Yes, definitely be gentle with yourself. We are our own worst enemies. I've learned so much about myself over the last year, I'm no where near the same person I used to be. I think my dreadies, Buddhism and Nar-Anon for the changes I've had the courage to make in myself.

One thing that I've learned to do is have a daily mantra of what I would like to change on any given day. I'm horribly judgemental of others, so that has been my main goal over the last few months. I've gone from having absolutely no brain to mouth filter when it comes to cutting someone down (anyone at all, if they don't meet my standards, that's it, let the shredding begin), to keeping whatever pops into my head IN my head and out of my mouth, to finally stomping out whatever pops into my head and replacing it with something positive or more beneficial (like instead of thinking 'fucking loser' it's changed to 'maybe they've hit a rough patch, going thru hard times, be nice because you've been there yourself') thoughts.

What I'm getting at is that it can take a long time, but it can be changed. You have to want that change more than anything and word seriously hard at it. You have the power to change yourself.

lmao Mons i have been doing that exact same internal monologue since i was a kid, the(like instead of thinking 'fucking loser' it's changed to 'maybe they've hit a rough patch, going thru hard times, be nice because you've been there yourself') thought.
and i still do it to this day. ive always believed that one is a product of their environment, but thats before they know anybetter, some people can choose to cchange, others choose not to.

The four Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom By Don Miguel Ruiz

I love this book and have gone back over it and the lessons many times. Change is hard. It is not so much about the outdoors just more about yourself and how when you are taking care of you the rest falls into line. I know what you mean I am a control freak and it is VERY hard to let go. One of the reasons I decided to let me hair be free and do it's thing Best of luck!

I agree! Buddhism has helped me greatly, too. I found Lama Surya Das's books to be really informative and awesome!

Mons said:

What's really helped me is learning about Buddhism and working a 12 step program.

first of all, i would like to affirm the love from each person willing to offer any insight into the solvingof a dilema tha has plagued man since the begining. i had a friend give up his own life to save mine, the ultimate expression of love. i try to live my life as if i would be willing to give my life for anyone. thanks again to you all.

peace be the journey

congrats on wanting to be a better human being. Other than reading materials, or movies etc...what about helping in a soup kitchen for the homeless. Or even doing it once for their Christmas meal, you would be helping the homeless & families get a wonderful warm holiday meal. It would be better than any gift you could otherwise receive. You would be humbled.

Sweetest thread ever.

Great thread! We all get steered off course, at one time or another. Over the past six months or so, I have been doing my own personal work in this area. I have found a deep connection with the Hindu way of life. I would suggest reading or watching anything by Ram Dass. Also, as already mentioned, Allan Watts is amazing. I have also found a great deal of help in the form of an affirmation that I learned from Ram Dass; "I am loving awareness." I would highly suggest watching his film Fierce Grace.

Blessings to you on your journey.