don't know where i went wrong

so ill talk about my gauges first. I kept in my 12 g for three weeks so today i tried my right ear (which already has a hard time stretching) i used neosporin and used the taper, it wouldn't budge so i just decided not to stretch that ear because i know it already has a hard time stretching.

so i ran my left ear under hot water, lubed the taper, and it hurt sort of like the normal stinging but worse. its not excruciating but i don't like it but I got the gauge in and I'm leaving it in because i don't want to mess with it any more. it just feels like a bad experience because i don't think you're really suppose to feel much when stretching so I'm putting ice on it right now.

i got my cartilage pierced about seven weeks ago and i changed the piercing even though i knew i should've waited and now its swollen i returned to the original earing because it's gold and won't hurt. so my ears are all messed up well not messed up but they hurt. should i take the gauge out? or just not mess with it anymore?