Help me keep my dreads!

Hello all,

I've been doing my dreads naturally, since my parents dont want me to have any, I thought natural would be the slowest way, so they wiull notice it less as the time goes by...

Well, my dad wants me to comb my hair before we next go abroad (I thik about a month)l do NOT want to.

My parents are both dead against dreads, because they look messy, and mostly because they think people will think I'm a druggy. The rest of the family thinks the same, and a few of my parents friends do too...

I told them I wont go with them to england then, and I bloody mean it. Do you have any tips that would let them accept them a bit more? I said I want long hair anyway, my dad said thats fine as long as I comb it...

I'm sort of thinking of tnr'ing it all very soon, see if they change their mind, since they said "comb it before we go to england".

I do NOT smoke ANYTHING (not even cigarettes), not sure if they thik I'll "go that path", or just that people will think I;'m a druggy...

They also tell me it wont look good if I want a job...

Please help me keep my dreads!!!

Thanks in advance, JP

updated by @jonathan-poll: 11/13/15 03:09:44AM

You won't like my answer. But if you live there, they pay your bills, give you food etc., honor them and wait until you are out on your own. I hear what you are saying but you need to respect your parents. Yes it is your hair your body yadda yadda, but you are still their son in their house and a reflection of them to others.

Perhaps a better compromise would be to show them the tear and rip method and show how your can can look presentable, and pursue other avenues when you get back from the trip.

But your parents are right when it comes to work and life etc. There are some members here who asked their boss first. There is a responsibility for everything we do in life, sometimes what we want does not fit in. I wanted natural dreads, but because of the world I live in I needed to clean up my head as fast as I could or forget all about dreads. It isn't ideal but it is the world I live in. I am a grown man but I still am a reflection on my wife who is a military officer. When I go to functions etc., with her I need to be presentable, period. That is life, so I had to choose help them a long or get a hair cut. Tis life

Hey,

I fully understand what you mean, but I really want those dreads. Especially since I wnt to leave the house as soon as possible (nothing against my parents, I just feel I need to be free).

As a job, I want to be a metalworker, restoring classic car bodywork. eople who do that are never "clean" at work, they will always have oil, metal shavings, paint, etc... on them, and they dont NEED to look "good", since they don't have much customer "relation" (the boss does of course!).

The way I feel them refusing dread,locks is as if someone said I wasn't allowed to listen to a certain kind of music, I had to listen to what they like... (they never said tha,t its just an example)

I don't feel like going to england anyway, we're not doing it for "holiday", we're going there for sort of "work" (we have to deliver a load of stuff for friends).

I would love dreads like these: http://www.dreadlockssite.com/photo/1-month-2-4?context=latest

I find they are lovely, dont look messy, and very presentable...

I tried showing my dad a few pictures of "nice" dreads (I love all dreads, I just wanted to show him the neatest types), he saw that picutre and said "theyre not dreads". He must have thought alld reads are like Bob Marley. I told him theyre not, and this is what I want, he just walked out the room, after admitting he didnt think they were dreads... I had many other pictures of "neat" dreads like tha,t he didnt care...

Mike Gentry said:

You won't like my answer. But if you live there, they pay your bills, give you food etc., honor them and wait until you are out on your own. I hear what you are saying but you need to respect your parents. Yes it is your hair your body yadda yadda, but you are still their son in their house and a reflection of them to others.

Perhaps a better compromise would be to show them the tear and rip method and show how your can can look presentable, and pursue other avenues when you get back from the trip.

But your parents are right when it comes to work and life etc. There are some members here who asked their boss first. There is a responsibility for everything we do in life, sometimes what we want does not fit in. I wanted natural dreads, but because of the world I live in I needed to clean up my head as fast as I could or forget all about dreads. It isn't ideal but it is the world I live in. I am a grown man but I still am a reflection on my wife who is a military officer. When I go to functions etc., with her I need to be presentable, period. That is life, so I had to choose help them a long or get a hair cut. Tis life

Again I say in your parents house live by their rules. I had a huge fro in high school was going to dread it, went vegetarian it didn't fly, waited a year graduated and lived life. Some things young man are not worth the present battle.

I saw the photo hmm those are not dreads yet she is only in a few months hahaha,

Parents are stubborn, my mom won't even skype with me, but it gets me out of the family photo this year! Underneath it all most parents love us, if it is a relationship worth saying good bye to then stand your ground. If you want to be part of the family longer and such, wait til you are a man, out on his own asking nothing from his parents. Then do as you please.

I left the house as soon as I could, then I ended up having to move back in twice! It was easier coming back to a peaceful home. You don't know what lies ahead so make sure you always have a home to go back to .

Yeah of course I don't want to "say goodbye"!

I only have "baby dreads", if that! (just over 2 months neglect). Thing is, they will look neater soon (hopefully!). I'll continue as I am, see nearer the time... Hopefully all will end well, omly time will tell!

JP

Offer to pay rent, that might help

hehe I'm only 16 for now, dont really have an income, I just help my dad a lot with what he does instead

Then I say this as nice as I can.. suck it up and wait I was 16 when I wanted to make my changes.

Since dreads are patience, what better way to learn than wait til you are out of the house! Maybe someone else might have a different view but honestly you are 16, at home, no job. I was thinking you were 17 almost 18.

Ask your dad if there is work you can do, not just chores. All the yard work, house work, cooking etc. Try to prove you are old enough to earn your keep. It is worth a try. My parents conceded to braids but not dreads when I was 14, then the dread battle began at 16, 16 years later BAM, dreads on my head

I agree with Mike, sorry. I've wanted dreads since early childhood, but my mom thinks they're nasty, so I'm 20 and just started them last december. It sucks, but their house, their rules. It sounds like you've tried reason;ing with them and informing them, and they honestly, sincerely don't like it.

Thanks again all of you. I understand what you mean, but I think I will just give it a go anyway.

I have looked up the letters SE written, but dont think my parents will bother reading...