my first comment and it wasn't nice:(

Take heart, Heather. Some people spew this sort of stuff out all the time, to anyone, about anything. Perhaps this woman was trying to impress her boyfriend or her friends. I don't think it was specifically about your locs. It could've been about something you were wearing, whatever. These people pick on the smallest distinction they can spot. At worst it becomes bullying, at best it's just snide comments. What's the bet if she'd been on her own she wouldn't have had the courage to say it? LOL

Which is the best you can do - walk away and laugh it off to yourself. Know that your dreads are fine, and when you feel confident enough to show them without a bandana, I'm sure you'll get lots of admiring comments.

Having said that, and on a personal note, when I decided to get dreadlocks, I took on board that some people are prejudiced against them. I'd have to be ready to take some flak. The best defense against that, I believe, is dreaducation. Be prepared to explain to friends and strangers what dreads are about, their naturalness, and no, they're not dirty, I wash my hair, I don't smoke ganga, I'm not a Rasta, etc etc. Whatever your reasons are. Goes with the territory, I guess.

See it as a trial by fire that you came away from with grace and dignity. From me now - love and hugs!

updated by @hippiegal: 07/23/15 12:10:03AM

Heather, I find it interesting that she realized they were locs, so to me it is just an attempt to be mean.Some people are just ignorant, as stated. I was at the beauty supply the other day, a place they know me well since I do hair. The clerk at the register goes, "Oh, so you are doing dreadlocks...wondered why you hadn't been around much. We miss you. And don't worry, your hair will look good again someday." LOL Okay, if that isn't rude...People are just unexplainable sometimes. Don't let it get you down sweetie. You have more than earned your dreads, in a million different ways, and you will appreciate those dreads like no one else can. You can't talk to some people, so don't bother.

hippiegal said:

Be prepared to explain to friends and strangers what dreads are about, their naturalness, and no, they're not dirty, I wash my hair, I don't smoke ganga, I'm not a Rasta, etc etc. Whatever your reasons are. Goes with the territory, I guess.

I'm so happy you said that hippiegal. Since growing my dreads people tack all these stereotypes on me. Even close loved ones. And I have to explain to them I'm just being me...not a Rasta or a pothead. It's seems when we try to be ourselves people have something negative to say.

i'm in southern california (barbie look-a-like land). i never see anyone with dreadlocks. not even african americans. there's a lot of ignorance here too. i'm an orange county native but i've never really fit in. now if i had big bleach blonde hair, fake boobs and labeled clothing then i would probably blend in well:)

FoxPaw said:

sorry this happened, i hate these type of awkward situations.. I say the typical "Man you lose your comb and see what happens" or "Its what my hair naturally wants to do so why not let it do it?" (it gives me a big self esteem boost, makes me feel connected to everyone & everything( We all know this)) they can take it or leave it, but individuals, like this one, make me feel better as a person because in a way little things like this make me the way that i am.
I live in TN (Im originally from California) & i deal with narrow mindedness here & there.. Like.. "Get a haircut! Fag!" etc.. i just look at em like "What are you doing? Really? Come on get out of the 50s"
But i get mostly positive comments if anything

i guess i really wasn't thinking about the possiblity of people being so blunt and asking stupid questions. looks like i need to educate my self more so i'll haveintelligent things to say back if this happens again.
hippiegal said:

Take heart, Heather. Some people spew this sort of stuff out all the time, to anyone, about anything. Perhaps this woman was trying to impress her boyfriend or her friends. I don't think it was specifically about your locs. It could've been about something you were wearing, whatever. These people pick on the smallest distinction they can spot. At worst it becomes bullying, at best it's just snide comments. What's the bet if she'd been on her own she wouldn't have had the courage to say it? LOL

Which is the best you can do - walk away and laugh it off to yourself. Know that your dreads are fine, and when you feel confident enough to show them without a bandana, I'm sure you'll get lots of admiring comments.

Having said that, and on a personal note, when I decided to get dreadlocks, I took on board that some people are prejudiced against them. I'd have to be ready to take some flak. The best defense against that, I believe, is dreaducation. Be prepared to explain to friends and strangers what dreads are about, their naturalness, and no, they're not dirty, I wash my hair, I don't smoke ganga, I'm not a Rasta, etc etc. Whatever your reasons are. Goes with the territory, I guess.

See it as a trial by fire that you came away from with grace and dignity. From me now - love and hugs!

thanks, panterra. i guess it just goes with the territory when going natural. i have less defined sections than someone who does a starter method so i think it confuses people. it just looks like bad bed head right now. what that clerk said to you was totally rude and most likely out of ignorance. i just wish people would mind their own business.

Panterra Caraway said:

Heather, I find it interesting that she realized they were locs, so to me it is just an attempt to be mean.Some people are just ignorant, as stated. I was at the beauty supply the other day, a place they know me well since I do hair. The clerk at the register goes, "Oh, so you are doing dreadlocks...wondered why you hadn't been around much. We miss you. And don't worry, your hair will look good again someday." LOL Okay, if that isn't rude...People are just unexplainable sometimes. Don't let it get you down sweetie. You have more than earned your dreads, in a million different ways, and you will appreciate those dreads like no one else can. You can't talk to some people, so don't bother.

If the comments are really stupid, I wouldn't bother trying to explain. Just think 'peace, brother/sister' and walk away. Some people are just education-resistant.

Heather said:

i guess i really wasn't thinking about the possiblity of people being so blunt and asking stupid questions. looks like i need to educate my self more so i'll haveintelligent things to say back if this happens again.
hippiegal said:

Take heart, Heather. Some people spew this sort of stuff out all the time, to anyone, about anything. Perhaps this woman was trying to impress her boyfriend or her friends. I don't think it was specifically about your locs. It could've been about something you were wearing, whatever. These people pick on the smallest distinction they can spot. At worst it becomes bullying, at best it's just snide comments. What's the bet if she'd been on her own she wouldn't have had the courage to say it? LOL

Which is the best you can do - walk away and laugh it off to yourself. Know that your dreads are fine, and when you feel confident enough to show them without a bandana, I'm sure you'll get lots of admiring comments.

Having said that, and on a personal note, when I decided to get dreadlocks, I took on board that some people are prejudiced against them. I'd have to be ready to take some flak. The best defense against that, I believe, is dreaducation. Be prepared to explain to friends and strangers what dreads are about, their naturalness, and no, they're not dirty, I wash my hair, I don't smoke ganga, I'm not a Rasta, etc etc. Whatever your reasons are. Goes with the territory, I guess.

See it as a trial by fire that you came away from with grace and dignity. From me now - love and hugs!

Jeez, that sucks. Carry around a picture of soaring eagle and when ever someone gives you shit whip it out and sayGot anything to say now? Or tell them to come to this site and I'll tear them a new asshole. Lol, but really its obvious people like that really piss me off, and if Anyone did something like that to me, I'd laugh at their ignorance. Really you just have to laugh at how stupid people are. Flash them the peace sign next time.

Not to be rude, but is it wrong that I laughed while reading this? Not at the fact that you were insulted but how every time I read something in quotations I had that sort of typical black girl voice playing in my head. Made me laugh for a moment. I tend to get the same thing with black people. "Wow. What are you doing? You need to twist your hair. When was the last time you twisted?", etc etc. Heck, I went to the mall once(I really dislike the mall), and every single black person I passed either laughed to themselves(although it was pretty obvious what they were laughing at) rudely, or just gave me odd looks(you know the kind). Usually I just shrug it off. Tends to work better than trying to talk sense to the other person. Don't get me wrong, though, it's not just black people. I get these comments and questions everywhere. Heather, I really wouldn't take it too harshly. There are plenty of ignorant people out there, and you're bound to run into plenty. It's just something we all have to live with. Honestly though, learning to laugh at this kind of thing helps a lot. I mean, I laughed just reading this. Just wait until random people start complimenting you(at the same mall I mentioned earlier, some random guy with a group of girls shouted "I WANT YOUR HAIR!" I smiled and laughed). You'll start to just enjoy yourself regardless. In short, chin up, Heather. You've got the patience for dreadlocks, now you just need the backbone.

Maybe your friends and family find it challenging to see someone close to them breaking out of their social mold. Clinging to stereotypes is their way of coping with such challenges.

BTW, I do respect the Rastafari way and hold no disrespect toward those who smoke ganja.

Kid Ayn Gibran said:

hippiegal said:

Be prepared to explain to friends and strangers what dreads are about, their naturalness, and no, they're not dirty, I wash my hair, I don't smoke ganga, I'm not a Rasta, etc etc. Whatever your reasons are. Goes with the territory, I guess.

I'm so happy you said that hippiegal. Since growing my dreads people tack all these stereotypes on me. Even close loved ones. And I have to explain to them I'm just being me...not a Rasta or a pothead. It's seems when we try to be ourselves people have something negative to say.