Am I Alone In This Revelation?

Crystal, I think they do too (connect to spirituality)...thank you

Crystal O. said:

You are not alone! I don't know how much it has to do with the dreads for me, because I'm only 4 months in...but I had to tell my "best friend" the other day that our friendship wasn't working how it is right now. She was being opinionated, judgemental, patronizing and just plain unfair to me, like I need her to be my life coach or something. Oddly enough, when I expected her to react defensively and get upset, she apologized and tried to understand and has agreed to work with me because our friendship is important to her. In the past I have just let these things go and pretended she hadn't acted how she did toward me, but I finally felt like I had to share my feelings. I feel more open, maybe it is that "time" in my life where I realize the bull sh*t has to go, genuine is it, or maybe these locks really connect to spirituality...

updated by @panterra-caraway: 07/19/15 06:58:09PM

It is a gift to be comfortable in our own skin, good for you my friend!
Thank you for sharing that with me
Shanxon Lemasters said:

no i completely understand, I've began to see how close minded some people are, this journey for me is all about finding peace in myself, getting rid of the stress and just becoming more healthy and happy as a whole. I had so much stress and drama that I could get rid of and I just never did I held onto it just like I did my vanity of my looks. I am becoming more comfortable with myself and not trying to make people happy all the time, just me and my family. Those who don't get what I am doing that's their problem, luckiliy most people I am really close to are embracing this change in me and keep telling me how "me" it is.

What a kind and sweet thing to say...Sending blessings to you sister <3

Emsgonnadread! said:

Wow...You have taken the words out of my mouth. The ones who judge are the ones who are unhappy with themselves. I am about to dread my hair and know I will come up against the same critisims and judgements. I hope I can be as strong and wise as you are about those who appose what you want to do. Made my day reading this thank you! xemx

i agree 100%. i guess that means we need to move if i had it my way i'd sell all of my stuff, buy an rv and travel the u.s. and get away from all these petty people. unfortunately my husband won't go for the idea. we do plan on still getting an rv and taking trips. hopefully meet some wonderful souls on our journeys. then one day burning man! yay:)

Panterra Caraway said:

You know Heather, I think that is so true about California! We seem to have a surplus of vain, self-absorbed types here. When I go to pick up my kids from school there are these litle cliques of grown women who seem to turn their nose up if you don't look just "right". They all drive these big, expensive SUV's and they display their money by talking about it or showing everyone pictures of it. I don't deny anyone success after working hard...but these people seem to think that success makes them a better person too. I feel uncomfortable with this whole mentality and I tend to sit alone...thus, I become a target for their comments and appraisal. It is sad that this is the reality of too many places in our world.

Heather said:

i'm with you, sister! i think being so cal girls we have to deal with a lot of superficial, entitled people especially woman. sadly i don't even have friends because of this. i just don't have the need or want to "keep up with the joneses". i just haven't found any genuine individuals in my area. i refuse to be friends with people who are close minded, dishonest backstabbers. i have one person who i loosely call a friend but she lives over an hour away so we rarely see each other. i haven't even told her about my hair. i know exactly what her response will be. i'm not a confrontational person and she is. she feels that her way is the right way so i'm sure her response to my hair wouldn't be pretty. i just don't need that negativity in my life right now. dreading my hair hasn't changed me but thats probably because i tend to hide my hair because i hate it right now. i think it's age thats opened my eyes.

I think that is a great idea! If I could, I would travel to all sorts of places...just follow a whim and live and breathe. We need more people like you in the world Heather (((HUGS)))

Heather said:

i agree 100%. i guess that means we need to move if i had it my way i'd sell all of my stuff, buy an rv and travel the u.s. and get away from all these petty people. unfortunately my husband won't go for the idea. we do plan on still getting an rv and taking trips. hopefully meet some wonderful souls on our journeys. then one day burning man! yay:)

Panterra Caraway said:

You know Heather, I think that is so true about California! We seem to have a surplus of vain, self-absorbed types here. When I go to pick up my kids from school there are these litle cliques of grown women who seem to turn their nose up if you don't look just "right". They all drive these big, expensive SUV's and they display their money by talking about it or showing everyone pictures of it. I don't deny anyone success after working hard...but these people seem to think that success makes them a better person too. I feel uncomfortable with this whole mentality and I tend to sit alone...thus, I become a target for their comments and appraisal. It is sad that this is the reality of too many places in our world.

Heather said:

i'm with you, sister! i think being so cal girls we have to deal with a lot of superficial, entitled people especially woman. sadly i don't even have friends because of this. i just don't have the need or want to "keep up with the joneses". i just haven't found any genuine individuals in my area. i refuse to be friends with people who are close minded, dishonest backstabbers. i have one person who i loosely call a friend but she lives over an hour away so we rarely see each other. i haven't even told her about my hair. i know exactly what her response will be. i'm not a confrontational person and she is. she feels that her way is the right way so i'm sure her response to my hair wouldn't be pretty. i just don't need that negativity in my life right now. dreading my hair hasn't changed me but thats probably because i tend to hide my hair because i hate it right now. i think it's age thats opened my eyes.

awwww....thanks we need more kind and loving people like you, too. {{{{hugs}}}}

I am not even 3 full weeks into letting my hair do it's thing and dread and I am already amazed. I truly thought I was at peace with myself and those in my life before I made the decision to go on this journey, but now I am seeing and feeling the changes within myself and am the happiest I've ever been in my life. I have never felt so... satisfied? The best way I can describe the feeling is it's pretty much like finally, I'm done wanting. I mean, obviously there's still things I "want" or wish for, like for people to be more loving, forgiving, tolerating, fair, and honest, but I'm also much more accepting to the things I cannot change. So whereas I used to be what I now see as overly-critical, I am now very accepting of the fact that I can't change that people are brainwashed or narrow-minded, misinformed/uneducated, or just plain have opinions/beliefs that I completely disagree with. I am very content spending my free time alone, because although I may be accepting, it doesn't mean I want those kind of people involved in my life. But what I'm really trying to get at is that since beginning this journey, I have become the surest I've ever been of myself, my life, and the people I have in it. I love it.

That is wonderful Kaylee! I think dreads are like a mirror and you can see yourself and others in it much more clearly. I find that I am fairly accepting, and in some instances very accepting and open to others but...I also think that as SE pointed out, my dreads are like a filter and they have seemed to underscore just who I need to spend my time with and who not. There are certain people that I need to stop compromising my beliefs for. I can still offer a hand and be kind and loving (as I should), but I don't have to hold my tongue when things aren't appropriate or pretend to be okay with petty acts or inhumane ideas. You are right, there are many things that we can not change...but , I also believe that even one person can make a difference. Blessings and happiness in your journey

Kaylee said:

I am not even 3 full weeks into letting my hair do it's thing and dread and I am already amazed. I truly thought I was at peace with myself and those in my life before I made the decision to go on this journey, but now I am seeing and feeling the changes within myself and am the happiest I've ever been in my life. I have never felt so... satisfied? The best way I can describe the feeling is it's pretty much like finally, I'm done wanting. I mean, obviously there's still things I "want" or wish for, like for people to be more loving, forgiving, tolerating, fair, and honest, but I'm also much more accepting to the things I cannot change. So whereas I used to be what I now see as overly-critical, I am now very accepting of the fact that I can't change that people are brainwashed or narrow-minded, misinformed/uneducated, or just plain have opinions/beliefs that I completely disagree with. I am very content spending my free time alone, because although I may be accepting, it doesn't mean I want those kind of people involved in my life. But what I'm really trying to get at is that since beginning this journey, I have become the surest I've ever been of myself, my life, and the people I have in it. I love it.

Yanno, I have hardly begun my journey but I have noticed that lately I have been re-evaluating who the important people are in my life. (I think, for me, its age) I don't really have any friends because I have made a cull and most people didn't make the "cut". I have one "friend" who I seem to hang on to, more for pitty-sake than anything. We've been "friends" for 10 years. I say, "friends" because she is not someone I want to be friends with anymore. We were best friends, but this past summer I found out just who she really is. At the same time, we have been through SO much together in the past 10 years that I can't just write her off like I'd like to. I am moving nearly 3,000 miles away from her soon, so that will probably be the end of the friendship, and I'm not sad at all. I'm hoping to find some like-minded people in the area I am moving too. But if I don't, I'm perfectly content to spend time with my family only.

not at all, i know what you mean and how you feel. remember that our one true soulmate is our inner being.. you really get to learn and grow by yourself and experiance things without the critisism of those you once found imoprtant in your life. i came to realize that im always going to have negative people in my life but the key is to accept and choose how you can react to those people. and i try to remember when someone is ignorant or judgemental, to just love, because you never know the battles others are sufftering