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Purkurr

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Location: Helsinki
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Country: FI

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SOS

2012-06-27
By: Purkurr
Posted in:

This really is an emergency blog post.

I'm dangerously close to comb out my dreads. I have put a lot of conditioner and lavender oil into it and undreaded some of the ends and at least one whole dread.

This is stupid because I myself kind of asked for this. I was stupid enough to ask my mother, what does she think of my hair. And she said that she herself and also some other people have been wondering why I have such a messy hair, which looks like a raven's nest or something. Why would I want to have something like that instead of shiny, straight hair.

And I suppose this started the whole mess.. or something like that. I also became inspired by some old photos.. you know those lovely photos from the 1800 or something with the women with long hair and lovely hairdos and everything. I find something magical in those photos and I'd love to be able to have my hair done in that old style.

Sooo.. here I am. Most of this day I haven been 100 % sure that I will comb these dreads out BUTnow I just saw a picture of a lovely dreadhead and I got confused yet again. Sometimes I think I should just cut all my hair out, because this seems like a battle for me all the time.. more or less.

Purkurr
06/29/12 11:23:57AM @purkurr:

Oh and I asked my mother why she doesn't like dreads.. and she gave some reasons.

BUT in the end, after I told her that I guess this is just a process of letting go, and not caring too much of other people's opinions she said that do whatever you want with your hair, don't let other people's comments disturb you. After all, she knows the troubles I've had with my life this far, so maybe she - somehow - understands.


Purkurr
06/29/12 11:20:16AM @purkurr:

Thanks for your encouraging posts. :)

I' m still here.. I haven't opened any more dreads.. I think all this was mostly because of pms. At least, so it seems but I still don't like how my hair turned out looking. If I was in a panic state on Wednesday then now I' m a bit morel ike puzzled what to do.


Valérie
06/27/12 12:31:31PM @valrie:

As the other ladies said previously, this is purely your own decision. Don't comb them out until you have had time to evaluate whether or not you truly want to.

If you don't actually want them anymore, for whatever reason, that is fine but don't make a decision that you think you will regret. Maybe they are not something you are ready for at this time and that's okay. I have dreaded hair on multiple occasions in my life and, when I was at my most fickle I opted for extensions so that I could easily switch back and forth on a whim.

It's ok. It's your decision. That is all there is to it. Just mull it over.


Ixchel
06/27/12 11:48:21AM @ixchel:

don't do anything in a moment...give yourself time to mull it over & make sure it's really what YOU want to do, no one else matters in this.

are the styles something you could still do with dreads? or alter slightly to make it work? if so i'm sure it would be amazing!

my mom has been pestering me for years to remove piercings, & she just learned i haven't been brushing my hair & has started digging into that as well (she's only been here a little over a week & has brought it up several times already!). it bugs me that she keeps on about it even tho i say it's a closed case, but i know what I want & it makes me happy, she doesn't have to see me every day I do. She doesn't realize yet they will turn into dreads, she just thinks it looks like messy hair, she'll learn. She probably will never accept it, but she'll have to deal with it, & continue to bug me. I just let it roll off my back. I hold hope that someday she'll realize how happy these things make me & want me to have my happiness, but i'm not holding my breathe for her acceptance, I don't need it.


Tied up in knots
06/27/12 09:58:44AM @tied-up-in-knots:

The way I see it, as far as opinions like your mothers...1. You already knew dreadlocks weren't the most popular hairstyle in the world so it's not surprising that someone or many someones that you know wouldn't like it. Unavoidable. 2. If you are wearing your hair in 1800s styles people will still think you have weirdness going on with your hair. Basically, no matter what you do with your hair someone will have a negative opinion.

Now that other peoples opinions are out of the way...we can get to yours. Which is the only one that matters.

I think that before you comb out your dreads you need to stop and clear your head. I think you are in a bit of an emotional state and that's not the best frame of mind to make this kind of decision. Try to remember why you wanted dreads in the first place. Are those reasons gone or changed? If not, try to look honestly at your reasons for wanting to get rid of them. Is it truly your decision or are you letting naysayers have too much control? Are you really that attached to these old fashioned hair-do's that it's worth not having dreads? Are there other reasons?

No one can tell you what to do with your hair. That's your decision. I will say though that I think you should keep the dreads. Surprising, no? :P

I say this only because I've noticed that the longer I have mine the less I give a rip about what other people think of how I look. It's a very freeing thing. And from your post here it sounds like you could do to care a little less about things like that.

Also, dreadlocks are so very easy and fun to style. I haven't done much with my hair (especially now that it's gone from mid-back to above the shoulders!) but I've done more than I was ever able to do with my hair undreaded. I was always style handicapped though.

But have you ever really looked at all the things you can do to your hair with dreads? Especially with longer hair? You don't have to give up the old fashioned hair do's to have dreads. You just have to get creative and imitate them with your dreads!

You're currently experiencing the cruddiest part of dreading. The hot mess stage isn't fun for everyone. I'm reveling in it personally but I'm a bit strange I guess. But we all go through this stage. And afterwards we all get awesome mature dreadlocks. We just have to survive this stage.

My mom didn't give me her opinion directly but she asked me last week why I was dreading my hair. I knew she didn't like it from how she worded it but I also knew she was trying her best to be sensitive since she knows I have anxiety/self esteem issues. When I told her that having dreads makes me feel better about myself than I ever have before she said that was all she needed to hear. She wants me to have dreads now.

Perhaps your mother would be of a similar mind if you were able to explain what dreads mean to you. Not that she should have to approve but it's nice to know that your mother doesn't think you are crazy. Having a little real life support is good. Considering she kept her negative opinion to herself until asked she sounds like a rather decent human being so it could work!

Bleh. I hope this is coherent. I only woke up to answer natures call and was silly enough to check the site. I couldn't go back to sleep without answering your post! I'm going now though!


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