Well, your friends' dreads might look neat and everything, but they're not meant to be "hard" cos that's a sign that wax is still in there. I used a tiny bit of wax when I first started, and I got it out, so maybe they have too, but just because wax looks like it dreads hair neatly and quickly doesn't mean it does. People don't even really use wax to keep them neat, more because they think it locks them up quicker, but it does the opposite.
Also, wash them whenever you want. Clean hair dreads faster, and even if they do unravel, it doesn't matter cos they dread up again. If you never want to risk them unravelling, you'll have to not wash your hair for a few months, I'd imagine, so that's no good.
And why do you want dreads if you're afraid of the stereotypes surrounding them? Even people with neat dreads are judged, and the only way to truly keep your head looking frizz-free and everything is to do things that damage the dreads themselves. So, I mean...I get not wanting to look really messy, but are dreads really something that you'll be happy with if you can't accept the actual nature of dreads? You can tie them back or use aloe vera to tidy them up when you need to. But messiness is ALWAYS a part of dreading. Always. Not combing your hair for months and letting it tangle is always going to create untidiness, and the methods used to get rid of that mess is detrimental to the dreading process, or the dreads themselves.
Oh, and don't keep them covered up as much as possible. The opposite. Keeping them covered up often tends to stop your hair from moving about freely. And remember to separate your dreads when they start joining together, because that stops them from growing together, which is what you say you don't want.
updated by @tara-c: 07/09/15 09:57:31PM
