Being too rough on my hair.

I am a few weeks into "neglecting" my hair. Before trying to get dreads, my hair was matted ALL of the time. Now that I want dreads...let's just say I feel like the universe is REALLY helping me to understand what it means to be patient

My question is this: I have read on here that it is not good for your hair to do anything to "force" the dreading process because it is not good for your dreads. It makes them weak. But I was also told that I need to keep a watch for the matting that will happen, especially in the back of my head, and to make sure I separate the matting.

So, I am really loving the way my hair is showing signs of dreading by separating itself, and I am doing nothing other than washing it with Dr, Bronner's. However, I noticed tonight that some of the tendencies for the back of my head to become matted are starting up again, but I am being diligent here at the beginning of this process to be sure that the pieces stay separated. In watching the videos and reading the forums about separating my hair, I feel like I am really being rough on the hair when it comes to pulling the pieces apart. I mean, I can hear the RIPPING when trying to get two pieces apart.

Is this bad for my hair? Should I be ripping from the roots down or from the ends up? If I am doing something wrong, please let me know. By the way, my hair is down to my waist at this time.

Thanks!

updated by @maria-tyler: 01/13/15 09:53:57PM

Sounds like you're not separating enough. They can need separating very frequently in the beginning because all the normal hair tangles together. When they get more dreaded they won't need it as much. I can go a month and then separate them and only one or two will need separating a tiny bit. I've only had the ripping sound happen once or twice when they've congoed too much, but usually you need to separate it before they get that connected. You take the two parts that are joining (the ends, one in each hand) and pull them apart. People say it's better after washing them, because it's easier, but just do it more often