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Dollface, I placed those in your car when I was looking for you. (hugs), love mama

Child of mine, Thalia, I will always be mom. I will always love unconditionally. I will never turn my back. I will rescue when I see trouble. I will be there to pick up the pieces when allowed. I will always hold and listen. And I will even kick in a door when you scream, gun loaded to harm one that would harm you, (as you well know). I will always be mom. I love you. You are my baby daughter and things or people may keep you away for seeing me or family, but nothing created can keep you away from or take you away from my heart. mom

In my life, I am controlled by three things: parents, money, and college. These three things are completely interrelated.

First off, a teeny bit of background info: I am in my second year of college, and I have two and a half years left to "complete" in my program. I turn 20 in two weeks, and since before I applied to college in the first place, I've been having feelings of "enough already! This is not living, not for me. I am not being true to myself." So far, I've identified the three things above that I feel are really holding me back.

1) I love my parents. I respect them, but I do not feel heard or understood by them, and part of this is my fault, because I'm not as open with them as I could be. The reason being every time I try to express my desires for my life, I always leave crying and feeling totally opposed, and it's soul crushing. I admit that I value their acceptance more than I should. I acknowledge that the only opinion I should truly care about is my own about myself, but it's much easier said than done. I value their love and my relationship with them, but I feel like if I want to be me, freely, I'd be abandoning that relationship.

2) My parents have been putting money away for my college education since I was a year old. They have achieved their goal of being able to pay for my education without me having to take out loans and be in debt, and for that, I am forever grateful. Not every kid gets that, and many have to work their asses off to support themselves through their schooling. I do my best not to take this for granted, but I feel very guilty for having entertained the idea of not accepting it since I started college. I know that regardless of the fact that my grades are wonderful and that I enjoy my program, deep down, I don't want to be in school. By leaving school, I am throwing all that money away (they don't get it back), and what a waste would that be, right?

3) School. I'm not sure I need to say much more than that, really.

One of my deepest desires is to relinquish many of my possessions, pack a big backpack of necessities, pick a direction, and start walking. I don't care what city I end up in, I almost don't care if I stay in the same city (though there is the fear of my parents interfering if I do). I feel suffocated by these three things in my life, and I want to explore myself and the world around me by not letting them drag me down.

And the fact that I don't have the courage to just get up and leave scares me. If not now, when? Will I ever find that courage? I am terrified to leave, but I want to so badly.

Wouldn't say no to some friendly advice if you've got any...

I made 11 new pieces yesterday and got them all posted on my Artfire. 3 new wire dread coils/sleeves and 2 new dread beads made from clay; a pair of clay faun horns and a listing for custom clay deer antlers; three new bracelets done in a Turkish knot, two hemp and one yarn; and two soy wax candles. I also marked down some of my older products and I'm also doing made-to-order organic sugar scrubs!Come check us out over at http://BohemianGoddessCreations.artfire.com Peace and Dread Love <3Storm

I hope that everyone is feeling positive and joyful after the holiday hustle and bustle! This time of the year can bring up a lot of darkness. The winter, to me, is a very contemplative time. The rain slows things down and keeps one mesmerized by thoughts of would haves,should haves,and could haves.

What I have found to be helpful is to find a creative outlet to express your feelings. Grab a paintbrush,some paint and a canvas and just go for it.Forget about trying to be the next Thomas Kincade or for that matter Mattisse. It unloads a lot of negative energy in a positive way and the only person that has to see is you!

I believe that we are creative beings first and foremost and should express ourselves in this way no matter what medium we decide to utilize. Those negative emotions get trapped and when the energy isn't flowing you can feel stuck and totally depressed.

Getting outside and connecting with nature always helps. I can get really comfortable in my warm home with the fire blazing the fire place and sometimes forget about the Mother. Mother nature is always calling me. From the hummingbirds coming to the feeder I provide for them. To the crazy songs of the Mockingbirds. It gets me centered,grounded and focused on what is really important in life. Life is not just about surviving,to me, it is about living.

Watch the animals in your neighborhood and see how they enjoy nature. Remember we are animals too and are no better or less than they.

Warm Regards,

Trina :0)

My whole life I always had a best friend, a person I could go to, a person I hung out with almost every day, someone I could fart on and we'd hit each other and it would be okay :PI haven't had that for about a year now and it's finally getting to me. I've literally had to up the dosage of my antidepressants because I just don't hang out with anyone. And it's not even that I don't try because god knows I do.I just want to go back to that. Idk.

A message from the Moon

I am proud to be the carrier of this information. On the night of the Lunar Eclipse Dec. 20 - 21 I bore witness to one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I would like to share what I saw with you guys.

As the world blocked the moon's gaze of the sun it turned red from the fire that bent around the earth's edges. The stars came out to pay homeage to the beautiful sight. And we all joined in the splender that is Nature.

Slowly the light came back to the moon as the earth uncloaked its new gem for the world. The stars began to recede to witness the moon take the stage in its transformation. Ultraviolet fire glowed and danced as the last shadow held the bottom tip of the moon. "For you I shine," the moon said. "We both gain our light from the sun." And yet the moon goes where the sun cannot. The moon keeps the creatures company as the sun makes its rounds across the world.

As I sat and basked in the company of my full moon she spoke to me, to us. On the moon there was an image formed in her countenance, One tree.

She sent us back the gift that she receives from us. And just as we enjoy watching her dance across the sky she enjoys watching grow and live. Take care of the earth she told me, us watching, and she spread her light to the trees and they waved back to thank her. And has the moon began its trip beyond the horizan the glow simmered and allowed the sun its entrance. Through the clouds vapor rose to signal the sun's coming and in this split second neither the moon or sun were in the sky, only earth and blue sky with our sister Venus floating in the distance.

It is here a bird sang from the highest pine. This is an image I imprinted in my mind and I give it to you as the moon's messenger.

i wanted to know what everyone washes their dreads with. that way everyone can look at this and get ideas. give a little detail on howyou wash them and how the outcome is! i use dial anti bacterial bar soap normally and dawn dish soap for removing DREAD MUD (dread wax).

We all here have one!So every time I've dreaded I have used the perm method. Which apparently is hated on, but its always worked for me. I've seen that they "don't last" but really, it will, if you treat them as dreads and not as a perm.So, in June (i think) of 2009, I decided to get just one lonely dreadlock. I was too nervous to get a full head of dreads. Where did this wild hair up my ass grow from? I reconnected with a good friend of mine when I was a younger teen, and we started dating very quickly. He had dreadlocks. now, this was the first time I had ever seen them in person, or touched them, loved them, etc. I actually really liked em - I always have, but common. White people don't have dreads? Well I grew a pair and got one. I babied that sucker. I took it out though after we broke up, it left too much painful memory, cause I would always play with his dreads, and I missed him deeply. Stupid reason to change my hair, I KNOWWW, but it happens. Love does funny things to people.Well after I removed it, I missed it like crazy. And decided to get a full head. January 2010 is when I got them, cost me a shit ton of money, but I was satisfied. The girl who did them has had dreads before. See, when I got my first dread, I was recommended by my ex & hairdresser to use dreadheadhq. I liked the site but everything was WAY too expensive, and so many of the products just didn't look, I don't know, right. In March 2010 I removed the dreads for where my bangs would be. I missed straitening and washing my hair, I didn't feel as feminine. (I'm not a girly girl, but c'mon, its kinda fun to do hair.) I LOVED my hair like this, it was like a mullet lol. Business in the front, party in the back :DWell this all ended in June 2010. I stopped taking care of my dreads and they started to look very bad. I don't know why I got lazy, but I did. It could have been the new relationship, I was spending a majority of my time with him, and he was always impatient for me to spend time on my lovely little locks. So, I regretfully got rid of them. It took several weeks cause I combed them out, and had to take a few days break in between because my scalp hurt so bad.I then nurtured the ever living crap out of my regular hair, perming, dying, not brushing, and essentially not enough nutrients near killed my hair. Luckily, I have all of my hair. It has great resilience, thank god, cause if it didn't, I would be bald.So I missed my dreads, a ton. Things weren't going so well w/ that past relationship, he was controlling. He was a part of me getting rid of them, he never really liked them. So the weekend we broke up (it was before it happened but still, he was pissed when I told him lol) I put them back in myself. (yes, perm, in case you forgot from my 1st sentence). This current dread session has only been going on for roughly a month now.See, white people hair doesn't like to dread, especially mine. I've never had "good" hair. Its always flat, gets greasy after one day of not washing, and its real fine. Granted, I have a lot of hair, and its "thick", but each strand is very thin. Dreads don't come easy.I don't know how long I'll keep them. I seem to bounce around a lot with my hair, and to those of you who are hxc dreadheads, have been & always will be, I'm probably being offensive. And in a honestly, not bitchy way, I don't care. My hair is never the same for very long, and there is only so much you can do w/ dreads. Don't take me the wrong way, I love them. I love being unique and feeling the freedom to express myself. I'm artistic & creative, always doing crazy things. I love ink & gauges. I know dreads are supposed to be a permanent change, but I just can't stay still for very long :bShare your dread story & feel free to leave any comments Please, no hating

I feel like this will get a bunch of negative feedback, but I wanna speak my mind.

I've used the perm method to get dreads every time, and this is the practice Irecommendedfor people who don't want to do it the natural way. I'm not Rastafarian, just a crazy white girl in BFE, Iowa.

Hmm. The perming went like this:

Backcoming into sections. (Sideshow bob here)

Perming the sections.

Waxing.

The sideshow bob thing only lasts 1-2 days... So its really not that bad. A great weekend project.

Yes, I use wax & other dread products, but at minimal use. I've seen too much negative feedback to feel safe waxing "3 times a day for the first two weeks, then once every day from there on". So once in a blue moon when they're getting squrrily, I'll give em a little dose. Now, from my experience in removing dreads, I found no buildup. Nothing bad was in them. My hair just needed a good wash, and a lot of nutrients.

I wash them every few days with dreadsoap & organic soap (mixed). My dreads love being washed!

Some of them have rubberbands, there are the stubborn ones that don't want to stay or want toseparate or whatever,we all know they each have their own personality. (Crazy as it may sound, you know its true!) I don't leave the bands in for long, just enough for that dread to get started. The bands can break and forever be in your dread, and thats just not cool.

I've seen posts on here about the arrogant teenager who thinks their god almighty know it all about dreadlocks. I for one am not, I just recently heard about using sea salt and steam to help them lock (which I still have yet to try and look forward to doing so). I don't use the lockacceleratoror locking pepper. I actually haven't bought a product online in over a year, the few I did by seriously added up and wasn't worth the price to me, especially if I can find better ways that come at a better price. Now, I did find a cute little ethnic hair care store in Des Moines, and they sell natural stuff. I happen to like this store and enjoy their products, which come at very friendly prices.

I sometimes use the "dread butta" - not to cover up "nasty smells" like I've read on here, but instead to soften em. My dreads are a disaster after a good washing.

I have a scalp itch relief spray, I use that, well on my scalp, and my hairline on my neck so it'll run in my hair (my head has to be upside down for this).

Palm rolling.. Its helping them lock, cause just leaving them be, they start to fall apart. I can't watch my hair do that, doing nothing is what caused me to have to get rid of them in the first place. I don't do it all day or all the time, but just enough to get the hairs smushed back in with each other. I don't try to palm roll the kinks out. I kinda like em like that.

Back combing.. I haven't combed any of my dreads this time around. I never did itaggressively, just enough to fix what was coming apart.

I'm not a zombie sheep who follows anything they read online. This site along with dreadheadhq or knottyboy are to help people get the know how about dreads. People on either sides will argue that one is better, this one sucks, that one is dumb, blah blah blah... I read all this information, on this site, dreadhead, other sites online, from people I talk to regularly who know a thing or two about dreads, and take it into my own life. I wish to be respected for this as everyone else here wishes to respected for their own thoughts about dreads. I feel like I know whats best for them, I've had my hair for almost 19 years, I know how to take care of it. I'm open to suggestion, like I've said, I just came into new (to me) info about dread care, and I want to try it. I won't try everything I read about. My dreads are my babies and putting them through test after test isn't good. If I try something and it doesn't seem to work, well I'll stop doing it? Its kind of a duh. People who complain about something they did ruining their hair cause they've been doing it for years is stupid on their part, hair is wildly responsive, and it'll let you know quickly when it doesn't like something.

My dreads are responding well to what I do. They're starting to lock up, they're always clean, smell good, look good, and each have their own little kinks. I don't try to change the way they look - they decide that for me.

Thanks for listening