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Dreadlocks Forums

"Because im the parent"

Valentin the Jellyfish
@valentin-the-jellyfish
5 years ago
79 posts

Does the statement "My parents did it to me, im doing it to you, and you can do it to your kids." justify not allowing me to get dreads? I would have been ok with thisdecision if my mom would have at least said why. The subject isnt even open for discussion, her reason when i asked her first was that they were dirty. That wasnt open for discussion either. I had to send an email to a person that i live in the same house with to prove that she was wrong.

Then she said i can do the same thing to my kids, that doesnt really answer the question why. She is probably afraid that it would make her look like a bad parent but my parents say that they dont care what other people think but that is the only reason they wouldnt let me without a real reason. They said getting dreads is like my brother piercing his ears, he has to wait till he is 18. I am not making any mark on my body it doesnt hurt me, what is wrong with dreads?


updated by @valentin-the-jellyfish: 01/13/15 09:02:51PM
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
5 years ago
27,409 posts

just tell them ok i wont get dreads...but i wont prevent them either

if my hair decides to dread itself it was my hairs choice




--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Valentin the Jellyfish
@valentin-the-jellyfish
5 years ago
79 posts
my dad thinks im doing it because i want to look cool and i want to attract attention to myself. i really want to do it because i believe in the rasta idea of keeping yourself whole and i want to grow my roots and connect even more with the mother of everything living
☮ soaring eagle ॐ
@soaring-eagle
5 years ago
27,409 posts
then explain that that its your belief thats driving you to dread and belief is str=onger then anything ..it shouldnt be stronger then familiy however so thet will just have to allow and understand because its happening..


--
Creator and head dreadhead at:
Dreadlocks Site
Glider pilot student at:
Freedoms wings international
Valentin the Jellyfish
@valentin-the-jellyfish
5 years ago
79 posts
we were having a discussion with an old family friend and she said these kids gave her a hat with fake dreads on it, and the kids said that dreads were cool, and my dad looked at me weird. Then we started talking about bob marley and how he died, i said "He died from cancer in his toe, but he did not get it removed because he was a rasta and believed in staying whole which is the reason he had dreadlocks." and i hope he got that haha
ktcrter
@ktcrter
5 years ago
1 posts

I think your parents are just trying to look out for you. I was not allowed to get dreads while still living at home and I am thankful for thier descisions. It allowed me to take some time and really think about why I wanted them.and I started them once I moved out:) I also think the honest truth is that it can be hard to get and keep some jobs with dreads, esspecially if they are just starting. I'm just saying don't judge your parents to harshly,

Valentin the Jellyfish
@valentin-the-jellyfish
5 years ago
79 posts
yeah my parents said if i get dreads they will cut my hair, i have had long hair for 4 years and getting it cut would suck a lot

Sarah Hagan-Stuff said:

i'm gonna have to agree with you, that your parents sounds like they don't want you to dread because they are afraid of what other people will think about them. my momhas told me before that my actions directly affect whatpeople think about her as a person and a parent. but ialways respond with who cares what they think about you or me for that matter. noone has the right to judge us,and if someone is shallow enough to do so then their opinion really doesn't matter anyways.

i think it's your hair and your choice, so you should do it anyway. if you did it would they cut your hair or make you cut your hair? and i also agree that dreads are nothing like piercings. dreads don't leave a permanent hole in your body. when you remove dreads, the hair will grow back, when you remove a piercing it usually doesn't unless it's relatively new.

it sucks your parents are trying to stop you from being free and practicing what you believe in, but one thing i always told my mom was the more she holds me back, the more i will do as i want and rebel against her beliefs when i'm older, and i have. she never let me dye my hair, cut it crazy, have piercings, or do anything fun. notice i say "let me" lol she didn't let me but she couldn't stop me. i let a friend give me dreads when i was 15 and we did it all wrong; i let a friend pierce my nose and we messed that all up too; after dreads, i shaved my hair underneath and she hated it. but the fact is, we are our own individual and we have the right do as we wish. i now have amazing locs that i love, will have green and purple dye in them soon, and have 6 piercings. no matter how hard our parents try to hold us back, in the end we will always still be ourselves and do what our hearts desire. and oddly enough, the older i get and more "crazy" stuff i do, the more my mom has opened her mind, and she loves and embraces all the stuff i do now. you should help your parents grow to be as free as you are!

Valentin the Jellyfish
@valentin-the-jellyfish
5 years ago
79 posts
im going to turn 18 in 2 and 1/2 years but im going to ask them if my graduation present can be letting me get dreads. and i emailed my mom the stuff thats on the opening page on this site, because she thought that all dreads were dirty and it wasnt open for discussion
Pranee RN
@pranee-rn
5 years ago
23 posts
I had "strange ideas" when I was growing up(according to my parents)! My mother threatened to put Nair in the conditioner bottle in response to me partially shaving my head, threatened to have me locked up (mental) for "driving holes in everything that dangled", and finally glued my hands in a prayer position after I started practicing wicca! lol! yeah, we don't talk very often now a days! I also left home a week after my 16th birthday. Now I have three kids that are all very normal (where did they get that from?). I don't tell them not to do things, only think about the consequences and the outcomes... only my 5 year old is experimental enough to don the Mohawk!
Valentin the Jellyfish
@valentin-the-jellyfish
5 years ago
79 posts
well said, and have multiple ways of being myself and finding myself, i am a musician and a soccer player and both give an unlimited amount freedom. but you are right i need to stop my bitchin and stop counting the things i dont have and count the things i do have

hippyjo said:

THis is not a lesson for you now it is a lesson for your kids and how you parent them. Your parents feed, cloth and shelter you not a bad deal if all they want in return is acertainhair style. Many in the world do not have it so lucky. It istheirhouse and they have the right to say what does and does not happen there. Now the flip side and lesson for you later in life. JustbecauseI said so is not an answer it is a power trip.Teenagersneed to find who they are outside of their parents that means trying things the parents do not do. As a parent I hope you will allow yourchildrento find their way and not the way you think best. Instead of making your parents the enemy it may work to tell them they are the boss and you will do what you wantbecauseyou need to eat. Then you can tell them my story. My parent were like that I did want they want. Then I went to collage did tons of acid and dropped out to follow the Dead. At somepointyou will need to find your self. Tell them you are happy to wait and accept noresponsibilitywhen find yourself takes extremesbecauseyou respectfullywaitedfor them to give you space. Yes my kids can have dreads or not but I am trying toraiseadults not clones.

It can be a challenge.

Blessings

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