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Marlee Batchelder


Location: Burlington, VT
Zipcode: 05408
Country: US

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Blogs: 12
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No Doubt.

user image 2012-09-05
By: Marlee Batchelder
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Today was a little rough. I had two confrontations about dreading my hair. One was from a cousin, with whom i have been extremely close for a very long time. She expressed genuine disapproval of my decision and told me that she loved my hair the way it was and wished I weren't changing it. She's not the first person who hasn't been fond of the idea, but because of the importance of my relationship with her, the concern was more troubling coming from her. No one wants their friends to disagree with their decisions. But, I told her exactly what I've told other people. It's not her hair, it's not her choice. I value her opinion, but at the end of the day, it's something I have to live with, and something I DO want. Very badly, asI'm discovering.

Another confrontation was from my dad. He has been gone for 2 weeks and is coming home tomorrow. I started to naturally let my hair dread while he was away. He also was unimpressed with my decision, andbasically expressed his concern that people will think of me differently, and that it will say something bad about me. But I am choosing to take an Aristotilian view on this skepticism about my decision, and amdismissing it. Aristotle believed that if someone was skeptical of his work, it was simply because they were not designed to understand it, similar to how the deaf were not designed to listen to music, and the colorblind could not possibly understand (to a full extent) the difference between blue and red. It very well may be hopeless to try to get Dad to understand why I'm making this choice, and I'm ok with that. Convincing him of my choice is not crutial in any way to me making it.

I was told that dreads teach you lessons, a major one being patience. But, I've only been dreading for about a week or so and they've already taught me something different. Respect for myself, for my decisions, for who I am and who I want to be. They are teaching me to believe in myself. To believe in the power of my mind and my body, and my will.

For a while, I was a little uncertain about dreading my hair. Then I started, and wondered if Dad would tell me to stop and if so- how would I respond? I wasn't sure what the answer to that question may be. But I know now. Nothing and no one can change my mind, nothing will stop me. No comment from friends, no threat from my father. This decision is mine. I make it for myself. Not in spite of anyone, and not for anyone else. This is for me.

Marlee Batchelder
09/12/12 11:45:48PM @marlee-batchelder:

Exactly. It's less extreme than a tattoo or even a piercing (once you take it out, there's still a mark) yet somehow it's less socially acceptable (in "professional" environments, and to some people-at all) than the above listed. It can be a completley temporary physical (spiritual) expression of self. And to those who still disagree? Fuck 'em.

Alyssa Metzger
09/12/12 08:26:36PM @alyssa-metzger:
I agree wholeheartedly. I am learning to be confident in my own skin in a very real way. Patience, yes, but also Learning that it's JUST hair people!! We aren't joining a cult!

09/05/12 01:08:48AM @ixchel:

glad you can stick to what makes you happy & ignore the naysayers :)

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