In masturbation my thoughts are lost,Jumping from scenes to seen,Sexuality streams from my mind,Altering from fantasies to heartaches and broken dreams.But I must digress,It is really sheer loneliness that I must confess.Each nocturnal session,Is plagued by more than just an erection.Sub-conscious mists of love and trust,Keeps driving me to overcome the call of meaningless lust.I reach deep into myself,While fighting off my spirits pain,The tears of my eyes and fountain of my pleasure,Both flow from my body like rain.To the souls that hold my psyche at night,With each touch I soar and my passion takes fight,Only to be ripped from my body with each morning light,Reminding me of love that has been torn from my sight.My spirit is not ready,But my body is over due,I set adrift the old sexual habits,To let in a reality that is more scared and true.I run from your connection,Still craving to see my reflection,In your body and your eyes.But it is for both of our protections,That I narrow my selections,To the ones that I will not wake-up and despise.What I have to give,Is all that I have ever lived.What I need to take,A respect that is not fake,A swim in your lake,And the unconditional love that we make.It's like a convulsion of my words,A passion that I must purge,A whisper that I groan,An unknown name my lips want to moan.It is in the cortex,That I am lost in this vortex,Of flashing pictures of erotic beams,Trying to catch my breath,It is nothing less than trying to find a way to scream.It is an admission of my ghost,That features my body as the host,In a war between my heart and mind.Suspended on the coast,Next to the ocean of the dosed,Not quite sure what I am trying to find.If I do what I always did,I'll get what I always got,It is a story that is deeply hid,It's time to change that broken plot.No longer will I seek what I sought,The fall into the sequel has to be fought,Turning down the fire that rages so hot,The mindless desire that has cast this lot.I was warned about the S.T.D.'s,The high price of the carnal fees,The turning tides of the sexual seas,The potential danger of the girl on her knees.They gave me a condom for my open legs,But there is an infection passed on by more than just semen,Where is the prophylactic for my open mind,Something to stop the S.T.Demon.Valuing myself at higher than zeroBecoming my own self-imposed hero,Keeping each suitor at bay,Discarding the idea let come what may,Waiting patently so that I might sail away,Staying in isolation until my completion day.It is a crushing load that I carryConfident that my state is temporary,Knowing that it is not until death,It is really and truly,The deep dark loneliness that I must confess.