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Aya Heartright

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Location: Northfield, OH
Zipcode: 44067
Country: US

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Dread regret


By Aya Heartright, 2012-01-19

Hello all,

I've never kept a blog more than like 3 posts but I figured maybe since I go to this site so much anyways perhaps I would keep one here =/ maybe.

Right now I am feeling dread regret... maybe it's going around because I saw a few other people feeling the same. I don't mean dread regret that I want to go back to my "normal" hair, I honestly didn't like it very much anyways. What I am regretting is doing twist and rip. My sections have gotten kind of, um, mad at me lately, trying to eat each other more than just simply hair flying around but I believe that I sectioned them against what they naturally would have liked to do. Especially on the left side of my head it takes me about 40 minutes to section them after I get out of the shower because the roots just want to fall in a different direction than how my husband put them.

I've also been watching more videos and reading more timelines of natural freeform dreads and it just seemed so much more natural-duh. Prior to today I have been so rushed feeling, wanting my dreads to be perfect yesterday, that this whole process was going too slow for me. For a while I even wished that I had backcombed them because they look fairly instant dreads, rather than this "mess" that I have right now.

Well, if this makes sense at all I realized that my issue wasn't necessarily that my hair was dreading too slow, rather it was dreading too fast. If that makes sense. I would love to start over natural, that's how I intended to start this journey but for reasons I decided to tnr instead. I wouldn't even know how to start undreading my hair, and honestly I don't know if I would even want to start over at this point either. This might just be a rant that even though natural seems more intimidating at first... you get to a certain point to where it can be appreciated.There will be a time of regret like "Oh, I get it now, I understand the significance," and your ego attaches even to the idea of letting go and tries to control it by saying "you should have done that too."

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