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Panterra Caraway


Location: La Verne, CA
Zipcode: 91750
Country: US

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Dreadful Epiphany

user image 2010-07-01
By: Panterra Caraway
Posted in:
I am a person who is mindful of being kind and putting myself in the shoes of others. I try very hard to be understanding, regardless of circumstance. For the last few days, I have spent alot of time here conversing with all the dready folks and feeling happy and at peace with what I have found. So, with a smile on my face I went to the local shopping center to run errands. In record time, I was no longering smiling! Infact, I was fighting an urge to hit someone with something! The shopping center was packed with every human in my town (atleast it seemed that way!). Everyone was pulling in and out and going to the market, coming out of the bank, etc. Parking/driving etiquette went right out the window and the folks at the bank let the door slam in my face! I held the door for more than a few people and not one said thank you. Upon leaving the center I got a very loud and rude honk when I didn't zoom through the green light fast enough (guess what? I would have killed a lady in the cross walk!). I came home and slammed the door. How can a 15 minute trip to the store make a person feel so bad? I think what upsets me the most is that the increased busyness is due to the 4th of July celebration. Here are all these patriotic folks laying in their supplies and rushing to do their banking before the holiday and they are flipping everyone off and driving over them in the "American"! Makes me want to live in the forrest.
Heather Gamble
07/13/10 08:47:08AM @heather-gamble:
oh wow....the very same crap happened to me on the same darn day....musta been the impending holiday.....yeah i think thoreau was seriously on to something....

07/01/10 07:09:43PM @sillywalkingminister:
No worries here. And it just doesnt end there. Think of it this way. If it wasn't for all the uglyness in the world, how would you have known you are beautiful? If it wasn't for all the rudeness in the world, how would you have known kindness? There would have been nothing to compare it with. So you see your existence or rather attributes that make you and you feel good about yourself, are dependent on those assholes you just met and vice versa. But unlike those people, you can show gratitude. Gratitude about your existence to whoever you consider supreme for showing you the truth.You will never be a part of that side, cz you have chosen to stay here.But you can just "Accept" that as long as beautiful people like yourself exist, the "other" kind will just have to be there. To give meaning to your existence.

Panterra Caraway
07/01/10 06:57:44PM @panterra-caraway:
Thank you Shiva. Your kind and loving words were like a balm on all my emotional wounds. You are right I see. I never quite thought of it that way, but yes, it was I who brought that ugliness home and I can choose to let it take up residence in my home and in my heart or I can leave it out there. Thank you my friend for showing me a better way. Namaste

07/01/10 06:10:31PM @sillywalkingminister:
I have always been like you but I had a near death experience 4yrs back and I was pronounced dead for 15 or so seconds.. The day I came "back" I had an awakening of sorts and since then every thing that happens in my life seems to be happening for a reason or maybe its just that I can see it now.People like you and me realise that we are "nice" when compared to such jerks. That doesnt mean we walk around feeling better than everyone else but we DO start to expect the same behavior from everyone on some level. YES! World would be a better place if everyone acted nicely and were polite to each other.Not much to ask for but it aint happening.So I let go of this expectation from others. I started using my thinking, my behavior (which I knew in my heart was right and better ) as a shield everytime I went out.Soon it became a compulsion for me to not get riled up even when surrounded by such offensiveness and filth. cz face it panterra, it is only you who brought that uglyness home with you. Sit down, drink a little tea and with each sip imagine you are being enveloped in your own feeling of goodness and that will be your shield for the rest of your life.Jah Bless

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