Okay, Grey...First, I am sooo sorry. Second, I have been married 18 years (Aug.15th). I will say this...SE speaks alot of truth. My daughter in Utah is Bi-Polar and she is all over the place, one day happy and the next sad. Change is hard for anyone but especially our Bi-Polar loved ones. As SE said, keep those channels open, don't burn your bridges. I believe that what is meant to be will be. That said, I will also say this...The last guy I dated before my husband broke my heart. For the first time I felt like I was my "best me" and it wasn't good enough. I actually thought of taking my life. I thought that this was the end because this guy was the guy. Well, a few monthes later I went on a date with a guy I normally wouldn't have looked twice at cuz I figured I had nothing to lose. Well, three kids and 18 years later I have no doubt that I had everything to win. Good Luck sweetheart, it will be alright. Don't give up.
updated by @panterra-caraway: 07/23/15 06:18:25PM
My Fiance Is Leaving Me...
im sorry things aren't working out sweetie, when we talked yesterday i had a feeling things were headed this way. You MUST believe that whats meant to be will be! And it really could always be worse, even though it doesn't feel like it now. I think you are doing a LOT of growing and changing as person and maybe she isn't. Maybe she never will. You need to learn about what you want and what makes you happy,really HAPPY! Not just whats comfortable. I see it all the time. I told you I've had close to 9 couples I know end their marriages in the past 3 or 4 years. Don't be afraid to be alone, cause you really never are. Go and travel, see the country or the world do what YOU want to do. You need to find the happiness within yourself that nobody else can give you first and then when you're not looking or expecting it, your soulmate will show up. Take care of yourself you're a great guy and you deserve the best. Don't settle!! Much Love
Thanks everyone, it means so much.
Things have a way of working themselves out man. My fiance left me about 3 months ago, and now she realizes what she had and wants me back. I am a little confused but I think we decided to move out of state and travel the country working along the way.....weird huh.
Yeah, I just hate going through senseless pain. That's why it fucking hurts so much. I devoted EVERYTHING that I had to her...and if it DOES ever come back to us getting together then this break up was just senseless pain and a waste of time. But if I look at it from another point of view, it can be a nice way to learn how we truly feel about each other. But if it doesn't work out then I'm just hurt and lonely. Because across the country she can easily just hang up on me and be done with it and never talk to me again...if I'm here I at least have a little control in the way that I might be able to show her that I am right for her, show her how much she really means to me and how I am the perfect guy for her..But on the phone and over the net she can just back out whenever. I guess that is why everyone says, "if it's just meant to be then it will be." But it fucking hurts so damn bad. Jake Holland said:
Things have a way of working themselves out man. My fiance left me about 3 months ago, and now she realizes what she had and wants me back. I am a little confused but I think we decided to move out of state and travel the country working along the way.....weird huh.
don't wait around for her to change her mind and come back. Seriously. If she doesn't see that you're right for her after 2 years she ain't worth your time. There could be someone out there a hundred times better for you. Live Your Life! GreyGargoyle said:
Yeah, I just hate going through senseless pain. That's why it fucking hurts so much. I devoted EVERYTHING that I had to her...and if it DOES ever come back to us getting together then this break up was just senseless pain and a waste of time. But if I look at it from another point of view, it can be a nice way to learn how we truly feel about each other. But if it doesn't work out then I'm just hurt and lonely. Because across the country she can easily just hang up on me and be done with it and never talk to me again...if I'm here I at least have a little control in the way that I might be able to show her that I am right for her, show her how much she really means to me and how I am the perfect guy for her..But on the phone and over the net she can just back out whenever. I guess that is why everyone says, "if it's just meant to be then it will be." But it fucking hurts so damn bad.
Jake Holland said:Things have a way of working themselves out man. My fiance left me about 3 months ago, and now she realizes what she had and wants me back. I am a little confused but I think we decided to move out of state and travel the country working along the way.....weird huh.
Thanks, Sister Rags...Laura, didn't you ever have doubts about your husband or him about you?I'm just curious, you seem like the right person to ask.
I sort of agree.I just don't get why life is like it is...I mean I try so hard...I used to try hard with girls. After my last ex I quit talking to girls. Hell, I barely even looked at em. I liked my life and I was happy but when this girl stepped into my life it was like almost like seeing an angel in it's purest form and I to this day I still feel that strongly about her and I know it was fate that I met her. It was fate or a huge coincidence and I really KNOW that it was fate. Nothing in my life has been a coincidence. I wanted dreads for a life time but I finally decided to dread when I found out the truth about them. I know that was fate. I know it was fate for me to meet her and I truly feel like she is my soul mate. I just don't get what this has to do with the relationship or my future as I know that it is me and her against the world. Today, I went into her room to wake her up and so I sat on her bed and she laid her head into my lap and she cuddled close to me and when she finally woke up I felt amazing inside...but I also felt pain that you can only comprehend when you're in my situation. I don't think that I could comprehend this pain if she got back together with me. It's that horrible for me. I just don't get why life is throwing this at me. We have so much in common and life has so much to give us as soul mates. I just NEED her in my life. She makes me whole and complete. And I know I sound pathetic. Ha... Sister Rags said:
I dunno, dude...I think it's kind of unfair to advise you to accept this as a good thing ultimately. Seriously, no disrespect to anyone, because I know what you mean. I've very seldom seen something in life that doesn't turn out for the better, eventually. BUT at the time, the pain is so monumental, it's like - Who cares about tomorrow? TODAY feels like I'm worse than dying...I'm alive and in HELL. That kind of pain is fucked. There's a lot of it in life, but it's still fucked.
I can honestly tell you that in 12 years i have never had 1 single doubt that we were meant to be together for better or worse. I was 16 when we met at a show and I said to my friend the next morning "i met the man i am going to marry!!" Not that we haven't gone through our shit, we have! we've been through it ALL! But even through the worst of it we knew that we were supposed to be together. If you truly believe that this girl is your soulmate than by all means go for it, i just don't want you to misinterpret your feelings of loneliness and fear of the unknown for true love, I am NOT saying that is what you're doing at ALL! Believe me i am the last one to tell you you're not right for eachother. EVERYBODY laughed at us when we first got together and said we'd NEVER make it! We did spend some time apart from eachother in the first couple of years not by choice (i was in a group home for teen girls) and a lot of other crazy shit BUT we always found our way back to eachother and while that may not help your pain now you have to believe that it will work out if it's supposed to and you WILL get through this no matter what, I promise! GreyGargoyle said:
Thanks, Sister Rags...
Laura, didn't you ever have doubts about your husband or him about you?
I'm just curious, you seem like the right person to ask.
Hey, I know I'm young. I mean I'm only 15 but me and my boyfriend have also been dating for 2 years. A couple of months ago he left me for the first time. I know your pain. It is infact the worst pain. You don't where to go, what to do next, You wonder why they don't want you anymore and you think it's all your fault. It's really hard. I remember crying and screaming, I had nightmares where he would leave me. All I did was cry, scream and hold myself 24/7.they say music helps, or talking to someone. But in the end none of it really helps and at the end of the day there's still an empty pit in your chest. I'm not going to tell you that you'll find some new amazing girl that will love you and be everything you want, Because I know all you probably want is the girl who just said see you later. As a female, who's been in a relationship for 2 years, I know how hard it can be. Girls can get confused sometimes. But don't give in. Don't call her. Let her know that you still want her back, but don't tell her all of the time. Let her call you, let her email you or whatever. She may just need her space.I know that after being together for 2 years shes not just going to say bye and be gone like that. Don't think she wont miss you like hell. don't think she wont want you back. She will. Trust me I know for a fact, I help people with relationship problems on a daily basis and It's happend to me personally. I left the guy I'm with now for another guy. at the time me and him had been dating for almost a year. I left him for 2 months, I really wanted him to leave me alone and I HATED his guts, At times I wish he would of just let me go. So i was with this new guy and boy did he blow me away. He was everything I wanted in a man. But you know how they say some things are to good to be true? well that statement was true. It was like things were totally aligned. I started having feeling for my ex again and the dream guy I was with cheated on me. After 2 months I relized who I really wanted to be with and it was my ex boyfriend so we go back together. And I cry all the time because I hurt the one person who never stopped loving me even though I put him through the worst pain of his life. Maybe sometime soon she'll relize what an amazing guy she lost and she might come crawling back. just as I did. I can't tell you that she will,for a fact, come back. But when my boyfriend recently left me,that's what got me by, The hope that someday he'd want me again, he'd love me again. And in a way the devil on my shoulder was telling me that it was his loss because I'm a beautiful complex person that deserved better then an asshole who hurt me. He did come back, I quit answering his phone calls and didnt tell him a damn thing about anything. I completely shut him out and it drove him crazy. He came back within a few days. It's been 3 months since he left me and it still hurts, Were still facing problems but he's still mine. I really hope that things fall together for you with or without her. Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall in place. And it always gets worse before it gets any better. Keep your head up and look to the brother above to guide you through the hard times weather you believe in him or not, Praying wouldn't hurt anything. I'm here if you want to talk or even just vent. I know your feeling alone right now but there are a bunch of people feeling alone right now, so in a way were all in it together, your never really alone. Bless you brother. Keep fighting the pain. You'll make it through I pinky promise.
