WOOP, fluffy first days!!!
Hey everyone, I'm Sonja-Skye, and I am madly in love with dreadlocks for a bagillion reasons!!!!
updated by @Sonja-Skye: 01/13/15 09:11:38PM
so I'm getting mine underway, and already I feel like this journey has helped me get grounded and focused just feeling ready now, unlike the last few years.
I believe I have finally gotten the courage to really be myself and really do what I feel, it wasn't easy for me to get here, I had a few let downs and some relentless rubbish going on in my life, that just WOULD NOT stop playing on my mind, truth be told, I really needed this as a soulful awakening, and I am so proud that I am making a move to take hold and teach myself patience and hopefully I can REALLY find myself, who I truly am and how I really feel about my life. Which I believe is not only MINE, but also in many ways OURS, I love to try and help people, but the last few months I have just felt like my life is wilting and have also been feeling sore and sorry for not knowing how to try and rid myself of all this negative energy...
What's worse, is how miserable and helpless I have felt, realizing that I have been the one creating alot of this negative energy for myself, and not knowing HOW to help when there is soooo much hurt and pain tearing the world to shreds, and silly people who don't realize their misery comes from their own materialistic beliefs and their false hope and profiteering, I feel sad for these people who cannot understand this is what's causing their sadness, and why they lay in bed at night, wondering if they are really helping or just doing it for their own greedy morals and ethics, I believe they must be thinking they are doing it for the right reasons, because otherwise they would have so much trouble sleeping knowing they REALLY are the problem and not the much sought after solution!
I feel ashamed that they themselves have not shared in, or experienced such a lively and sparkling loveable awakening, so much so that I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE to share my story with them and anyone else who feels that they need some help to find themselves.
Before I decided that I didn't need to worry and gained the courage to try and help however I can
I felt that my soul was aimlessly wondering Barron and arid emotional planes, and it just was not at one with my emotionality, or mental health, I felt as though I was never going to get the spark I once had for humanity back, and it led me to feel depressed about many things, and I found myself wishing I could revert back to childhood, when I never had a care didn't worry about anything and how I felt so marvelous and overjoyed at the sheer beauty of clouds moving across the sky, or was just happy to be outside in the fresh air and running around free and happy, a time of innocence when I saw no harm in people, only other people that had lost their spark.
I then began to remember what I used to do when I saw these poor people suffering, as young as I was, about 3 or 4 yrs old living in a small rural town, I remembered I couldn't help myself, but TRY to bring that single solitary little bit of happiness to them, just by merely talking to them and showing them, I was not scared, but in fact just someone to wish them happiness, and every success in finding their own spark, and hunger for something to bring them back to life.
my biggest sadness for my past though, is that somewhere along the line, those 2 flint-stones had cotton put between them, and were no longer making contact, my soul was at war with my spirituality, my mentality was all over the place, and I became negative, and believe that I may have transferred this to everyone around me.
Now seeing the adverse affects that it's all had on me AND EVERYONE who I feel love and compassion towards, I hope to NEVER EVER return to this place, and I hope that somewhere out there, this talks to someone else too and helps them through times that feel like they are beyond talk-able, I never thought I could ever get to a place to actually feel comfortable with saying hey, I've been there, done that, am not proud about it, but it's still my past and if I didn't have that experience, I wouldn't be who I am today, a proud young mum just searching her way through all the rubbish and tragedy that we create for ourselves, trying to find new ways around negativity and helplessness, and more ways to help everyone EMPOWER themselves...
now I know you all wonder how I am able to speak so solemnly from the heart and I've only started my dread journey now, but truth of the matter is, I feel my unrest is derived from that crucial first hair cut when I lost all my precious hair and the embodiment of my solidarity and stability, and I only now feel as though it's coming back to me.
how I have missed that feeling, and I love this feeling of it shoving all this self doubt and worry out the door, but I'm gladly paying for the plane tickets for all the negativity self doubt and worry, and just everything I have felt is the opposite of what I stand for, to permanently go on hiatus, and never come back, hell, first class all the way for these buggers and changing the locks, so they can't muzzle their way back into my soul!!!
so I know this may be deep for a first time, but one thing I would like to share with you from the bottom of my heart, is that writing has always been theraputic and realxing for me, and writing is where I feel I can REALLY be myself without any hurdles bothering me, so please feel free to read this :D:D and please feel welcomed with an open heart, to this, the lifetime telling of my soul I'm glad to bear all for humanity sake, hoping that if I can just help one person feel better about themselves or believe that there really is something more out there then questioning their beliefs and feeling like their beliefs and ideals are wrong because they are not the same of others, THEN I will be ecstatic to know that I've done what I've been so desperately trying to find for myself!
love and respect
P.S, below are some pictures of my MAD and EMPOWERING fluffy first days, using the twist and rip method, after resorting to dread dust and a metal comb for a single dread, and realizing it was soooo totally not for me, I've decided this is how I want my journey to carry me on.