i am very pleasantly surprised on how unterrible my kid is doing at two. you hear all these horror stories of other ppl and their expierience and are anticipating this reaction of temper tantrums, and craziness. i mean yes he has changed a little and since i been working hes picked up one or two of his cousins bad behaviors but a simple timeout fades them away when hes around me. instead of the temper tantrums he shares and instead of the hair pulling like most kids his age hes learned colors. im just constantly stunned with the great things he acomplishes and learnes its amazing. i mean not only is he smart and knows things like counting, colors shapes but we are slowly in the process of potty training. although i do admit that since i started working again the leaps and bounds that he was making in the potty area have withered a bit but thats mainly my fault since i havent been keeping up on it but im sure as with everything else when hes reasy hell excell in it. i know im probably just another proud momma but i really do think my son may be advanced for his age. i mean he just catches on so quickly and alot of other 2 and even 3 yr olds arent where he is. this is one of the reasons why we dont plan on having any more children too. i mean its almost like hes been so easy to raise, easy to teach, and has the best personality that id be afraid if i had another kid they may be the total opposite. its like if u hit the jack pot the likliness of u hitting it again on the same machine is slim to none. i know when to fold them. plus i wanna give Gauge everything i can financially, emotionally, and mentally. he deserves that. now dont get me wrong you moms out there that have more then one kid or want more then one im not putting you down. thats awesome that you wanna do that. its just not in my stars ladies.but besides all that noise everything had been going ok. i been working getting paid making tips. johns been working and just recently started his i think 4th semester. hes so smart. im sooooo proud of him. i honestly dont know how he does it all. i mean school full time, work full time and he even has to watch gauge from time to time while im working i mean its gotta be hard on him. poor guy hardly ever sleeps and is always doing homework or is gone. i just feel bad sometimes because i wish there was more that i could actually do for him. hopefully since i got a job he can taqke an extra day off so he can have a little more time for homework and sleep really. i mean hes up all night doing homeowork sleeps for an hour or two then off to school. i just feel helpless sometimes cuz i wanna take some of the weight off his shoulders but im not that smart so i cant help with that and i cant work for him so there goes that idea and me sleeping doesnt give him energy so strike 3 im out , riiight. i just wish he really knew how greatful and proud of him i am. hes got it tough but hes determined to do good by gauge and i and i am thankful and im sure when gauge is our age and realizes the sacrafices made he will be too. johns also inspired me to go back to school. i wanted to go for veterinarian but latley i been thinking along diffrent paths. not sure what though i just dont think i could cut open and animal let alone put one to sleep. my dream is a no kill animal sanctuary but theres not really a degree for that. latley i been thinking of like a kindergarten teacher but you need alot of patience for that. criminal psychology also sounds entertaining. wouldnt that be funny. two psychologists in one house. i just know i dont want my son growing up with no money in the house. i would love to go on vacations to like jamaica and stuff with him. i really want gauge and john both to be proud of me and lets be honest thats not gonna happen at pizza hut! i wanna make a diffrenece. i wanna show gauge that you can do something awesome with your life and i want to show him that you need college to do that and i want to be a good example too. i want him to have two successful parents therefore increasing his likelihood to become something better than us. i can already see how much potential he has now and i dont want to be the example of what not to do ya know. i have the want, i have the drive. my son is my motivator and now all i have to do is figure out what i want to do with my life. thats the hard part though. im tired of being the osterchild of what not to do and im ready to be SOMEBODY, i guesse its just down to who at this point. my first must be that im always striving to be is a great mom though. and thats always gonna be forst. before the job before the career before anything im gonna be gauges mom. thats probably the best and most important job i have, protect, nurture, play, LOVE, teach and just help my son grow. help him become someone greater and better then i could ever be. and damn it hes on his way there. and having a good role model such as my husband showing him that even if your delt a hand of hardship as we are even if u have to work ur ass off to make ends meet you can still become the rose growing out the concrete. and with such a powerful male role model hes already a step ahead of alot of our young men today. and hopefully since hes hit the ground running he can win the marathon of life and come out on top. i have hope. i have this strong feeling that we just may make it and come out on top. what good is the end goal if its just given to you right, . food is waaaaay better when your starving after all.