Sorry, just needed to vent to fellow dreadies and submerge myself in a positive environment right now

I know I am probably overreacting to all this, but there is just something about me that when it involves my child, I turn into the lioness protecting her cubs. Release the rage, Mandy!I just got home from picking my daughter up from daycare. I was asked to speak with the office manager because I had to sign an injury incident report. So ok, I went into the office. The injury was a bruise that was from nearly a week ago, that wasn't even serious. It was a bruise. That's it. Every child gets bruises, and lots of them. As a matter of fact, my child has gotten and gone to school with numerous bruises, many of which were MUCH worse than this one, though no incident report was ever filed on those. Well, I guess they decided to file one on this bruise, and a week after it happened to boot.Anyway, the office manager informed me that she was concerned as to why I hadn't taken her to the doctor for the bruise. I told her that my child is fine, that it's just a small bruise, and I'm not going to fork out several hundred dollars to have a doctor tell me the same thing. I also asked her why they were only filing a report on this bruise, when she has had many before as children do, and many much worse than this one. She said that she was concerned because my daughter had told the teacher that the bruise hurt her. At that point, I guess the teacher started questioning her as to how she got the bruise, multiple times from what I understand, and that all she said to the teachers was that she fell down and hurt herself.Well, apparently a kid falling down and hurting themselves is a cause for concern, a week after it happens. I told the manager that I understood her concern, but that I know my child better than anyone as I am her mother, and that I am sure she will be ok. It was at that point that the manager told me that if I don't take the child to the doctor, she would be forced to report me to child protective services.There are two things that upset me about this situation:1. The fact that the woman told me I have no choice to take my child to a doctor. This means that she is either implying that I am too incompetent to know when something is wrong with my child, or that I am abusing my child. Whether or not there is grounds for either of these scenarios (which there is none) it would upset ANY parent. And yes, I am quite upset.2. The fact that even though this bruise is apparently serious enough to threaten such a thing, yet they only confront me about it nearly a week after my child got the bruise. If this were a genuine abuse or neglect case, most children would be in a lot more trouble in as little as a week of waiting.Then things get complicated once we get home. Me and my fiancee live with his mother due to the combination of her poor health and our financial situation. Well, needless to say she is extremely conservative. Which wouldn't really be an issue, but in her case she tends to be the type of person who is extremely closed minded, to the point of ignorance and bigotry. I have been able to deal with it up until today, but because I was already on edge after what happened at the daycare, well, she just ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time.See, when we were telling his mom what happened, she was upset as well. Unfortunately she isn't the most eloquent of speakers. After all of this, she has the nerve to inform me that the reason why they are "picking on me" is because me and my child aren't "normal". That is, we are Caucasian females with dreadlocks, and I have tattoos and piercings. She said that she knew this was going to happen, it was just a matter of time, and that it's a sign from god that I need to cut my daughters dreads off so that she will be "normal" and socially accepted. We've had this conversation many times before, and quite a few of those conversations have led to rather emotional arguments. Just to give you an idea of her mindset, she uses the terms "dreamer" and "free spirit" as insults when she gets angry at me or doesn't agree with something I am doing.I realize that the daycare was out of line on their threats. That's why I was upset in the first place, though I don't believe it was because of the way we look at all. I actually have my speculations as to why they are threatening me but I won't speak of those here as it is a rather taboo subject.I don't know why it all upset me so bad today, I really don't. Usually I can handle it. For some reason though, the combination of someone threatening to take my child away and someone actually verbally insulting both my child and me, it just tipped the hat I guess. I am usually more passive than this.Anyway, I just needed to vent and hear some positive affirmations from like minded friends. I also think a hot sea salt bath is in order tonight.
updated by @mandy2: 02/14/15 03:52:10AM

Let me also add that because we are living in HER home, I am trying to be as respectful as humanly possible when we get into these discussions. I suppose though, after repressing my feelings about things for an extended period of time, it starts to get to you. Bottling it all up is never good, but where is the line drawn between respecting someone in their home and defending yourself and your daughter?

child protective servies are reall assholes that do more harm then good in many casesmy advice well id take the initiative and go above theyre heads to the head of the day care or topo someone higher up and let it be known that your pissed and that those kinds of unfounded accusations are slander and can be extremely harmfulget them to put pressure from above to leave u aloneu do not want them to get cps involved those bastards have pulled some severely evil shit on my best freind placing her kids with meth addicts who tried killing the kids mom 4 times burned everything she owned beat her to a pulp kidnapped the kids forced the kids to lie in court had the kids sleeping in bed with a loaded rifle and shot the kids dog in front of them (and way way more) and they tried making her cut her dreads and shaved the kids heads who had grown thryre hair from birththats the cps u do not want to get involved with so i advise u take the initiative switch day cares and sue them for slander ofcourse if your gonna sue u wanna get the drs proof that a bruise is just a bruisebut umm are u surethe biggotted mom isnt abusiv e?..talk to your kid 1st make sure that nobody else might have caused the bruises


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

i shoulda guessed u were in texas or oklohomahell if i were u and u were able id move far from that areaat least get a 5 state buffer zone between u and texas


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Well, as far as going to the top at the daycare, I'm already as high up as we can go. The woman who I had to sign the papers with I'm assuming is the owner, as this is the person that always handles all the big stuff. I think her official title is "director" or something along those lines. It's also not a chain daycare, this is the only one, so no other branches to go to and complain.As far as the mom-in-law goes, as much as I don't like her, it is highly unlikely she is doing anything to my daughter. She is rarely home except for when the child is asleep (which is one of the few reasons I can tolerate her), and also for the most part, I am aware of where nearly every single bump and bruise has come from on my child. Let's just say my child is quite the vocal artist when she gets hurt. lol. She is also a bit clutzy, and I haven't noticed any more clutzy bruises on her part than I would if we weren't living with the mom-in-law.I'm just so stressed right now. Really need a breather. Unfortunately as I'm now residing in the stereotypical suburban neighborhood, there is literally NO WHERE to go to get away. That is, unless I enjoy taking leisurely nature hikes to enjoy the asfault and concrete.

soaringeagle said:

i shoulda guessed u were in texas or oklohoma
hell if i were u and u were able id move far from that area
at least get a 5 state buffer zone between u and texas

Oh yes. The dreaded texas. The state of the Big Brother cowboy road signs. Have you seen those? "The eyes of Texas are upon you." Creepy as all...I relocated here from the Carolinas, and my fiancee and his family all relocated here from Colorado. I came here to be with him, and he as well as his family came here to be close to his brother, who ironically was trying to get away from them. His brother is the smart one lol.If I had known Texas was going to be the way it was before I got here, I honestly would have never came. Unfortunately now we are in a situation where we are unable to leave for at least another year or two.

Oh dear, it seems as if I'm going to be staying in our bedroom tonight again, away from any social activity with the soon to be mom-in-law.

She just informed me that the reason why she is so upset about the situation is not because my child's well being is being threatened, but because she is worried that this might lead to gossip from other parents at the daycare, which may make it's way to her workplace, with will then reflect negatively on her and any possibility of promotion, raise, or that they might fire her for it. She also expressed to me that "you just don't understand how stressed I am about this, because it isn't affecting just you, now I might have to deal with gossip at work. Gossip, Mandy! I'm sorry, but I just don't deal with the stress of gossip very well."

I nearly flipped out. I think you could see steam coming from my ears...

I'm not sure if I can deal with all this. Is anyone here very good at positive affirmations or long distance energy work? Because I could sure use some positive energy right now.

wow shes a peice of .....id still switch day caresget the drs note tell them to fuck off and die and switch day caresand tell mom in law to grow uphugs from here


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My new book Ban The Taboo Vol 1

Hey Mandy, so sorry to hear about this painful situation! It's so hard to deal with state workers! I used to run a girls ranch for troubled youth. They were kids that were taken away from their homes because it was an unsafe environment but then they had gotten in to trouble while in foster care and then we would get them. We had 12 teenage girls. We tried our hardest to be a family and teach them what real families were like, you know, loving mother and father, how to treat each other as siblings. We would take them on all kinds of trips and activities.One thing I learned after being involved with child protective services, case workers, judges and attorneys, is that the system is seriously flawed! BUT I honestly do not believe that people get into that kind of work for any other reason but to help kids. Because there IS so much abuse and pain there are WAY to many kids in the system. State employees are over worked and under paid and under appreciated. They're tired. But they still want to help. They always want to do the very best thing for the child.I guess all I'm trying to say is, you asked for positive energy and affirmations, I would start with, don't view the system as the enemy. For as flawed as it is, there are good intentions. As soon as you get on the "fighting" end of things then that's exactly what will happen, you'll have a fight. Try to be appreciative that you have people trying to do what's right for you and your child. I know that's hard when it feels like they're out to get you.I'm not telling you to do anything different then SE or anything else. I agree that you should take some action as far as, I don't know, get outside "witnesses" take pictures of this bruise. Write everything down, dates, statements, everything. Just in case this is carried to someplace you don't want it to go. All I'm saying is that WHILE your doing this just change your view. Protect yourself while being grateful that there are people who care about your child's well being. Does that make sense?Imagine your mother-in-law engulfed in a beautiful, calm, peaceful, pink light....all around her, she'll mellow out. Kill her with kindness...and pray for her that she won't have to live her whole miserable life based on who's gunna think what about her...what a sad existence that she (and so many other people) think they have to live in.and in the mean time....I'll be happy to send the good vibrations your way!Good luck Sistah,B

Thank so so very much Heather.