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"Coming out" to my family

lv20human
@lv20human
8 months ago
2 posts

I decided this month I would no longer brush, comb, or chemically treat my hair. I am going completely natural and I am super stoked about it. The only problem is my family - my mom's side, particularly - hates, hates, hates dreadlocks.

One of the biggest problems they have is their misconception that dreadlocks - and people with dreadlocks - are dirty. We all know this is untrue, like, 99% of the time. And I totally wash my hair (yes, I use that shampoo everyone raves about). My boyfriend, whose locks are nearing his butt, also washes his hair. But my mother has the nerve to make snide comments about him and his hair every chance she gets.

I posted a picture on my facebook showing off my wavy, uncombed hair and my mother loved it. She has seen my hair in the last week and didn't say anything about how messy it is. Eventually it's going to get long. It's going to dread. And she's going to flip her shit. And it won't just be her. It'll be everyone on her side of the family lining up to tie me down and run a comb through my hair.

How can I tell my family about this intensely personal decision when they already have horrible associations with dreadlocks? How can I expect them to accept me and respect my decision?


updated by @lv20human: 04/12/16 05:05:22AM
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
8 months ago
27,404 posts

my mom for 15 years everytime i looked at her made scissor motions with her fingers, every conversation ..every single 1 mentioned cutting my hair

untill we went out xmass shopping in the mall and  conservative old ladies were surrounding me saying they never saw anything so beautiful and 1 in every 5-10 people who walked by stopped to say  they loved my dreads.. since then she only ever mentioned cutting once as a bribe

but this is what i see with family..they think youir dreading reflects badly on them..but when tthey see people praising your hair loving the way it looks they change their tune

right now shes loving how your hair looks

so dont say anything till she does then just remind her that she said she loved it throughout the messiest wildest stages and it only gets better from there..

and in the end just say 'my happiness with myself is what matters, its ok if you don't like them..you dont have to  unles they form on your own head

they make me happier then ive ever been, so i hope you would want me to be happy

if not..well that says alot about you,

chances are she wil love it up till tye point that its clearly more dreads then not ..and she will still love it but say she doesnt cause in her mind thats what good parenting is.. making you not stick out  so you wont be picked on or olose out on opurtunities

ofcourse that doesnt happen as much as she thinks it will and when you prove you can hold down a good job a good relationship have many freinds and accomplish things  despite having dreads theres just nothing left she can say




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
lv20human
@lv20human
8 months ago
2 posts

So I invited my mom to this thing on Friday and my hair was a wonderful mess. She came up to me and asked, "You're not growing your hair out into dreadlocks, are you?" I lied and told her I'm not. I feel like it's too early to tell her. On the other hand, by boyfriend is apparently very excited about my decision now and is telling our friends. It sucks that everyone else we run into thinks it's great, but the people who will never go away, my family, completely disapprove.

☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
8 months ago
27,404 posts

you didn't really lie, when its clear you are dreading and she says you said you wern't dreading just say "i'm not, i'm letting my hair decide what it wants to do"

Unfortunately family is often the least likely to support you being you

If your parents ran a meth lab, and you grew up to be a multi millionaire movie star they would dissaprove cause your not in the meth business

they always want you to follow in their footsteps..  if you dont do exactly as they did your a disapointment

if they made millions in the fracking industry and you were a preschool teacher..your a disapointment

if they were coal miners and you got a phd in astrophysics and  developed near light speed drives..youir a disapointment

for many parents you can never please them..and be youir own person at the same time

dont dissapoint yourself be youirself and be happy thats all thst matters

i said something similar to that to 1 girl, her mom came on here and chewed me out for "filling her head with lies" and was really really nasty about it

i don't know how 'just do what makes you happy' is such bad advice




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
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