HELP! :( could use a little guidance from anyone who is generally spiritual.

My soulmate and I have come to a point in our spirituality where he is beginning to question...

If people dont enlighten themselves in their current lifetime or become self aware, expand their consciousnesses, you know....we generally believe that they keep on living life over and over until they get it 'right' (become self aware). But this is where we question, how can this be if 'God' 'The creator/ Higher power' is all loving? wouldnt sending them back to live again almost be like a punishment? I say no, because they arent aware of it, its up to them. But my mate seems to really be troubled by this.

and also, if people arent becoming spiritually aware, and/or are just generally bad people, mean, negative, all those terrible things, i feel that they have no TRUE friends, or meaning to life, or true pure happiness, and that is like their 'curse' but not as terrible as the word 'curse' sounds you know what i mean? almost like they just dont get to experience all these beauties in life to the fullest. But my mate has been in this funk lately like.."why am i constantly doing good and reaping no benefits from it?" almost like he has lost what amazing things he has gained from enlightenment. like he cant see all the good anymore he is just looking at it like "all the negative people seem to be having such fun and im doing what i believe im supposed to be doing (furthering his inner self, meditation, always doing good etc.) but i do good and good karma doesnt come to me."

Now, I see PLENTY of good that is coming to us, and i see changes all the time, i honestly dont know whats making him question or be in this weird funk, he'll be fine and then all of a sudden he doesnt seem to be himself and seems really angry/sad and shut off...and when i ask whats wrong he'll say the things i mentioned above...My soulmate is the one who enlightened me, helped me to look within, so when i hear him saying these things it really gets me down. I dont know why he does it, its really like a light switch, just all of a sudden, and it takes A LOT for me to make him realize he isnt really upset about anything at all, almost like his ego is showing through and gets him to this negative pint that i cant get him out of and once hes in the negative point he will bring up anything from our spirituality like i had mentioned, to petty things involving us.

I guess im just asking for a little guidance on what to do.. Sometimes as im trying to pull him out of the funk things can get really out of control and arguments get escalated, and when he finally snaps out of it he will apologize and agree he was upset for no reason, but lately he has just started questioning our spiritual beliefs when he gets in this funk, so above i explained what he says because maybe im just not seeing it in the right light, but i really think it has to do with these weird funks he gets in....i just dont know what to do, he recognizes he does it and is doing it, but keeps doing it.

im sure this all was very confusing, but if someone could possibly give me a little guidance on any part of this post i would greatly, greatly, appreciate it.

Much love to you ALL.

-b

updated by @brandy: 02/14/15 08:20:36AM

i am not religious, im just spiritual, i believe in Love, raising your consciousness by meditation, yoga, just being one with earth, i dont like to claim any specific religion, im just spiritual.

He may be struggling with something that's getting him down or may be experiencing symptoms if a mood disorder. Seeking out a mental health professional might be a good idea.

I was also going to mention that he may be having some type of bipolar/depression disorder... From your desctiption it really does sound like it... I understand also that it is very hard to be positive sometimes if someone around you is being negative. I struggle with this in my own relationship, my husband can be very negative. But no one has to be happy all the time either. It is OK to be sad. Maybe he has spent a long time being happy and his body just needs to shift to a different level for a bit..

Disturbing emotions not only disturb our own state of mind, they also disturb the minds of others. Self-centredness gives rise to fear and insecurity, which in turn creates distrust. This is why having an altruistic attitude brings a great sense of happiness and peace of mind. HH The Dalai Lama

So like you said this is what is happening with you... But in times of disturbance that is where we have to try harder to be strong. Think of it as test you yourself must pass and a lesson for you as well. Maybe he needs a little time to be self centered. Not that anybody thinks this is good. But if he has been putting alot out he may feel drained.

Something I am still trying to work on is, happiness comes from within. Nothing external should create that because everything external could be taken away at any moment and thus taking away your happiness. And maybe at times like this "you" need to dig deeper. Not that external things cant and shouldn't give you happiness cause they most certainly do but your true happiness is the strength we need even when things on the outside aren't going the way we would hope.

Not sure this was helpful as I still have a long way to go on my spirtual journey myself but goodluck and lots of good energy to both of you. <3

that actually helps a lot, its nothing to the extreme of a disorder at all, its just extremely difficult for me to see him sad, which makes him even more sad that im sad hes sad and then arguments and things happen.. i will talk to him about his actions coming from a more selfless place. thankyou very much for your words. This is the SAME advice my mother gave me, i guess its just really hard for me to see him that way so i push him to tell me whats wrong (even though i know theres nothing truly wrong) until he explodes.

Yogisunshine said:

I do agree that the quick mood swings can be a sign of some kind of disorcer. But everyone does get down and have moments that make them feel bad or question things thats pretty normal and whe my partner gets in little funks i let him have his moment. If he is looking for the karmic return from his actions maybe he needs to do them from a more selfless place and just be satisfied with the action instead of the reward. I am not religious but a spiritual person of sorts and the hardest thing for me to be able to handle is that sometimes my partner will be just not ok and i have to let him be that way because when im not okay that's what i want is to just be a lil sad. IT can be hard to find yourself mybe he is just having a hurdle is his personal-evolution. If its not a mental illness i would just try and be positive for yourself, love your partner and let them find their way i dunno if that helps any

this helped very much, I have thought that i need to let him be this way when he acts like that, its just hard for me to see him upset so i guess i just push him too hard to make him realize there is nothing wrong.. for me its like happiness is constantly bursting out of me (except for the week before my period, then i will cry for hours uncontrollably for no reason) so when he isnt, and him being my other half, it affects me as well, but I WILL look at it as a test, i will do my best to stay stron. thankyou so very much, you helped me a lot

Blessed Earth Mama said:

I was also going to mention that he may be having some type of bipolar/depression disorder... From your desctiption it really does sound like it... I understand also that it is very hard to be positive sometimes if someone around you is being negative. I struggle with this in my own relationship, my husband can be very negative. But no one has to be happy all the time either. It is OK to be sad. Maybe he has spent a long time being happy and his body just needs to shift to a different level for a bit..

Disturbing emotions not only disturb our own state of mind, they also disturb the minds of others. Self-centredness gives rise to fear and insecurity, which in turn creates distrust. This is why having an altruistic attitude brings a great sense of happiness and peace of mind. HH The Dalai Lama

So like you said this is what is happening with you... But in times of disturbance that is where we have to try harder to be strong. Think of it as test you yourself must pass and a lesson for you as well. Maybe he needs a little time to be self centered. Not that anybody thinks this is good. But if he has been putting alot out he may feel drained.

Something I am still trying to work on is, happiness comes from within. Nothing external should create that because everything external could be taken away at any moment and thus taking away your happiness. And maybe at times like this "you" need to dig deeper. Not that external things cant and shouldn't give you happiness cause they most certainly do but your true happiness is the strength we need even when things on the outside aren't going the way we would hope.

Not sure this was helpful as I still have a long way to go on my spirtual journey myself but goodluck and lots of good energy to both of you. <3

Hugs to you, Dear One. Relationships can be tricky, for sure. Growth often happens during our hardest times, as I'm sure you already know. If you can get to a point where you can be okay with your partner being sad, that would be healthy for you. Why such a need for him to be happy? It is obviously more pleasant in the home when there is emotional harmony, but the truth is that we are all still very, very human - part of which is learning to rise above ego, experience our emotions and just let them go, etc.

I come from an extremely conservative religious background (think headcovering, practically Amish) and now simply embrace spirituality over any form of religion. This works best for me, and has allowed me to release many former hang-ups I had revolving around judgment, expectations, fears, etc. If you are interested in my journey, I write a spiritual blog at:

www.soulpilgrimswelcome.blogspot.ca

Glad you felt free to share your concerns on this very cool website. Many blessings to you on your continued journey!

I'm sorry I didn't mean to jump straight to mental health issues. As far as viewing us reliving our lives as punishment, is it punishment for a teacher to make a student retry a lesson if they get it wrong or don't understand it?

What works for me is reading the book that I believe in and listening to Bob Marley. Bob's my preacher.

I talked to Ryan about all of it, when he was questioning our spirituality he in one of those moods i mentioned, when he came home from work we talked about it all, i talked to him about some of the things all of you mentioned, and it really clicked with him, and we also agreed it was something we were both going through and not just him alone, i need to be stronger during these times, knowing that his mood will pass and that we are still human like Janice had said, i guess we were thinking to overcome ego is to completely diminish it so i was trying to not let him get upset? now that i think about it, it soundshorrendously silly :b, for me it has never been a problem though, ive been able to let go, bounce back from anything and make peace with it since i was a child, it just takes him a little while longer, but we are working on it, and having this talk about it very much helped him. He will start to think things through, resolve it within himself rationally, and make peace with it, and during so i will work on being stronger and letting him resolve it.

@Brittany Kintigh, its funny you say this the morning after this talk took place we went to our most beloved spot in the forrest near us, it holds such great energy, we call it rocky glen, its a deeeep hole type thing in the earth that has rocks going all the way down it that make a perfect trail to climb down, and when you get down there there is a waterfall that is FLOOOWWWINGG fast in the summer time, it was a good amount when we went though, and if you walk further the hole turns into a tiny valley that if you follow you can get to the large creek outside the forrest, i might have pictures on my profile but we love it there, we got there, played in the waterfall, meditated on our favorite rock, had a really wonderful time soo many butterflies! and your right, we needed it, been cooped up all winter and it was so refreshing and lively to go to our favorite spot.


Thank you all sooo very much for helping me! Its something i have been struggling with for a while. Love to you all!