So as Ive been dreading my hair Ive noticed way more vibrations in people than I ever could before. Is this a thing? I have a background in the eastern healing and modalities as a massage therapist and deal with these kinds of things often but Ive felt it more consistently since my hair has been locking up. I must try some more reading about the antenna that is the hair and how locking attracts more energy so to speak. Maybe Im just hyperaware of people and their reactions because I feel on guard most of the times Im in public but so far no one has just come to me out of the blue and shat on me for having dreads. Im about to start a new job soon so I will see how things go from there. I really feel like this is how my hair is suppose to be on my body. It feels natural and like Im more connected to the world, the universe, the earth. I look around and want to help so many people but when I look at the one person who means the most to me I know he will never be able to see it. And so I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years.

I want to be there for him. I want to help and see him grow but its not happening and I can't make it happen. Im growing as my own person too and think we just want different things in life. Similar things, but oh so different on very many important levels of a relationship. I didn't plan this to happen it just did. Im incredibly upset but the stress of everything else around me stifles my tears. I feel like the bad guy because I can't cry it out and get it over with. I dont want to leave him 100% and hopefully we can still work through this rough demotion in our relationship to find a way to be friends because I still care about his happiness even though I just shattered his world. Im not doing this out of spite. I really think this is a necessary part of my life. But man I never in a million years thought Id write this post.