So, I'm seeking some advice on my situation.
Basically, after 2 and a half year of living with my partner, whom I saw myself marrying, kids, house the whole 9 yards.. He also agreed that we were the perfect match for each other; spiritually, energetically, vibrationally and compatibly. However, we had gone through some intense situations throughout our relationship, but what relationship doesn't? I'm not talking crazy abuse, but disagreements here and there.
Well recently we had an argument that was definitely the worst one yet.. and after taking a break and giving each other space for a couple of weeks, I'm back at the house we lived together in, with him.. but everything feels different.. the love that we have for each other is still there.. yet we both feel distant.. him more than me it seems.. He brings up a lot of the issues we encountered in the past and doesn't seem to be able to move forward.. Where as I have been able to move forward, learn, grow and not do the same thing twice in my futures. I was so disappointed to have a conversation with him that involved us going separate ways, after believing so much in our love that I only saw him in my future, and our future together. Now I'm faced with the difficulty of living with him, while not being with him.. until he figures out if he feels like things are worth working on..while we still share the bedroom.
This brings tears to my eyes, because I value myself so much that it's my expectation that the partner I'm with after knowing me that long should know if I'm worth fighting for , if our relationship is worth saving.
But we are young, 22&24 and he has a friend that lives the "single" life.. my partner claims he only wants to be with me but that the things we have gone through have been "a lot " for him I'm starting to think that I'm too much woman for him, too intense, or just really not compatible with him anymore...
The hardest part, that I'm seeking advice on , is while I'm living here he wants to be cuddly, act like were together at times, wants to hang out with me- yet he doesn't want to commit.. and now I'm confused if I should move on because I know there are "a million fish in the sea" and perhaps there is someone else out there for me in the future??
I don't know how I feel about it, because I really believed he was a true love of mine. That was going to last.. How do I change that idea I have in my mind? How do I choose if I should go my own path and not stay here waiting for him to tell me if he really wants to be with me again or not?
A part of me is curious to know what else is out there.. but a big part of me knows the love we have and had was so amazing, unlike anything with anyone else, I would hope that I could find that again?
He's also been making me feel like everything has been my fault when I know it's not, but he's not trying to make me feel bad but it iss he was a great boyfriend and theres not much that I have to complain about other than things involving communication.. this whole thing is so confusing.. first true loves.. first house..2 cats!! .. (that would be staying with him if I left) It just doesn't seem fair or right for me to feel like I'm being dangled by a string.. I need clarity.. I can't seem to decide for myself.. why can't I find more strength and confidence to make life decisions to better my life? I feel scared to be alone on my own for the first time.. and I'm addicted to his love I know he wants my love as well, hence why he doesn't want me to move out.. but is that him wanting the cake and eating it too? He's not the type of guy to sleep around.. But he is independent
I need more independence, strength, courage, clarity, and most of all, words of wisdom!
Thank you everyone who took the time to read this and endure my situation.. <3 and peace.
updated by @marissa-victoria: 10/17/19 10:22:14AM