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I'm starting to struggle with my journey :(

Niesje Sigrid
@niesje-sigrid
3 years ago
56 posts

I have so much conflict with my hair right now. It seems like it's not doing right cuz I keep it pulled back all the time, but I can't leave it down at work and that's where I always am. I take my hair down and it's all one clump of knots. When I'm off for a while it separates and starts looking good. It gets dirty too often cuz the weather is warming up and I'm sweating at work everyday. I feel like I wash it too much. I used to only feel dirty after a week or so, now it's like every other day I wash my hair. I'm starting school next Friday and I really don't have time to be worrying over my hair. I guess I just need some encouragement to keep at it.


updated by @niesje-sigrid: 01/13/15 09:51:39PM
the Barrellady
@the-barrellady
3 years ago
1,302 posts

Neisje, I think that most of us go through times that are hard, for whatever the reason may be. Sometimes it is the mess that is happening, sometimes it is the journey time, sometimes it can be our time of month (gals), sometimes we are just tired from work and family, and sometimes it's the frustration of knotting and separating. You are not alone. Dreads take patience that we must grow and allow our inner strength to grow. All days area not easy. We must sometimes dig deep into our soul for the encouragement we need. This is why people love their dreads so much, for the learning journey we are taken on.

The easiest way to separate any matting or sections joining together is when they are wet. They come apart easier and can withstand a little more force.

Don't worry about your washing amounts, in the beginning 2-3 day wash cycles are good, so you are okay there. What are you using to tie your hair up with? Is it too tight? Try something looser...I have a black rope necklace with a charm on it and fold it in half, wrap it around my dreads and feed the charm through it. You can adjust the tightness just by moving the charm. You will be amazed at how loose you can have it without if falling off. Are you an employee at the school? If not, try wearing a tam sometimes, if it feels to hot for you then just wear a cooler shirt, that works for me also.

You are 1/3 into your journey, hang in there baby. What do you think they will look like in three years? Isn't that a beautiful vision? Whenever you get down, put the three year old dreads back into you head and know that soon enough yours WILL look like that.

Peace to you

Niesje Sigrid
@niesje-sigrid
3 years ago
56 posts

thanks. I'm just having a hard time feeling like I look professional cuz the school won't let me wear my scarves I usually wear to cover some of the work in progress and look a little neater in my student ID. I can wear it to school tho? I've never had anyone say they can't recognize me because I had a scarf. I have my mom crocheting me a dread sock, but it takes her forever to to make anything so it's not done yet. I hope this gets better. I have so many people that don't like it and aren't afraid to tell me. I only have one friend that likes them and she's away at school right now. It just seems like I need some encouragement that I'm no ruining my hair. I had some before and brushed them out and my mom and husband are just waiting for me to brush it again. I try telling them it's never gonna happen, but they think I won't see anything through to the end. And I have so much stress right now that I'm just discouraged about everything. I keep going and keep trying, but one way I cope is to dump on myself for a while and mope, then I get better and just keep going. I'll get there eventually, wherever I'm going lol.

Gavin Parsons
@gavin-parsons
3 years ago
8 posts

Just keep going :) I get some weird looks when people figure out what im doing. I have to pull my hair back everyday for work.I love the idea barrellady came up with! I am only 3 months into my journey and I can tell it is going to take me longer, but I dont care I plan to have them for MANY years to come. Dont be in a rush. People giving you a hard time should motivate you! Them saying you cannot finish anything should give you all the reason to say HA! That and looking back in three years and saying, I accomplished something beautiful :) I work at a Hospital so Tams are out, you cant wear "headgear." I cant wear it down because Im a male with a big fluffy beard...I look crazy with a tucked in shirt and slacks, but this is me and I love me :) They cannot discriminate you based on your looks and if somebody really wants to start something just say its your religious preference. Everybody on here has been so encouraging, we all need it sometimes. Stay strong and post some progress pics. Mine are on the way!

Bree
@bree
3 years ago
19 posts

I say hang in there! I am at the 6 month mark and feeling a little impatient but, I know this is what I want and am willing to just wait it out..... When I feel frustrated I just don't look in the mirror :) It will totally be worth the wait in the end.

Niesje Sigrid
@niesje-sigrid
3 years ago
56 posts

*CORRECTION* I have another friend in favor of my dreads and has decided now to dread herself :) That along with your support here is very encouraging!

jesse demato
@jesse-demato
3 years ago
24 posts
I also spend forty hours a week with my hair pulled back. I have to separate everyday lightly, and I wash every other day. it seems to me the more I wash the more progress I see. my hair gets so tangled with a good scrubbing and no conditioner.I use Bronner peppermint diluted. you can also try the sea spray from Vicki. it's progress in a bottle.
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