly then that ios what gives your life worthit doesnt need recognition from peers only from the self.. give your life the value it sdeserves by dsoing what u feel makes your life worthwhile


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

get your ass to the gsthering..you'll be cured


--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

thanks for that, and yeah i totally agree, but the whole imposed desire to find love is just too overwhelming... it's like everything i do, I just want to share with someone else...

hahaha! soaringeagle said:

get your ass to the gsthering..you'll be cured

Been there, dated a crazy...that sent me to jail. I quit looking for love then it found me.But like SE said, the gathering will cure you. I feel the love just thinking about it. I would kill to go to the gathering this year...=( But I won't be able to. lino sanchez said:

thanks for that, and yeah i totally agree, but the whole imposed desire to find love is just too overwhelming... it's like everything i do, I just want to share with someone else...

im serius you'll come out of it a changed person totaly rejuvinated with many freinds u wull never forget a lifetime lino sanchez said:

hahaha!

soaringeagle said:

get your ass to the gsthering..you'll be cured

--
My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

I've been in several "circle of friends" type groups when I was in highschool burned alot of bridges alot of fights and name calling. I stayed in isolation for a 3 years, I just didn't really care to face anyone and I guess I was depressed or something. But I got better and kind of figured I can't really blame any of my problems on anybody else except myself. Through all that bull I think I the only people I could really count on was my family, as much as i dislike my family but its true. I have a few friends that I really consider geniune good friends, that if I do a favor or they do a favor for me. Then I have friends that are nice, but don't really do anything for me.As far as meeting new friends, I think you just have to be yourself, vs having a fake plastic smile persona that ppl see right thru like a act.- not saying you do but I've seen alot of false acting ppl in my life. that just do stuff or act a way to be liked.Don't compare yourself to other people it will only make you angry or jealous. We're all kind of the same. But we all have been delt different cards to play.I also get the feeling that your still in High School, I see maybe 5 ppl i went to High school with, be prepared to never see or hear from 95% of your graduating class.Maybe you have social axiety or something. good luck