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Thomas

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Location: Kansas City, MO
Zipcode: 64138
Country: US

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Lamentations of a layman


By Thomas, 2009-09-18
when I a younger man, I was often the victim of bullies and fighting because I was always the tallest kid in class. (Currently 6'11) So much of my childhood was full of defending myself and resulting detention from such defenses.. As time went on we all got older and the fighting and bullying wained. But for me, anger and frustration bubbles in me and sometimes overflows in my work and my home life. I have done well in my 28 years of existence in the world to contain the beast within as it were. But for some reason no matter how hard I try and struggle the beast within is rearing it's face and I lose control and my anger flares up and My mouth follows suit and people get hurt by my razor sharp words. I hate when I'm like that and it does no good me or anyone around me but I'm at a loss of what to do. sometimes the frustration with myself at my inability to exercise self control can bring me to tears. I long to be peaceful, content and calm, but I think I do not have the tools to find the comfortable center when I am choking on my anger. I'm at a loss anymore of what to do or where to turn. I refuse to conceed to any sort of pharmaceutical answer and I believe it's a bandaid on a bullet hole. I write this as a bit of self therapy.. something to reflect on myself as I stuggle to find peace in the tumultuous seas of my psyche. No comments are needed but I welcome any advise.
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